3-7 closure?
oh i havent properly declared that im promoted to sec4.
quite sexpected, but still the thrill of dread overtook me.
after all, i cant blame yany1 for my lacklustre performance.
oh wait that isnt even performing.
ah well, happy to get promoted yanyway.
i can recall vividly last year's details.
last day of school, watched the rather lame/comical show, then going back to class for our report books.
then the speech. a speech most of the 2-5 people gave. the 1 i stuttered, stumbled, and broke down in.
heavy atmosphere.
i think i always get this feeling. every year. at the same time.
also, having gone through my old photos, the pics i have taken with my phone until now, it's like a trip down memory lane.
each pic has its story.
for a person like me, the pics i take all have a story. i think.
so fun, i confirmed the dates with those photos. bit of a heart egg but still it all fun ahaha.
and just being random.
i dont c yanything wrong about self-mutilation. i dont c the point in it either. im definitely not interested in making my body create more cells, convert more fibrinogen into fibrin threads just for the blood to clot, blah blah.
did i get that right? ah forget it.
i like a lil bit of pain. i like it in the mind though. the shapeless, formless pain should b scarier than the physical form. idk, i siao siao le ahhaa i like torturing myself emotionally.
i mean, when people have stuff serving as a painful remainder of a horrific/heart-wrenching past, they'd try to keep it away from them, or dispose of them in yany way they could, right?
but i'd do stuff like take pics, save in phone, bring around me that thing, blah blah.
just to serve as a painful remainder that it happened, and wallow in self-pity.
perhaps i havent gone through alot yet, so i have yet to understand the pain and the urge to delude oneself.
ah well i do know that the abovementioned ways are definitely not problem-solving methods.
rack ur brains more often and u'd understand.
d.gray man 'delete'. im waiting.
-- 10/28/2007 01:52:00 AM
