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Ooh, A.maths screwed.

So as usual, I was having my normal beauty sleep in the morning from 6.30-7.30. But I was rudely awoken by Adarrel, who found it amusing to read bio notes out loud. How considerate. But upon waking up, I realized that everyone else was mugging. I guess I'm the only person who dares to look at Death in the eyes, and await its claim over me.
Even after assembly, some random classmate of mine (I forgot who) came up to me and made the comment 'Eh why you so relax?'
I'm never stumped by such questions. I'm quick witted. My retort was something along the lines of 'I'd rather die just like that than put up a fight and die anyway. I don't fear.' Cool answer, stupid attitude.
So the whole class died for A.maths or something. I think the whole class. Yea. So I was rather happy. I mean, it's better to die as a class than to die alone. But then again there'd be those bastards walking around saying that they're so going to fail, but end up with 30/30 anyway. Fuck them.
So after the fiasco, we had bio test, which was quite easy. But then again I say that for almost every paper, yet turn up failing them anyway. Let's not place any bets.
And I went home with a $2 rubix cube. I was hell-bent on mastering it without any reference to any sort of formula, and I stuck true to it. I mean, what's the point of learning how to solve it when others are solving it in the same way as you? How many people out there who are cubers can say that 'I mastered the cube myself without any reference to formulas'? Not many, I guess. Humans are lazy--they won't want to cook their own food if the alternative is cooked food. Therefore, I set out to conquer the 3 by 3.
And what a fucking waste of $2, I knew it'd be poor quality(hard to turn), but I didn't expect it to break like within 8hours?
Dang. I even took a picture of it to show you people.

Does this look remotely like a cube to you? Screw it.

Anyway, I planned to write a long post about self-mutilation, but I think it can be summed up in a 3 words--Don't do it. Doing it would bring you respite, but respites are all temporary. Why live on with scars when handphones are in existence? How hard can it be to call tinklefriends? Or me, for that matter? Or SMS? Why leave scars on your otherwise perfect arm? Don't do it. I can't emphasize this enough. Don't do it. The pain you felt might be unprecedented, but why be the cut just because it's unprecedented? Why not show how strong you are by bearing the unbearable? Or smile through the unbearable?
Aye. I can't say anything. I'm in no position to judge, because I've yet to experience the worst of what life has in store for me.
Let's just remain optimistic.
And I know my Higher Chinese paper would be screwed up, but I don't really care. I think I'd get a better cube. Or koupe one. Then have fun masturbating and using my jizm as lubricant for the cube. By the way if you have a cube, don't read the above and just lend it to me if I ask.

-- 1/31/2008 11:11:00 PM

Eeeyr I no like prelim 1.

I enjoy having the adrenaline rush everyday I flip open the test paper. It gives me a boner, facing the familiar-yet-forgotten crappy questions the setter has in store for us in the 45minutes rape they call 'Prelim'. Or 'Common test'. Or 'Mastery Review'. Since they have yet to make up their mind, I have the choice not to prepare. I'm rather much screwed, really.
I don't know why I enjoy the adrenaline rush either. I mean, it's really weird. Which normal person would want to get his balls tested time and again everyday? If that guy prepared for his paper, then he won't need to even bother with thinking, since the questions would be set at the 'For-prepared-people' level. I'm not prepared at all, so obviously a lot of thinking would have to happen. In a way, this levels the brain up, right? You go through critical thinking for a reason, and thinking on your feet is fun. Therefore I won't ever study much for my examinations. Call me slack, that's what I am. And 'slack' is an understatement.
Don't blame me for being slack leh. I mean, I have the doctrine of the above to justify my reasons, screw you.
Either way, tomorrow would be the last 2 papers which needs mugging. I mean, you can't mug for stuff like Chinese and English, right? So tomorrow's bio and maths...one can say that I'm prepared to re-enter the study group shit. Forced servitude some more.
Aiya I have nothing else to say lah.
Oh wait. My mood has been rather much of a roller-coaster ride, woohoo. I mean, it sure is fun experiencing this once in awhile, but somehow I have a rather weak heart; let's not spam this.
Aye. I'm sleepy, I need rest to think on my feet. And I'd need to pull stuff out of my ass and pass it off as maths/bio answers. It sure would be fun trying to do things in a half-arsed way. I mean, when was it not fun to do things in such a way?
Aiya nothing to do already lah. Shall go screw myself off to sleep if that's even physically possible. I mean, that'd rule, the process of being able to screw yourself. The road to auto-fellatio is arduous, but at least I know that I have people walking the same road as me.
I am deeply touched, and therefore I should go sleep. What beat sleeping after getting touched deeply?
I need my sleep for the mad adrenaline rush for tomorrow anyway. A clear state of mind would facilitate my maths. And bio. And everything else. I mean, when was the last time you completed something you couldn't normally do without a clear state of mind? Either way that'd be plain tyco-ness; screw you.
Shit lah. Time to sleep. Would be rather happy tomorrow. After all, languages can't be mugged for.

-- 1/30/2008 10:12:00 PM

Banning of rubix cube, however you spell it.

It's quite amusing to see bans imposed during school term. I mean, it reflects the deplorable state the school is in. Why else would teachers randomly ban the healthy art of solving a cube? It only goes to show that the lessons are not reactive enough to displace the students from the fingering of cubes. That explains the furore over the ban, with one guy shouting 'NONSENSE' at Mr. Teo. Which makes everything even more fun, woohoo.
Either way I'm not much of a cuber, but I'm rather much well-poised for failing of both maths. I can't say anything either, having not put in much effort. I think I should die, but no, too optimistic, woohoo. Either way I have...2 E.Maths practice papers waiting for me to attempt, and a few assignments on HeyMath! - Catholic High School.
One word puts my perspective in place--shitty.
Which reminds me of shitty Facebook. It's asking me to make a friend request to any random Cat High guy. I can't be bothered doing such a thing, I'd rather get my account deleted. Shitty, once more.
I'm antisocial anyway, make me.
OK. DGM 67 downloaded. Oops, I wasn't even supposed to download anything. I remember promising my mum not to use the computer (again, another self-imposed bullshit). I'm sure I'm not supposed to even blog, but heck. I need to de-stress from the 'Prelim 1'. Which reminds me of yet some bullshit stuff from assembly which made me barf. Mr. Teo mentioned something about 'Sec4s, you all are having your common tests. Wait, I mean Prelim 1. Or Mastery Review.' OK maybe those weren't the exact words but heck--you got the point. Cat High has many weird names for its many testest. Test.
Maybe I should start doing those practice papers. I mean, after getting an L1R5 nearly twice my age, perhaps it's time for me to 'smell the coffee and wake up'.
Yea, maybe later, I have to focus on how to stop procrastination. I mean, I have to concentrate on concentrating, right?
Fuck lah, can't be bothered to blog anymore. Shall write an angsty post on Thursday after watching Bleach 158, and the source of angst would be from that episode itself. OK I don't know what's the episode going to be like, but never mind. This is called a preemptive strike if you didn't know.
Yea, time to stop blogging already, I have to do the maths shit (and watch DGM 67, before that). Yep, you got that right. I have no life, I have to watch the same thing over and over again, just to pass time.

I seriously wonder how much bullshit I write every time I blog.

-- 1/29/2008 08:26:00 PM

Let's try:

I've always been intrigued by pessimistic people because it's damn exasperating talking to them. I'm not so much of an optimist myself, but I just don't see the point in grovelling on the ground for prolonged periods. Why bother being prostrated by invisible enemies such as oneself?

I have the best of both worlds. So let's see why the pendulum bob of mine normally swings to the optimistic side. This is the point of the post anyway, to bring about the awareness of optimism, which is simply a way of living. Let's try:

I am a pessimist piece of shit. I have no life because there's nothing in it for me. I live through everyday like a zombie, because my girlfriend broke up with me for the most humiliating of reasons--I have a small dick. Size can't be changed, and I think there's no point in life because if I were to get another girlfriend, she might be disappointed by my 5cm. )': I should just die. Nobody loves me. I don't dare to talk to other guys because they most probably have 5cm even when not erect, while at the height of my powers (or lack of power), I can only stretch to 6cm. The girth is nothing, a 20cent coin would own me. I cannot bear to live anymore because I have an inferior complex and I can't win anybody else in anything because ultimately I'd lose in dick size. If I were to cut myself, my penis would be the first thing.

