FYQ Sex.
After watching limbs break and eyes flying out from sockets in Final Destination 5 (in 3D, no less), I was pretty rattled by everything suspended in mid-air, and basically, anything at all.
It's scary how they make the most innocuous things threatening.
It wasn't a good idea to watch it before section live firing though. Being in front of the line of fire is quite thrilling but the fear of having my balls shot off remains poignant. I still want to populate the world with my kind.
Speaking of section live firing reminds me of the section live firing area, which is basically 100m away from NTU. That's probably why I chose to pee in the open in the hopes of catching the eye of any attractive female NTU student, then I remembered that it was a Sunday and that my life suck.
I think hall life is crazy. From what I heard, I think the orientation itself is crazy. I'd never have the balls to do all the crazy things they do, and it's not only because of my own comfort zone, but because I'm just not built that way. I like to do crazy things--but only of my own accord, out of spontaneity. Being ordered or pressured into it isn't fun.
It's just like having Fei Yu Qing singing elegiac tunes while watching porn, which is basically what happened with one of the threesome Asian video I chanced upon. It was quite disturbing that they were humping to the rhythm of something supposedly soothing. I didn't have the heart to watch on.
Seriously? Weird songs crooned by Fei Yu Qing while you're having sex? What's the world coming to?
-- 8/29/2011 11:06:00 AM
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It'd be narcissistic to think that there is only world with me in it, which is this. The concept of parallel worlds and/or universes is appealing. It makes me wonder if the "me" in another world is doing things that I'd never get to do, enjoying a life I'd never get to experience. People speculate that whatever didn't happen in the world that we know might have happened in the world that we don't know.
Perhaps Alastair in World 1 is a nerd.
Perhaps Alastair in World 2 is a gangster.
Maybe Alastair in World 3 is a womanizer.
Alastair in World 4 might be a homosexual.
And maybe the Alastair in world 5 might be a little happier then he is right here, right now.
If that very speculation is true, it's depressing to think that I'm making all the mistakes so that the "me" in another universe doesn't, and consequently can, get to/at you. It's like soldiers sending robots across minefields to clear the mines, but I'm the sacrificial hunk (of metal).
Maybe there's a world in which Alastair reaches optimal happiness, but life deals you the cards and I'm contented with my hand. I won't reshuffle for anything in the world.
I'm not feeling miserable, I'm just wishing that all the good things from all the Alastairs would combine to form a super-good life for the Alastair that is right here typing away because whatever it is, I'm ultimately a cosmic idiot and I don't care nor feel that the other Alastairs are suffering.
But then again, even if such a feat was accomplished, the resulting Alastair won't be me. And maybe I won't be able to appreciate good fortune anymore. And I like the way I am/live now, I like the way I function, the way I'm structured, and I don't know why I like it, but I'm glad I do.
So what if you don't appreciate my genius? I do, and that's more important than the validation of others. It's nice, but not necessary.
I have 2 nights free from camp. Book outs are precious and I guess that's why I'm always reluctant to spend time on people not of my family. I don't want to try reaching out anymore even though I'm interested in listening to you.
But ultimately, I will clam up like Cloyster.
One without pearls.
-- 8/08/2011 02:36:00 PM
Bridge no.
There are stories one routinely shares, and there are stories that have to be earned. I have troubles talking to people who treat, or completely disregard, the stories I share from the latter flippantly.
I have troubles relating to people who exclaim their want of one's presence when they never bother initiating anything. It strikes me as fake--if you complain about someone's absence, you might as well make it known to that someone and not make empty promises like "Dinner, some time later?" without any follow up.
I think I should give myself a pat on my back for a job well done, not making random "familial relations" on Facebook because those can only serve as painful reminders of a relatively innocent past with warmer relations. And I should learn that friends I don't see are friends that ultimately, don't matter. I should stop being hung up over every damned thing.
I can also predict that I'd lose a lot of friends and make none because I'm such a stuck up. I refuse to learn how to play bridge.
Oh and this is completely off-topic but I thought it funny:
"If you want someone to buy the cow, you don't give the milk away for free."
That's the view of the narrator about pre-marital sex in one of the books I've just read.
Our second, and last, nights out will be on the 17th August 2011 I think. Anyone interested in stalking me can come Jurong Point. I'd probably be wandering around aimlessly, just glad to be alive after the 6day field camp.
I'd look forward to that.
-- 8/07/2011 10:04:00 PM