Hashtag WORTH.
There are few things in life worth exponentially more than what they cost. You can buy a pack of chips from value shop at like $2.20 when it's worth perhaps $2.50 at NTUC or something, and you can go home feeling happy about saving 30 cents. That pack of chips would be worth more than what it cost (if you purchased it at NTUC). But no, I'm not talking about mundane cheap deals like that. I'm talking about a $15 cab fare that I was more than happy to pay.
I think that there's a little girl inside every grown woman that craves for some kind of affection that the grown woman herself thinks she's outgrown. It could be in the simple things like a greeting text, for example, good morning, good night, how was your day, et cetera. It could also be in the slightly tougher things to do, like setting the toilet seat down after you use the toilet, just because you're pussy-whipped (this is probably something I won't ever do). A grown woman probably won't care for such things, like "Ok, he doesn't do those, it doesn't matter anyway because I'm a stronk and independent woman", but if a man does all that, she has a much higher chance of being significantly happier.
I've been a victim of apathy and inertia for too long. OK, I can't say that I'm a victim, since theoretically speaking, I choose to do nothing over something. It could be in the form of not turning up for a promised (and probably forgotten) supper because I helped that someone with an interview many years back, simply because that someone didn't respond quickly enough and I was in my smelly uniform and I wanted to go home and not turn up looking all stupid and hopeful. It could be in the form of going to the Esplanade during the correct season and learning to open my mouth and holding a conversation longer than 30 seconds even though I know nothing would come out of it. It could be in the form of waiting for instructions or permission while wasting time wondering if I should drive down or not, only to realize that by the time that someone else decided, it's too late for me to go visit because we both need to sleep. It could be in the form of getting the information required to find someone (2045hrs, at the jetty/airport/bus terminal/customs, and deciding not to go because you don't have that someone's phone number and any way to contact him/her. It could be in the form of not kissing that someone's forehead even though that someone expressly mentioned his/her refusal to be kissed, because you don't know how he/she would respond to such an infringement of his/her rights.
Life's full of inertia, and I faced a plethora of it. If I were to go, would I be too late? What if I can't find that someone since I don't have his/her phone number, what if he/she's already left? What if I kissed him/her and he/she got really angry? What if, what if, what if? There's no way to answer all of the questions life can throw at you, and I realized that the only way to live is to say "No, fuck that, life's not about answering questions--it's about doing." And then you grab onto any chance to see that person you hold dear, and you find any means possible to locate that person with however little information you have, despite the nagging sense of dread "what if he/she already left?"
All these, in the hopes of making the little girl in her happy.
I think I succeeded, and that's something worth exponentially more than what it cost. Even if there's no pictures to prove that it happened, I'm happy I made you happy. It's never about the pictures, it's about the memories, and I hope I left you with enough positive memories to make you want to see me again (:
-- 7/26/2014 02:54:00 AM