I am an optimistic fool. I have a life because there's something in it for me, I'm sure. I live through everyday brimming with energy and confidence, even after my girlfriend broke up with me due to my dick size. Size can't be changed, but if my girlfriend broke up with me because of that, I don't see the point in grovelling on the ground and trying to masturbate to increase my length and girth. There's no point in getting a girlfriend only for sex, or who is interested in only sex. I am wiser. I dare to talk to other guys because they won't be on the receiving end of my ailment anyway. I can live on confidently because I don't walk around naked.

Is the cup half-full of half-empty? Fuck you, just drink it. Why bother reading it in different ways?

Anyway the above analogy was correct, except that my girlfriend didn't break up with me over dick size. As a matter of fact...well never mind. I have a small dick anyway. (:

And see, I'm still able to face the world. I am optimistic. I am a fool but I don't care anyway. Happy can already mah.

Which reminds me of how people get lost after making one stupid mistake. They think it's the end of the world. They falter after they trip. It's like running in the Olympics. You fall down, watch the other runners sprinting away from you. It's impossible for you to win already, since they are well-trained too. So what'd you do? Lie down there and cry, because the game's over? No you sack of shit! Get up and run! You can't win, but at least show some sportsmanship. Why let one careless mistake be your downfall? At least finish the run like the others.

The rule above applies to studies. You die when you think you're dead. Do you think you've died? Just because you slacked off in one term does not mean that you're dead. The education system is such that you slack you die, but that doesn't mean that any more effort put in would be futile. You keep thinking you're screwed, keep living in the past, and you're really screwed. You can't change the past, and so why bother thinking about it? Memories are best left in the mind, only to be taken out and perused at appropriate times.

I keep seeing updates and of course I keep reading. I get emotional, but I smile in spite of myself. Not that I enjoy smiling, mind you. But because I can still twitch my facial muscles. If I can raise both eyebrows and each of them separately, along with the twitching of ears and a weird amalgamation of all, I don't see why I can't smile. I like doing things not out of necessity, but because I can.

So what's your choice? Would you rather lie down there and get people to trample on your already bruised balls, or get up with the pain and move on?

Get up.

-- 1/26/2008 06:21:00 PM

I am masturbating as I type.

You know the Chinese form of masturbate? 自慰。自我安慰。 And the fact that I'm playing the song 洋葱 isn't helping. So right now, I'm 'masturbating' as according to the loose definition that can be twisted so effing easily.
This is one of the many emotional songs out there, but more often than not, only one song fits the mood at a time. Heck, why am I even bothering about Chinese songs. Let's just cut straight to the fucking point.
你的黑发现在睡进谁的胸口？你的唇现在跟谁要温柔？
That's part of another song.

I don't like to get emotional because I know there's no point in feeling sad. What can you get out of feeling sad and being totally pessimistic? Nothing, so why bother? You screw yourself up, you die, whose fault? Your own.

I don't feel like doing anymore typing. Nah I'm not moody. It's only part of my name.

Ok maybe I am, but that does not substantiate any reaction, right? The fact remains that I'm rather useless, the path of taking HCl (not hydrochloric acid you dumb) seems pitch-black, my absence of presence goes unnoticed for a long time, blah blah.

Wait, sometimes I like being part of the wall. I mean, I can read my book in peace, think things over, stagnate and get crushed by my own inertia, masturbate, blah blah. Alone. And it doesn't help that I'm too popular to be left alone in school, what with the Sec2s and Sec3s all around the school. I find it hard to greet them back after they 'Afternoon sergeant' me. Or 'Hi sergeant' for that matter.

If there's the LOTR, I won't mind trading my sanity for the ring. There was never much sanity within me in the first place, and I don't mind being 'Gollum'.
Or an Invisibility Cloak for a litre of freshly-produced cum (from me). My ramrod would be unable to function for a few days, but what's a few days compared to my life?
Nah just kidding, one can't ejaculate that much. It's impossible, and those trades are such.

There's never a way out, except in.

For the people with computers incapable of reading Chinese, I feel sorry for you.

-- 1/26/2008 12:13:00 AM

Hello, this is my blog.

So don't bother tagging me on why I don't like people who care so much about their images that they need hair to cover their faces, because these people should do me a favour and choke. If you don't like what I write, here's a suggestion: Don't read. You know how crude I can get, reading my blog would get your blood boiling so much you'd love to choke me but you can't because that's against the law and since that's the case you won't want to sacrifice your life for mine.

After all, I have a small dick and hairy legs. If you don't like what I write, then don't get pissed off by what this small-dicked guy has to say. I mean, if the tickling of my leg hair on your skin irks you, why don't you just stay away? And since hairstylists can't make my leg hair look even manlier than it is now, I don't think they should stay in occupation, screw you. I don't have problems with barbers though. Guys should never grow long hair. What's the point in looking like you're in a band(unemployed)? You're just a waste of oxygen and Earth resources and I hope you choke.

Since you don't like me, screw off. I don't need you to like me. I mean, I spend a few minutes jizzing out this pile of cum and if you don't enjoy lapping it up, just go away. I don't need you sucking my cum, you're not worth it. That's a crude analogy, but I don't mean it in a derogatory way. I mean, I respect females.

Anyway I was bloghopping once again and I decided that the Singapore education system is really screwed. They're inciting competitiveness like right now at this tender age of 15. Yes, I'm still 15 and young, shut up. If they don't moderate the results of the O's, perhaps more people would get their distinction, but NO. The system just has to run a system in which only the best of the best get their distinction and go to the JC of their choice. If this isn't competitiveness, what is? This system of 'test-and-pray' is getting on my nerves, and I'm wishing that Cat High is an IP school, thought I don't like that system much.

I had this weirdest thought while waiting for the O's result to come back. I got so jittery that I started cursing and hoping that others would be part of the minority to have to drop Higher Chinese. This isn't the usual me, I'm rather much of a nice guy and I won't hope for others to get worse than me just so that I can prove myself superior. This shows that I'm a morally-degraded man, and you'd do well without me around. I hate myself for this. I managed to calm down and stop hoping that others got kicked, not me. But the thought was present, and it proves that I'm evil.

I hate myself. And the education system for being so totally competitive. It's not so much about me reluctant to take up challenges, it's more about me not wanting to own others. I'm not trying to be egoistic, but I daresay that if I work hard, I'd do better than most students. But that's if I even try. Never mind. I shouldn't try to save my ailing face.

And I read the 'Principal's message' in our school website. This is rather fun. This is a
link to the site. Kudos to Josh for the introduction.
I like the 'fertility' iFea. I mean, yea mann! I did mention something about Cat High being totally fertile. Look at the number of pregnant teachers. Soon even the male teachers would be given the chance to conceive.

My counter is erratic. It gets on my nerves. I feel like cutting something that's not on me. My ball, maybe. Ah well. I distinctly remember setting it to unique visitor. Unless my computer has a special ability to change its IP address every time it loads something from the net, the counter shouldn't increase.

Don't be fooled.

-- 1/24/2008 11:40:00 PM

Hello I didn't commit suicide after all.

I won't rejoice either. This is only a prelude to the real thing. Taking Higher Chinese O's might be a bit tough though. Fighting with the IP schools over the only O's subject they take. Never mind. It's a source of studying motivation.

I think I should go masturbate to Bleach, though there isn't much to masturbate for. I mean, what's so sexciting about fighting scenes which aren't real? But I need a quick release anyway, so it's ok.
I mean, the stress for getting one straight line is getting to me. I cannot breathe. Too much oxygen.

I have nothing else to say, except that the road that'd unfold in 9months time would be damn tough. Anyone wants to get pregnant? Now is a good time, perhaps the baby would be born on the day O's end. Can you imagine that? A new lease of life immediately after dying, the baby would be blessed. Like a phoenix, you know?

I don't really have anything to say already lah. I mean, what's so exciting about the big O's that'd warrant a lengthy post?

There'd always be people who're happy with their results, and those who didn't make it. There's no point getting sore or glum or totally elated, because this is nothing. Only one out of the many subjects, and this won't substantiate much.

OK I have the sudden urge to start eating textbooks, but I have a life. I have my Bleach to masturbate to. I have many other better things to get than indigestion.

I seriously have nothing better to say. I'd love to upload pictures of my slipper, my bouncy ball that I nicked, and the A2 certificate, which isn't much to be proud of.

