problems
everybody has their own problems lah. maybe being optimistic is a form of self-delusion. but still it makes people happy. it has its pros and cons. suicide is stupid though. but its smth that would cross everybody's mind at some point in life. why? turning points? scoldings from parents? worth it? different for many people. and why people fall from grace. why they give up on themselves. family upbringing? if its strong enough, then being in bad company wont affect u too much. it should b smth that happened. smth drastic. there's no need to go down harsh on anybody, u can never take so much, ur own problems and ur friends and ur families'. u'd collapse. do some...er...allocation of problems lah. share the burden. then we can get on with life. like share ur friends problem with ur family, and ur family's problem with ur friends. no1 would get crushed by the weight. cheers.
easy for me to say. im kinda carefree. free to care.
-- 5/31/2007 11:16:00 AM
sec3camp
ok lah it was quite fun. i like. but i spammed my phone batt finish on the coach ride so too bad lor ahaha. we pitched tent on some weird beach then had dinner. i thought we need to wash up the plates but no, the people there very nice, help us wash. haha. and it was raining lah and got lightning then i always duck when lightning forks across the sky. scary. then sleep. didnt sleep much lah, just playing with fire with the 'survivor torches'. haha.
then the next day went cycling. haha got some disgraceful acts i committed which i would not bother to elaborate on, lest i get suan-ed. ask me online lor ahaha its rather much of an open secret yanyway. but i continued with the 52km cycling journey with wx. ah. how sweet. haha and i thought i severely sunburnt but hey, the skin's still here. then we took coach to another place for the rafting. how fun, coach ride and comfy seats after getting our butts all sore after some gruelling 52km ride on some triangular shaped seat which keeps cutting into my ass. but kinda scary, the ride. coz suddenly got some guy got rushed to the hosp, dont know wat happened to him. then i suffered from hallucinations. i close my eye and poof, im cycling. open them and poof im in some aircon-ed buys with nice comfy seats. haha. then we reached the place, had dinner at like, 9? then we got to sleep in the aircon-ed room instead of the stupid tents coz it was raining and our chers were nice. ahaha. and i saw 2 gays kissing passionately for $10. =.= haha and i repeated my story to them. uh...yiwei arh? ahahaha oh ye and i got treated by the trainer there. treated for my cycling...er...nvm.
but i missed the rafting lah. coz i got open wound then he dont allow me go. i had fun playing with ants and caterpillars with...qiren? i think that's his name lah ahaha. then took pics of the rafting people. i hate the owner of the cam though. damn that cher. fuck.
'OH SHIT I MISSED!'
haha and after the washing up then we go some resort slack then had fun sobbing my pathetic story to my friends, how fun. then after dinner with all the sec3s that didnt pon the camp, we go slack. was with the red-eyed people, namely terence and zikang. terence running fever, i running his ship game, how fun. then we had some pointful briefing by gky. then we took the coaches and got to the train station. loadsa fun there and in the train. haha. then got home and shat and took a much needed shower. then go for p5 camp. then had fun. the pesky imps arh...
then campfire damn fun also. haha.
then go home after the whole camp then shat and bathed again ahaha.
-- 5/31/2007 10:31:00 AM
screw me.
screw me. im screwed anyway. if i can write erotic compos, i guess im kinda mad.
yanyway, now after exams liao right? i cant say im very satisfied, but well, at least got improvement. last term l1r5 35, this term i think 25. yanyway i think i like to torture myself. im sado-masochistic. bit the siao 1. go sec3 camp, then after that straightaway go p5 camp. ahaha.
met up with waikit and edward just now. type in our names liao then edward ran off for his cca. whoa, he pti sia. not bad. ahaha then waikit and i go c mrs ng. then party abit. or rather, talk. then i dont know why, i suddenly so meek and shy. different personalities, as mrs ng described. rawr. i think i really very corrupted. im sorry. i cant help it. and my heart likes to race. i dont know wats so fun abt beating so fast.
im kinda scared. i dont know whether i'd survive the sec3 camp not. i know i would lah, but just let me whine abit on this space. haha. and im not taking runescape seriously. i think im using it to escape from reality. i dont know. but still, my problem still isnt resolved. i dont know wats there for me to do. i cant b bothered to do anything anyway. rawr. and there's a song stuck in my head. i feel like repeating it over and over again. but i know. i cant. if not i might just get tired of it and dont like it anymore. like u.
几次悔过
掩埋狂妄的恶魔
感觉却好像毁弃善良的自我
几次脆弱掩饰
不甘的示弱
[这就是我]
再说
我也不特别渴求永久
其实我也无法忠于单一感受
静止了沉溺了
无声的灭绝
晕眩
是我拒绝你已清醒的双眼
是我招唤你眼底的错觉
就让我用力砸碎轻声的诺言
拥抱瞬间
是我用真实的编造了谎言
也是我用残破的猜测这世界
就让我回应你已失序的狂野
虚伪瞬间
是我
几次悔过
掩埋狂妄的恶魔
这感觉却好像毁弃了善良的自我
静止了沉溺了
无声的灭绝
退怯
是我拒绝你已清醒的双眼
是我招唤你眼底的错觉
就让我用力砸碎轻声的诺言
拥抱瞬间
是我用真实的编造了谎言
就算我用残破的猜测这世界
再一次回应你已失序的狂野
我们表演
music
是我用真实的编造了谎言
就算我用残破的证实这世界
再一次让我尝靖错的甜美
甜美瞬间
是你带我经过纯洁的瞬间
无悔无邪
-- 5/23/2007 08:50:00 PM
dont know how to blog anymore
i guess i ran out of steam. maybe coz these days i've been playing runescape as if my life depended on it. watever.
yanyway, maybe it'd b a better idea for people to make me write erotic compos. just tell me. then if i can b bothered to, i'd whip up smth nice.
and i also feel weird. ah. shouldnt blog abt such things. u read liao also no use. ahahaha i wont give u chance to laugh at me. ahaha. retarded. =.= short post, like some1 like that, nothing else to say, i should just go sleep, tomorrow last day of runescape membership. must chiong like mad cow like that.
-- 5/19/2007 02:57:00 AM