But my slippers are really in a very nice state for the capturing of images, so nice that you can wank to it because it's that exciting. And my bouncy ball gives me boners, making me even harder than titanium. Which says a lot, because I think they make airplanes out of that. Wow, my dick can be used for the production of airplanes. The thought makes me even harder. And I'd gladly keep talking about my dick until my Bleach finishes downloading, but I guess that'd be a bit too much for you people who'd get so envious of my dick that you'd try castrating me, forgetting that my dick is harder than your normal stainless steel.

Never mind. I shall just play Runescape, because I have no life and I don't wish to adhere to the stupid ban I tried imposing on myself. I got 5k rune essence to craft.

Wow. Not bad. You finished reading my paragraph about my dick, I'm proud of you. I gross myself out at times but that's OK. At least I don't eat shit.

Do you? Are you a shit-eater? I'd love to know such people.

-- 1/24/2008 08:12:00 PM

Fuck my ban. And O's.

I don't think I'd be able to sleep tonight. Simply because of the big orgasms I'm going to have in my wet dreams that promises to fill my night up with sexcitement.
Seriously, if I don't get that A1, I should die. I think I would die, but anyway I'm not talking about death right now.
FUCK YOU.
I'm just blogging because I need to drive my point across that if I don't blog tomorrow, suicide might have been what I'd committed. If not, I would just switch on the computer and watch Bleach 157. Yea, quite sure it's 157 now. If I don't blog tomorrow, you heartless freaks should cry for the loss of a great man.
Yes, fuck you for highlighting everything.
Yea right.
I don't get emotional everyday you know?
Either way, I won't bother replying my tags on the tagboard since they've accumulated and it's not that healthy replying on the tagboard since I'm not supposed to even be on the computer due to the bullshit ban I imposed upon myself for no apparent reason at all.
This is rather fun, laughing at you people.
Even I don't know why the fuck I bother with such stuff. It's not going to help in my studies, this banning.
And yes Wai Kit, you're pretty fast muahaha.
Anyway, I should explain my predicament. I'm not supposed to be on the computer, so let's just say that the only website I'd gone to are...the Mozilla start page and blogger. Yea, convincing enough.
To bw-screw you. =.=-yea mann i love my school ahaha. i love myself. bear-uh thanks for coming, shall screw you tomorrow. dh-ahaha tune in more then. cheers. wx-fuck that, i don't need you to like that. you know i want you. sadist-are you even ASKING A QUESTION? the lack of question marks is apparent, and i hope you choke. charyl-i'm perfectly fine. how wrong can i get?? ahaha.
No wonder you're my gay friend.
That's what I'd have replied in the tagboard, but I didn't visit my own blog at all. And don't ask stupid questions like 'How did you know the tags then?' Simple. I have a telepathic link to my tagboard. I know what it's thinking. Get it?
Sex. Sex sex sex.
Reading WX's blog reminds me of certain stuff to be angry about. Stuff like the new 9PM show which made me barf. Have you wondered why there are so many advertisements? It's around 2 short advertisements throughout a course of 15minutes. Have you wondered why you're watching it? It is effing boring. I find it rather much of a miracle that I'm not killed by the boredom it incited within me. I had to do get an immediate adrenaline rush after that 1hour of film disaster, and I got that from taking the plunge and breaking the fall with my face, because I'm that tough.
Just being random. I don't feel like emo-ing everyday.
And the pesky Sec1s that are joining NCC Land. I hate some of their faces. To think I'm relegated from Part D attached spec. to Part A attached spec., thanks man. Certainly appreciated that.
I'm actually very emotional now.
Shit. I don't want tomorrow to come. It's the final countdown, yes, but effing hell no! I don't want to drop my Higher Chinese..
Once again I choose to conceal.
Anything else that made me pissed? Oh, yes. The final countdown keeps getting its airtime cut. I hate it when they do that, they should grow up and just play it earlier.
Ah yes.
I have nothing else to say. You know what happened if a blog post doesn't appear tomorrow.

-- 1/23/2008 08:28:00 PM

Why'm I even banning myself?

I didn't see myself studying yesternight. At all. Was busy watching 'The Golden Path'. So what if I'm not playing the computer? Does that make my holier? NO. So, I might as well come back online. But so what if I came back online? Does it matter? NO.
I might as well eat shit, but that's not very appetizing so never mind.
Either way I'm just blogging for fun. See whether you people would still come back even if I don't sign in to MSN.
Which reminds me of just how bullshitty certain things can get.
I decided to conceal my messages.
O levels results would come in on this Thursday. IP students won't need to read this post because it's totally irrelevant to them.
If I study hard, I might be able to get one straight line for my O's cert. But what would my one straight line come from? I'd be stepping on the carcasses of the many who doesn't perform as well as me, right? The point of this whole education system is basically the survival of the fittest, or most talented, hardworking, intelligent of all.
An A1 is not defined by simply '75%'. It can go up or down, depending on the number of students, or overall for that matter.
So if you can get an A1 for anything, it means that you'd just stepped on other peoples' head, turning them into shit. What's the point of this competitiveness? Does it really show the best of human nature? Just because Catholic High is a Band 1 school doesn't mean it's a 'gentlemanly' school, since we'd still be bullying the less academically brilliant. This includes those not-as-good all-girls school.
So what now? If we are to become the 'gentleman and bilingual scholar', we shouldn't even be competing on the grounds of O levels.
This is so hypocritical, and I wish I was dead. A different battleground does not change the fact that it's still a battleground, and that slaughters and killings would still be in place. Not that exciting now, right? It's not just about you, it's about others. And if I were to flunk my O's, I'd have the doctrine of 'being a gentleman by letting others climb on me' to save my dicknity.
Yea right, I'm just a chicken shit.
And the fact that people call it the 'Big O's' makes it sound sexciting, but NO, it's killing my boner. I'm stating the fact, I can already feel the bulge in my pants contracting. The mere thought is much worse than watching the clip of shit-eating woman, and that spoke volumes.
Fuck you.
I'm always marvelling over the fact that most people can get on with their lives after traumatic things. I'm always left with the smarting pain whenever I recall events that unfolded long ago. I guess I should avoid certain blogs and such. I can't bear to read one anyway, and it's best I don't. It's just stupid if I were to rake up old wounds and memories.
Either way, so happy, I interfere for what shit?
Seriously pointless, I shouldn't be grovelling on the ground.
I'm starting to get disillusioned by the world..time for something. Here's a hint for the something. It starts with an 'S', and ends with 'uicide'.
And you people won't bother SMS-ing me because you know that I won't do such stuff because I treasure my life.
And you're right. Sarcasm intended.
Even if I died, you won't care, so I shouldn't die until you care.
I liked reading someone's writings. She has a black blogskin, and she uses black fonts at times to cover certain messages she didn't quite want to get across. Either way, we have some shit to do with the Sec1s that are joining NCC Land. I have nothing to say to them. Piles of batshit.
连Coleridge的诗句也没欣赏
Speaking of shit reminds me of my answers for the biology test. Something about a punctured lung. My reply to that was 'It became more aerodynamic, and blah blah blah'. And a situational writing in which I wrote 'Communicating with such people is a waste of time.' or something of that nature.
I can go die.
Wonder how teachers are going to react.
Don't bother talking to me on MSN, I'm not even on.

-- 1/22/2008 07:30:00 PM

Ooh, Prelim 1.

I seriously wonder why certain Cat High students hate the school so much. I mean, if you hate your own school, you might as well drop dead because your existence isn't appreciated. The school might be a bit shitty at times (like The Final Countdown), but it is still a very fine institution nevertheless. If you didn't do that well for your PSLE, don't whine about how your NY girlfriend is making out with her HCI boyfriend across the bridge, because if Fate decreed you to have lesser brains than others, don't sulk. It's your own fault that you didn't fare that well during PSLE, and you can blame it on your intelligence. Saying that Cat High sucks is tantamount to saying that you're a failure, and I'd gladly agree with you.
Fuck you. If you can only get into a non-IP school, you'd choose one of the Band One schools, right? And if not Cat High, what other choices do you have? Victoria? Anderson? It's your choice, and since you chose to come to Cat High, don't effing whine.
I don't have a problem walking around with my green pants, and I don't see why you should hanker over the brown ones, because that's just stupid.

Which reminds me of yet another one of the stress-inducing program the school has in store for us. Last year, Mr Lee named the common tests as 'Mastery Review', in the hopes of lightening the atmosphere and allowing us to display our mastery for the subject as best as we could, no less. Then now it's named 'Prelim 1'. It's just a common test, or rather, 'Mastery Review', or 'MR'. Why make so much noise? If it's a common test, stop making euphemisms for it. Tests are tests, not testes. No need for this furore over tests.

Which reminds me, I'm not supposed to use the computer from next week on. Or rather, from today till after Prelim 1. It'd make perfect sense for me to jerk off to porn right now, since it'd be a pornless fortnight. And speaking of porn simply reminds me of the shit-eating clips. Talking about shit reminds me yet again of how I shat today, without the need of suicide.
It smelt and felt the same. I'm contented with that.

By the way, just because I'm not using the computer doesn't mean I'm studying. It just means that my handphone battery would be drained.
Besides the computer, I have many ways of entertainment. Meditation (sleep), handphone, sudoku, reading up on random stuff, so on.

This ban is imposed on me by myself. I want to see whether I'd be able to live life without the use of one of Man's greatest inventions--the computer.
I did say I like to challenge myself.

And that reminded me of what I did this afternoon. I went through some...conversations and found that what I said came true. But never mind. At least you got to see my handwriting. Or at least you would if you still frequent my blog.

I am emotional now. Time for the solace only porn can bring.

-- 1/20/2008 11:43:00 PM

'Countdown' Bullshit

So I was slacking (or rather, sleeping) in class when I got rudely awoken by my friend. My favourite English song of the year had started playing, and in order to escape from the impending death penalty for late people, I grabbed my student handbook (which was, and still is, largely unused) and went down with the rest of the school.
For some unknown reason I didn't have the strength or high-ness to start shouting the song. Too sleepy. But that does not mean that the school can treat us like idiots by cutting the song short, and acting as if we're late.
You know what that's called?-yes, bullshit. Fuck you. The song is 5mins10seconds, and the school would play until around 2minutes. I can just tell from listening to the song, simply because I know the song well enough.
So, with 2minutes notice, they want the whole school down at the plaza on time? If 5th floor has a slide down, perhaps it's possible. But it's definitely impossible with 11 classes using on staircase. If you want us to get down earlier, fine. PLAY THE SONG EARLIER.
Don't treat us like bullshit, I hate it.
This makes me feel like wreaking havoc and playing truant. I just want to avenge my loss of time. Another great regret in life--Cat High can be rather shitty.

Which reminds me of something damn gross. Although I didn't have much of a problem eating bread while watching it, I'd recommend you not to watch with a full or empty stomach. It's best if you don't have one, because if you do have a stomach, and it's filled, the contents would be emptied via your buccal cavity. If it's not filled, you'd have problems filling it.

I'd always thought that shit should remain where it is once it made its way out of the human body. That's saying the toilet bowl. After all, which normal human being would shit, and eat its own shit? And share with another human?
What-the-fish.
I'd rather eat a fish alive than my own shit. I just got sodomized by shit, and I'm supposed to makan the perpetrator? Fuck you.
So, under the coercion of my husband, I watched this disgusting porn clip. I used the word porn loosely here, because the graphics weren't able to induce a boner. It killed my boner instead. It's quite a feat to kill my boner, because I'm un-deflatable.
So, the clip was about the girl who SHAT ON A CUP. The shit could pass off as chocolate ice-cream scoop if you don't look hard enough, but chocolate is dark brown while shit is...not.
So, after shitting into the cup (in some office-looking place), the shitter proceeded to EAT HER SHIT WITH HER LESBO FRIEND. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK.
Normal porn sites won't have such extreme showmanship, but 2girls1cup.com really epitomizes the shitty attitude humans can have towards their fecal matter.
To say that I'm hungry at this point would be scary, but I guess I'm hungry. Not for shit, but for Milo.
Never mind. That could wait.
Oh and after the devouring of shit, they puked over each other and played with the brown gooey chyme. It's not even chyme, because the shit didn't get a chance to be within the stomach. So they puked into each others' mouths.
FUCK. I cannot believe my eyes, and I didn't want to anyway. I had porn to watch later on, and this really shitty performance is such a bloody turn off. I wonder how am I going to shit tomorrow without committing suicide.
I don't wish to go on to the second video, because if you haven't puked on your keyboard yet, this would. Disclaimers are futile, because you people would read on anyway. Or at least you'd have to scroll down, and human curiosity dictates a normal human to read stuff, even if you don't want to, or braced yourself not to.
It's just scary and I'm sleepy anyway.

Anyway I just got married to a mega-flirt in Runescape. I guess I'm honoured to have part of his love.

Time to sleep. I hate sleeping at 2 and waking up at 7. I haven't had 7hours of sleep for a long time, and I know of people who don't even get 7. But I'm a spoilt, pampered brat and need 10hours a day.
After all, sleep is essential for good health. Besides, I washed my eyes with turpentine and I think there's a serious need for me to let everything cool down instead of overheating the already overheated brain of mine. I mean, it's quite traumatizing to see humans eat their own shit, and play with it in such unprecedented ways.
I'm disgusted, but I can still eat bread while watching. But then again I can eat in most occasions so I guess I should be glad I have this protection.

I shall just go sleep. I hope my wet dream doesn't contain the colour of brown, because if there's anything that'd kill my boner, brown, ice-cream like stuff would take the cake.

-- 1/20/2008 12:38:00 AM

I hate having a bullshit detector.

I hate having a bullshit detector. It kept sounding off today. Even after getting home, and into the sanctuary of an Internet connection, it can't stop ringing. I hate everyone.
Let's see...the day started off on a shitty note. A day is considered shitty if one can't break into a chorus of 'The Final Countdown'. And I certainly didn't have much of energy to shout the song out. It sucked.
Then we had some talk from the UWC. That stands for the United World College. I must laud the presenter for being able to catch my attention well enough that I didn't fall asleep. The courses seem interesting, but under the application for scholarship crap, I saw bullshit.
The clause was basically 'Anyone with brains can apply'. Of course, I can apply. So can all the shit-eating monkeys and apes. Would the application go through? Screw you.
Besides, I'm not interested in going overseas to bang chicks from other countries. I love Singapore too much. And the presenters brought girls from NTU. Why bring them if they're not presenting? I mean, I haven't had any girls talking to me for a long time. My sister and mother doesn't count, because that's nagging.
All I wanted, or stayed awake for (because I know it's bullshit), was to hear their voices, and they weren't willing to open their golden mouths.
I feel cheated of my feelings. I could have invested the time on sleep.

Then we had the forced study shit, I mean, focused study group. It's supposed to be 'self-study'. So you bring your maths shit and start doing crap instead of doing Chinese shitwork from the fascists of teachers. I didn't go to the focused shit to do new work, I went there to fucking revise, and you throw me this shit.
I should pon as much as possible, because much though I like shit, I don't like shit-chunking programs, screw you.
Those 3.5hrs wasted there and then could substantiate a lifelong regret on my poor traumatized soul. I think the teachers should be struck down by lightning.
It's a fucking 3.5hours wasted stoning and doing nothing!

Then I got home. Blogged hopped as usual, because I can only blog hop.
I saw a blog post which set off my bullshit detector once again and I got effing pissed.
I shouldn't make any direct reference to the blogger or blog post because she knows me, but I'm an angst-filled teenager, and all angst-filled teenagers are inconsiderate assholes.
Why bother saving a damned bird??
It's just a...small and useless animal. To let it grow up, it'd have to eat a lot of shit (which could've otherwise been used as fertilizers for crops to grow). And so what's wrong with the crow using it as food? It'd have been used as food by other animals anyway.
It's a delicate balance of nature and food chain. You might be able to save this small bird once, but would you be there to save it when it gets attacked again? Don't sign a contract if you can't keep to the terms and conditions.
Looks before you sign.
This set off my bullshit detector once more. What the fuck have you been eating all along to grow up? Meat must have been used, and you eat 3times a day, contributing to the global pollution, and so on. Since you can eat animals like cows, chickens, and not feel guilty, why are you complaining about a nice healthy meal of a bird? Just because it's young and cute? No shit? I find cows cute too, but I eat beef all the same.
And no one can say anything about pigs, they're intelligent. I like intelligent things, but I eat pork all the same.
So, what's wrong with eating a bird? And it's by an animal too. Animals eat animals, and we're animals too.
To prove your point that cute birds shouldn't be eaten, do something like raising your crops and harvesting and growing grains yourself. That's not constructive, it doesn't help the Earth, so just drop the subject matter.

Crows are getting useless, but the Singapore Government has been trying to wipe out, or at least control its population. If you think you can do better than the Singapore Government, go ahead and try.
It's just looking for food, and you're looking for food, too. The fact that your tuna is processed doesn't change the fact that it was once alive.

Man. Why am I such an expert at picking out bullshit?

-- 1/17/2008 07:29:00 PM

More about Camp FEAST.

I forgot to mention that I had the strongest hard-on during the Camp FEAST. The story is as goes--I was supposed to account for all the blankets, bedsheets, and pillow cases. Along with my friend Hasri. The first bunks to come were there girls.
As I handled and counted the bedsheets, warmth and comfort stole over me. I was handling the bedsheets of pubescent girls! Whoa, and the effect was immediate; I could feel the huge pile of meat dangling between my legs throb in anticipation, as if it was a dog that just scented rabbits.
I'm not sure why dogs love hunting rabbits though.
Either way I wasn't really much turned on because I'm not interested in girls, as we shall soon learn. I was turned on more by the sight of the guys' blankets.
Shit. Maybe I'm gay.
Never mind.
Which reminds me on how weird girls are.
It's hard to make them happy without a lot of sacrifices on your part. If you tell them you don't mind, they'd find it hard to accept that you're able to take so much without much of a flinch. If you tell them that you mind, they'd find themselves rather much a bitch.
The irony is this; you have to act like you hate them, to make them feel less guilt for their actions.
There's a saying that goes 'Be cruel to be kind'. Or something along those lines.
Fine. I hate you.
But based on the disclaimer already given above, it's just weird, right? Dang. Which is why I'd rather turn gay. I mean, it'd be much less of a hassle.
This reminds me of how I held my boyfriend's hand in school, and that in turn reminded me of how much I'd missed in my 1 day of absence from school.
My essay on 'Foes' wasn't much of an essay. I mean, if you only have enough words to fill 1page and 9sentences, it isn't much of a literary composition, right? Yet I could still get 20/30 despite its inherent flaws (tense errors, awkward phrasing). And the ending was supposedly one of the best in class 4-7.
I thought my ending sucked. I'd have shown a photocopied version, but the heck of a scanner seems to have mood swings, so I had to take pictures from my handphone. 2.0megapixels. Not pretty.
Thank me for bothering to upload all the pictures up, and in order, too. Don't dwell on minor details like 'sides cut away', 'handwriting too ugly', blah blah.
I am a left-hander, and left-handers have exclusive rights. Like, writing ugly. Talk about coolness.
I have nothing much left to say already. This was written on Friday by the way. 11.1.08
I wrote that in a subconscious state, don't be too caught up and sore over the fact that you can't write such nonsense when you're half-asleep and rushed for time to hand in the work. I am unique, and definitely a genius.
Shall go back to drinking my Pink Dolphin. After all, I need to give myself credit. I hate uploading pictures. So fucking tiring.

-- 1/16/2008 10:24:00 PM

S for Saikhang.

I booked in with WC at around 1800hrs. The rain was irritating. Screw it.
Then we found out that even thought JP and AN were booking out, there was no actual need for us to replace them. WC even devised a rather nefarious plan to escape from the promising hellhole--book out at 10PM, due to some unforeseen circumstances like 'desperate need for banging of human holes', 'screwing of nuts', 'family problems', blah blah. Of course the 'family problems' is an overused and cliche excuse, so the other 2 options definitely does not seem out of the world, don't you agree?
But we got seen by Mr Paul Ng, dashing all hopes for resurrection. This was before knowing what I'm supposed to do though. I heard from JP that S4 duties quite the slack, so I jumped at it. I mean, I don't even need to be there lor. I'm not even their attached spec. so what the hell am I booking in for? Never mind.
WC was left with his Alien group, A2 I think.
Seriously, S4 is damn extreme. Can be damn slack, and can have times where there is no time. I don't like this kind of life.
I remember being a part B cadet, totally interested in what does 'S4' stand for. WC suggested 'Sec 4s'. But I think 'Saikhang' would be the most apt word to describe the work there. I only had another spec. with me doing saikhang, and I liked his company. Maybe that's because he's the only company I have, but then again he's good.
We had the whole gymnasium to the S4s, and we were rather honoured to stay within and have fun, while the cadets are out there getting scorched by the sun. The glass of the gymnasium is such that if lesser light within than without, the people outside can't see us.
We used this visibility advantage to the best, and we slept on the 250+ blankets, bedsheets, pillow cases (in bundles) while they were getting baked. I love myself.
I won't bother talking anymore about the camp because it's only that interesting. The interesting part was when we were trying to get back to school, which pumped within me an anger so intense that I could rip phonebook apart with my eyelids.
I was THAT angry, and it's not good.
Bathically the Part Bs pissed me off. Bs? BS more like. So when we reached school, pumpings were in place. Damn effing angry. But then again I just can't help but inject a bit of humour.
'Don't tell us shit about how you made your SCGS, Cedar, RGS girlfriends, I'm not interested in them.' Can someone tell me what's wrong with this statement?
If you find that something's wrong, you're homophobic; do us a favour and choke already.
I remember hearing some random Part B telling WC and I about how he made friends with those sorry excuses for girls. I know the inherent similarities for both words (G, I, R, L. And GoRILla). Get the point?
After that rather fierce pumping session (I'm not sadistic, till now I've only pumped...a few hundred times, and only 2 of these times were for push-ups. The left few hundred...), WC and I went to change, and we got out of school. Met the guy who was trying to introduce girls to us, and I shouted at him 'I'M NOT INTERESTED IN GIRLS'.
Which brings me back to the point of my ever-exciting conversation with WK.
Yay. says:
then what we do =.=
李毅韦: HOOOO-OHHH says:
hold hands, make out, anal
I'm asking him out for Valentine's, and I do hope he'd comply with my needs and desires for satisfaction of my lust.
He should be honoured that he'd be my first human to make out with (I've tried on horses and dogs, and they suck), and...yea.
I'm bored and I don't feel like blogging at all but I'm blogging for his sake, and I do hope he'd love me more because of this humourless post.
I'm desperate for his love.

-- 1/15/2008 08:46:00 PM

I feel like chickening out.

I don't want to go for camp FEAST. It's a bloody waste of time and I won't sign up for it if I had the wisdom of hindsight.
Please, I don't even know the Sec2s. Why the fuck am I wasting one precious night with them? Never mind.

And I went Vivo with my family, and of course, I did nothing. I mean, I did mention my wish to stop procrastinating tomorrow, right?

But the most exciting event of the day was my mastery of one word: hermaphrodite.
I think it describes me the best, and I can choose to hook up with any one of the bursting-with-testosterone guys from Cat High I have the fortune to have as schoolmates.
For the ignorant, here's a definition of a hermaphrodite:

Noun

S: (n) hermaphrodite, intersex, gynandromorph, androgyne, epicene, epicene person (one having both male and female sexual characteristics and organs; at birth an unambiguous assignment of male or female cannot be made)

Adjective

S: (adj) hermaphroditic, hermaphrodite (of animal or plant; having both male female reproductive organs)

There you go. Are you one?

Never mind. I should pack up for camp. I mean, after all, I have to take a shower in a 1d1n camp, right?
Yea, sure thing. I don't even take showers for 3d2n camps, let alone 1d1n camps.

I'm feeling light all of a sudden. You know, mood swings like a pendulum bob. I think I shall name myself as Bob. Either way, it seems perpetually stuck at the higher end. Let's just say that gravity stopped working.
I'm contented.

A random conversation brought forth the iFea of DSA. So, JLXZ wants to apply for a certain JC through kayaking. Which is damn simple, and thus showing that the benchmark for DSA is damn screwed. Excuse me while I clean the crystallization of shit of my excitement.

Never mind. So, tomorrow, Yio Chu Kang MRT station, 9PM. Cool mann, I'm damn hyped up. I can practically feel a powerful ripple of a pre-boner. Seriously, I'm very much excited over the prospect of one-night stands with all the gorillas of SCGS and Cedar.

Yea right.

-- 1/13/2008 10:30:00 PM

Procrastinate.

So I was sitting around the other day(yesterday), contemplating which exact moment did my life become such a wreck when I decided that I need not waste any more time on such useless bullshit, because what's done is done and there's no such thing as a time machine. Even if there is that technological marvel, I won't risk my life getting jammed in nowhere. I won't be their guinea pig.
Oh wait, where was I? Ah, I decided to stop being the asshole I am (yes, I shit through my mouth) and get a life.
So, how does one actually 'get a life'? The person must of course stop wasting time over stuff like blogging, playing Runescape, integrating life with computers, and whatnot.
I decided to stop procrastinating.
For those who don't know whether 'procrastinating' can be eaten or not, I envy your ignorance. I'd enlighten you all the same, because I don't want stupid people knocking on next-door-neighbours on just what does the word 'procrastinate' mean.
If you completed primary school education with Mrs Ng, you'd have learnt that word.
So, without further ado, the word: Oh wait let me get to wordnet...done.

Verb

S: (v) procrastinate, stall, drag one's feet, drag one's heels, shillyshally, dilly-dally, dillydally (postpone doing what one should be doing) "He did not want to write the letter and procrastinated for days"
S: (v) procrastinate (postpone or delay needlessly) "He procrastinated the matter until it was almost too late"

Give me a break, I don't understand English at all, where's the penknife dammit? Oh yea, I somehow managed to recall this bit of filth from my memory, a testament to my sexual orientation.
I dreamt of myself holding a guy's hand on Valentine's day. Or perhaps it was just a normal school day, just that J8 had a sudden influx of teenage couples, bodies pumped with raging hormones. I dreamt that I was raging with hormones too, and I started making out with that guy the moment the cinema had its lights off. It was an enriching 3hours of movie, with all the different styles and positions exhausted. Somehow, every couple in the cinema had dishevelled hairstyles, and panting with shirt buttons at the wrong places, and muttered whispers such as 'You wore my underwear'. Valentine's day is a mere sales gimmick, a commercialized affair much like Christmas and New Year. I think it should be scrapped, because once again I'd rather appreciate and go out with my own shit on Valentine's day than with a girl. Simply put, I can't and won't find a girl to go out with my on Valentine's, for a reason simple enough.
I want a guy. The face of the main character in my 'movie wet dream' had faded. I forgot his face, but I know that he'd be painfully ravaged if I ever see him at J8. I mean, one look and I know he's gay. Why else would he appear in my dreams?
I'm not sore about the fact that I don't have anyone to myself during Valentine's day, I know I have myself, White Socks (Bai Wa) and Moon.
They are my best friends, and I might love them more than my family.
White Socks is my pillow, Moon is my bolster.
Every night, I'd pour out all my sorrows onto them. I mean, that's what friends are for, right?
Don't be shocked if you see some random Cat High guy running amok clutching onto a pillow and bolster. That would not be me, that'd be one of the many characters of my split personality.

Which reminds me of just how fortunate schizophrenic sufferers are. I mean, they can be having sex all day long. With air, that is. Then they can be having mass orgies, masturbate to non-existent porn, going out with imaginary girlfriends, all the while under the delusion that they really exist.
I think I don't mind getting schizophrenic, except that the part on voices would be exceptionally scary. I might also start seeing ghosts...but then again since it's a mental illness, someone of my mental capacity would definitely be able to set things right immediately.
By 'set things right', I meant like converting the ghosts into my girlfriends, in which I can choose a girl every day of the year. And they can't say or complain anything, since their existence is only made up in my mind, and they have no rights. I mean, they can't complain to judges and all simply because they don't exist.
Wait...what if the ghosts converts themselves into guys? Would I still get my boner? I think I'm waiting for that day to come. I mean, I want to know whether I'm homo, bi, or just plain straight.
I got rather jealous of my friend's recent exploit. She got herself a girlfriend, who initiated the holding of hands and hugging.
I got so jealous I watched 10hours of animal porn just to burn away the pictured scene which aroused my jealousy.
What exactly is animal porn anyway? Dogs humping one another? Gorillas grunting as they thrust? Crocodiles biting into each other? Frogs doing froggy style? Horses trampling on each other? Or a royal rumble, in which the horse humps the crocodiles, and gorillas humping horses, etc etc. After all, where there's a will there's a way, right?
NO.
Screw you, crocodiles and frogs lay eggs, eat you own shit if you thought otherwise.

By the way, I live near(or in, I can't remember which) the IMH, or Buangkok Green Medical Park. That's right, it's the Institute of Mental Health. Of or for, I can't remember which.
I think I should go in for a look, because schizophrenia is contagious.

Yea right.

By the way, I think I should stop procrastinating.
Tomorrow.

-- 1/13/2008 02:08:00 AM

Bastardly Sec1s.

Alright now that I'm not feeling much better, I think it's time for a proper update while waiting for DGM 65 to finish downloading.
Can we all agree that the Sec1 intake this year can all die? I mean, they are young, immature, fat, childish, stupid, and bathically useless.
This is apparent from the CCA exhibition yesterday, in which we managed to secure 89 names. Which isn't a lot.
Here are some comments made by these undeserving bastards:
'WOW. Got gun! Kill me lah! Shoot me!'--given when we were patrolling.
I'd shut your mouth up with my unbelievably huge penis, and drown you in my cum. That's considered shooting, right? Screw you.
'So fake. It's so fake.'--during sentry.
Screw you. Why don't you go home and shag your mum instead of coming to Cat High? You don't even deserve hell.
'Join NCC AIR! Land sucks!'--some random asshole.
I have nothing to say to you. Words can't describe how disappointed I am, because if such an imbecile can come to Cat High, we're dead. We can only wish for their early demise.

Of course, there'd be those random assholes who run about showing their shit holes, shouting out the other CCAs sucktitude. You know what? No one gives a damn, maybe if you stop eating your shit you'd smell better. Screw off.
Yes, that includes Kenneth CHAAAAAN. I don't know what's his problem, shouting in his duck voice 'AIR THUCKS! JOIN LANNNND!' You know what? If I'm a Sec1, I definitely won't join NCC Land because of this traumatic experience.

Then there's this random Sec1 bastard. I tried to coerce him into writing down his name. He was acting a total bastard (as he is), and he said something like 'How do I know whether this is an act?? Maybe today is heaven, tomorrow's hell!' Fuck you, we don't have training on Saturdays. I didn't give up, I kept trying to talk him into joining, but he was so totally averse to the iFea. BW even shouted at him 'Don't want join just get lost.' I like.

You know something? I'm just a normal teenager who jerks off to animal porn every now and then. It seems that such teenagers have a higher threshold for emotional trauma.
What does that mean? That means that jerking off to animal porn would get you trained emotionally, so just do it.

DGM 65, downloaded.

-- 1/12/2008 01:52:00 PM

CCA exhibition.

I like the fact that I'm especially smudgy. I smudge, but I don't break.
Let's see...ah. Miss Alana Khoo. Dang, she pumped me for no reason!
Today was chem SPA. I brought my chem SPA book, as instructed. But I lent it to the 4-5 people to photocopy, because they had a mind lapse and forgot all about it.
I should be lauded for being so considerate right?
I should be getting prizes like 'CH Gentleman of the term' (though this prize award system is cock, and has since been thrown away), right?
But NO. I didn't get to go up stages to collect prizes. All I got to do was push-ups. I think she PMS, but never mind. She seemed so much happier after pumping us. Ok lor. I did something good, cheering her up with push-ups.

Then we had the CCA exhibition. I brought my fucking bow, and it got ravaged. I'm just glad it somehow managed to remain unbroken. It must be my spirit. But other than that, I found that we have around 800 Sec1s. Add up all the signatures and names by other CCAs and we have around 800. I'm not exactly sure because my maths is prone to fail.

I somehow managed to remain happy this whole Friday, and am happy to remain this way until 12AM when I signed in.
Never mind. I have no mood to write, but I should be ok tomorrow. After all, 'The Final Countdown' simply brings me to a high, and that is certainly much better than cutting or suicide-ing, or just crying.
I don't want to go for the camp FEAST.

I regret. Never mind. I'm tired. Short update. I think I can remain sounding normal, because the only thing I know how to fake is my mood. Muahaha.
And at this junction I should add in a smiley, just to confuse you readers.

(:

-- 1/12/2008 12:27:00 AM

The Final Countdown.

Let's just say that I'm proud to be in Cat High, whatever shit they throw at us. We have this system, in which 'music' would be played. This precedes the morning assembly by around 5minutes.
It used to be band music, much like marching. But it's been displaced by 'The Final Countdown', by some band called 'Europe'. It bathically consists of a blood-curdling vocal done by some high-pitched, low-on-testosterone guy. He sounds worse than shit, simply because shit can't sing, and silence is golden. If the song consists only of the music and rhythm, perhaps I won't need to cringe in the walk to the place in the plaza the Sec4s have the honour to sit at. I felt the strangest urge to die, there and then, when I heard that shrieking disaster called a 'song'. Seriously, it's a good wake up call.
I'm addicted to the ending stanza, which includes the vocalist shouting out the words 'THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!' I loved that part so much I came in my pants. That's one of the reasons why the golden path to my seat looked so long.
Now excuse me, I have to watch Bleach 155.
Ok back. Here's a link to the song I was talking about.
Then we had sex ed, about love and all. It was largely uneventful if you remove the fact that I was sitting erect all the way. Before the boner I was looking at another guy I didn't know into the eyes meaningfully. I know we're the same, my imaginary friend and me. We made out in the auditorium there and then, not because we wanted to, but because a packed auditorium is the best place to make a political stand. Besides, my lust for him was so strong I couldn't hold on any longer.
It's just lust, I know. It's not love, my heart's been taken away anyway.
Speaking of hearts, I hate the Christmas song. I'm not sure of the song title, but I know it has this sentence 'last Christmas I gave you my heart'. You get the point already. The lyrics don't make much sense, and I'd rather shit even more. Why? It had this stanza 'this year, to save me from tears, I'd give it to someone special'. So you gave your heart to someone who isn't 'special'? Never mind.
And the school came out with a 'Focused study' group thing. I don't mind going, but there's a huge difference between going there voluntarily and being forced to attend. It comes as a severe inconvenience to have to stay back from 2-6 every school day. I have tuition on Wednesdays, 5.45pm and on. So, what the fuck now? They want us to push away our tuitions. Fascists. I'd try talking my way through though. I don't mind going off from school at 5pm. They can't do anything, I am Riatsala Eel, and eels are slippery and elusive to capture.
I just received an email, which is yet another chain mail. I quite like the poem, because I like poems which bring lumps to my throat.
Never mind. You'd receive it anyway, because chain mails always get their way around. It can get disguised as a virus threat warning. Which sucks, because one would definitely have gullible friends who get fooled easily. Also, there are the warnings that my MSN account would get deleted in a few days if I don't send it to everyone. Then, a link to msn.com would come out, and the offender wouldn't bother with checking, simply because as long as a link to the authentic site is given, it's trustworthy, whatever the email has to bullshit about.
So what now? Screw you for making my inbox so spammed.
Refer to the tag or rape post for my hatred for chain mails.

Which reminds me of Mediacorp's originality. I remember watching the...天堂鸟. The ultimate evil bad guy was left handcuffed to some metal pipe, and the 2 lead characters left. I don't mean the element Pb by the way. Never mind. Anyway, he was left handcuffed, and I just made a random guess off the 'Saw' scene, pulling out some random prediction from my ass, that a knife or saw would be around, and that the embodiment of ultimate evil would leave behind his hand and escape, because losing a hand is nothing compared to getting captured and thrown into jail for a few years.
It's a hand for a few years, who wouldn't do it?
So bathically, that's one of the blatant copying Mediacorp shoved onto us.
Then in 'Kinship 2', there's this scene in which the guy who claims to be 'Dinosaur' wakes up earlier than his stupid wife, and cleans up and prepares the bathroom for his useless wife to use. This scene is very much similar to a Hongkong show, in which the wife got up earlier than the husband, arranges the slipper such that the husband would get into the slipper when he sits up, then clears water off the sink, and prepares the toothbrush, etc etc. Then after a hilarious turn of events, it becomes the MCP, the husband.
The show's name is 'Maiden's vow'. That's if anyone is interested.
So, after seeing all this bullshit Mediacorp perpetuates on us, I think we should reach a consensus and give up watching all this shit. The plot's not even nice.
You know what's better than watching such shows?
Watching porn, and that says a lot because I'm not so much a porn advocate as you a genius.

One more thing. The sales of d'hide (g) stuff. It's earning me even more money now, because seriously, Runescapers are mostly dumb and simply buy everything at the max. price. They have no brains. I shan't bother to elaborate.

-- 1/10/2008 06:43:00 PM

No safe bus rides.

Forget the fact that the coming CIP program would be the one we participated in as Sec1s last time. Kind of nostalgic, but no, I'm not here to blog about just how emotional I am because of this program. I'm just going to blog about my bus ride home, in which a girl spewed more words than I could in a year.
As usual, I was on my bus 156, getting ready for a damn boring ride home. But if it's a boring and uneventful ride, I won't even be blogging in the first place. So this was what happened.
I squeezed my way through that selfish girl who was talking to her friend, because all friends must talk to each other on the bus and clog up the space, disallowing mounds of meat from moving to the rear. Not their rear, mind you. To the bus rear.
So upon reaching the rear, my unusually sharp eyes brought to attention the double-seater. Being Singaporean, I'd go for the double seats which are not occupied, because Singaporeans cannot tahan sitting beside other people.
I thought I was lucky. I thought I found the perfect spot to sit down and sleep, but I was wrong.
I never knew that NY girls can be so noisy, and that their conversations so senseless.
So bathically, after sitting down, I was greeted by a voice. One girl talking to the other. She talks damn loud, or at least audible enough for me to hear perfectly. I hate such people. I'd love to turn around to eat her up or something, but eating is strictly prohibited in public transports, and I have a problem paying the fine country called Singapore a fine. So I resisted the hunger pangs and tried to get on with my sleep.
But no, that obnoxiously loud bitch just had to keep on ranting about how the Government of Singapore is the 'PAP'. I seriously doubted her mental capacity as a human, because I've never heard such atrocious comments. It is true that the PAP is like woohoo owning, but it remains a fact that the PM can be considered my 'senior' and therefore I have to show him and the party due respect. Either way, she didn't make much sense nor dollars, and I hated her. I love having intelligent conversations, even if I don't have a part to play. At least I get to listen, and that's fun enough.
But no, the stupid girl had to rant on about Channel U and how it got eaten by Mediacorp. Of course, Channel I's existence was plain forgotten, simply because it was eaten and thrown out of the Mediacorp body, and no one gives a shit about shit.
But she does have a bit of brains in saying that the Government is shutting down mediums that may prove to be a potential hazard to Singapore.
Which is so true, because there is no such thing as blogs, and the Internet is never a place for people to communicate on. INTERNET IS NOT A MEDIUM FOR CONVEYANCE OF THOUGHT!
I was ready to barf out loud, but I kept to my image as a gentleman. I just kept listening.
MSN has chat logs.
If I had a thought log, it'd hit tens of thousands of words easily throughout the bus ride. Hell, if I got a notebook I'd be writing shorthand. And this post would be over-saturated and ruined by the mere flooding of my thoughts.
So bathically the 30+ minute ride home was filled with momentary barfs and uncontrollable sniggering.
My guess is that they most probably are Sec1s. I've never seen a mature Sec1, except myself, 3years back.

One more thing to note: They were discussing about the Speak Chinese Campaign thing, and how much it sucks. The damndest thing was this--They were speaking in English all the while.
And it did not help validating their argument that the Singapore Government is cramming Singlish down our throats through TV programms such, BY USING SINGLISH THEMSELVES.
I heard the distinct 'lah', 'wahlau', and all that kind of Singlish. And they claim to be advocating perfect English. Good job.
They added in Chinese every now and then, too.
And they spoke of Singaporeans as if they weren't Singaporeans themselves. 'Singaporeans are like this', 'Singaporeans are like that'.
Well, tell you what. If you really don't like the fact that there are no other television channels to turn to, why don't you fucking set up one whole channel just to bring down the image of Singapore?
It'd be certainly much better than talking all that cock and not doing anything. Tell you what, actions DO NOT SPEAK louder than words, because they can't speak at all. But the noise would drown you in semen, and you'd die, no doubt due to the multiple pregnancy and killing of babies within your womb, leading to your death.
Eat shit, you cock talkers.

I have a full metal spring in my mouth, and the garbage I spout on a daily basis would definitely prove to be more useful than the garbage they spew out in their lifetime.
Oh wait. Perhaps their voices have the same frequency or something, but they sounded THE SAME. Perhaps there's only one girl talking, and talking a lot at that. I remembered her talking about 'I'm damn hungry. I want to eat. Later go buy curry puff. Then go library.' Thanks for the itinerary, piece of crap! I needed to waste my memory on significant stuff like that. I wonder how's her friend reacting, perhaps she was half-asleep through the sermon.
The only thing that kept me awake was the hope that perhaps, just perhaps, she might say something to lessen the smearing of her school's reputation.
I was grossly disappointed.
Fry in hell.

'Oh look, I'm hungry, can someone feed me??' Ok that sounds like my previous blog post but sorry. I have no life.

Let's just say that I won't try sitting near girls ever again. Not that I tried to this afternoon. But it's the same. Let's just say that I'd rather get shot by projectile diarrhoea than listen to another superficial conversation between girls.

I should go do something less painful, like tear off my hair.
Damn. I type a lot. I'm not even sure how many words is this. I type and talk a lot.

Which reminds me, we had afternoon assembly. It was about school rules. I stayed awake, simply to tick off the rules I've yet to break. Let's see..I don't have ear studs, I keep my hair short and neat, my shirt is nearly always tucked in, my socks always cover my knees, blah blah. The only rules I break are...truancy (mild, like turning up very late), tardiness (in handing up of work), and some other things I can't be bothered to remember.
Never mind. This topic is worthless.

And I know it'd take time for you to trust me. I know I'm not trustworthy either. But I'm willing to change. Are you?

-- 1/09/2008 09:35:00 PM

Pregnant teachers.

Cat High has a high fertility rate, and it's best advised for aspiring mothers to join the Catholic High family as a teacher. Apparently, Cat High teachers (male and female alike), are able to conceive easily here. Which reminds me of what my senior said. 'Cat High got the cum smell.'
I don't know about rumours, but it is true that we have 2 pregnant-already-given-birth teachers, and both of them are currently on maternity leave. Other married teachers are also labelled 'PREGNANT', perhaps not so much by the gynaecologist, but more of the average student, who thinks that plain fats = signs of pregnancy. But don't take me for my word, I'm a born sceptic. I'd rather spell it as 'skeptic' though, it throws the pronunciation of the word into light. K and C are different.

Heck. I'm sleepy. I should retire for the morning. Sleep is one thing I cannot forgo, or at least, forgo for too long.
My pile of bones, too lazy to move. And I'm hungry at the most appropriate time possible--12.35AM, Wednesday. And the fact that the obnoxiously gay green piece of fabric we pass off as a 'tie' is missing isn't alleviating my hunger pangs.
Damn.
Someone feed me please.

Shall koupe some random person's tie tomorrow. Where there's a will there's a way, and I can't help but be optimistic all the time.
Cheer up. I know I failed my trigo class test, there's no point checking through the skript, no wait I meant 'script', because it's more or less a blank, and I'd be damned if I have 2digits as my marks. The paper's upon 25 by the way.
It's human to be pessimistic at certain points in life where the future seems bleak and you just want to give up. But giving up is not living your life to the fullest, so DON'T. It's ok to be down at times, but not for too long, because you're screwed the moment you stagnate. I may not be the best cheering agent, but you have your friends around you, and I'm quite sure they can suck out your emo-ness. Oops. I just used the word 'emo'. I'd be damned.

One would reach a point where he stops, looks back to evaluate his life, and get screwed by the lorry that bangs him face down. Don't think too much, don't stop walking. Even if you do want to evaluate your life, do so without stopping. And there's no need to feel dirty or regret anything that you'd done or did not do. If you hypothetically did something that you didn't do a few years back, perhaps your life would be in a greater mess. If you didn't, then your life would basically be the same as now. It might be for the better or for the worse, but if you really think that your life is a total mess, now, whatever you try to do a few years back then ,even if you have the power of hindsight, would prove futile, because you're plain unlucky, and are screwed whichever way round.
I believe I added the word 'screwed' in the 'Foe' essay. I love myself for being crude at appropriate times. I have nothing to say. I wasn't trying to rhyme, but never mind. My plot would start off with me hating someone, then fighting, always in conflict with him, how he's my foe, and how I smashed his face, only to realize that that was a mirror, and that the 'foe' I've always had is a mere figment of my ever fertile imagination, as Cat High has fertile soil and therefore we have fertile imaginations.
Man, I love my plot. Plagiarize if you want, it definitely is not cliched. Forgive me for not mastering how to type the e with the ^ on top. Or something of that nature.

I can never drive home across the message that I'm hungry to you people.
Damn.

-- 1/09/2008 12:29:00 AM

Pussy willows?

So after a rather much sleep-deprived night, I went to school. It must be exciting and get adrenaline pumped within me, or else I won't be able to keep myself awake.

It just so happens that a hair check was what's needed.

As usual, heartbeat accelerates, blood is pumped into the brain and something just feels weird. I'm so gonna get caught for haircheck, because I'm a gay faggot who loves my hair long and would enjoy wasting time just for inconsequential yet ugly stuff like hair.

Turns out the teachers had eyes of cock and didn't catch me.

I always thought that my friends would be the manly kind of guys who doesn't know what facial foam is, and that haircuts can take just 90seconds, in which he'd come out looking perfectly neat.

There's neat, there's messy, and there's the plain unkempt look. Messy would be for those who try styling, unkempt would be those who don't bother cutting, neat would be the decent guys, such as myself.
By the way, what's facial foam? Can eat or not?

Look, I know that the Chinese New Year is coming, but that's no reason for you guys to act like complete pussy willows. You aren't decorations, so quit bitching about haircuts.
I won't bother talking more, because that'd be basically 'washing dirty linens in public', right?

Which reminds me of braces. I feel weird. The dentist placed a metallic spring not unlike those you see in your pens. Supposed to pull the teeth together or something. The tension is killing me.
Speaking of tension, I always feel tension on my teeth whenever I feel nervous. Or perhaps just a weird feeling. Perhaps it's not corporeal, this form of tension. I wonder what, or WHO, can be causing this.
And because of this mysterious object, I suddenly need something that's been lacking within me for ages. The word starts with 'D' and ends with 'iligence'.

Damn. I need my...A1s. I can't afford to slack anymore. I need to go find my special someone in JC. I need to do a lot of stuff. I must stop slacking.
The motivation is a bit weird, but never mind. At least it's a form of motivation.
Given my intellect, I shouldn't have much of a problem. The problem is myself. Whether or not I can bring myself to work hard.
My rheumatic joints won't work fast and furious enough at the last moment. I know what I want, I know my ego won't allow me to settle for less, blah blah. I'm feeling it now. But, help me leh.
I'm lagging a tad too much.

But then again, if the background note of my handphone can change so drastically, I don't see what you can't do to me. I don't see anything I can't achieve. Perhaps I'm myopic, but shut up =.=

Yes. I shall cut down my computer time. I shall have no life. I shall eat textbooks 24/7.
Happy birthday by the way. Bit the last minute but never mind. (:

-- 1/07/2008 11:31:00 PM

Orientation shit.

I wished myself good luck last morning didn't I?
Seems that wishing myself good luck isn't of much use. Or rather, good luck doesn't work on me. So I ended up oversleeping and arriving at school dang late.
Have I mentioned my hatred towards late people? No, I don't mean later as in the menstrual cycle late, I meant the one that involves the 'oops-I-didn't-make-it-in-time' kind of people. Yea, well, I hate myself.
If I eat all things I hate, I'd eat myself first. That's technically impossible, since my jaws are my jaws and can't be crushed by itself. Besides, that's considered self-mutilation and I don't want to be labelled as 'emo'. No wait, it's suicidal. I apologize for the previous understatement.
The last thing I'd eat is shit, because I love shitting. Perhaps I don't like the end-product, but the teachers always tells us that it's not the destination that matters, but the journey. I'm sure you readers can understand my analogy.
Cool huh.
Either way, I turned up late and didn't do much, except bring YC and WL (WL=/=wah lau) to my mum's work place to print the pictures for them to wank to. Nah, just kidding, that'd be gay. Why would normal people wank to pictures of guys doing stuff like rock climbing and drills?

Which reminds me. How many of you actually know that 'Emo' is a culture, not a short form of 'emotional'? It's one of the most commonly misused word in our vernacular.
This extract is from WX:
'and emo = eyeliner/mascara/long hair/cutting wrist/skinny jeans etc etc etc..dun really know what emo is but this isnt emo. humans have feelings too. emo isnt a feeling.'
I'm glad there are still humans out there who knows the true meaning of 'Emo'. It's about the same as 'Gothic', no? Either way, they dress up like Sadako, and climbs out from TV consoles and everything remotely electronic with screens. Nah, screw you for thinking that she can climb out of pagers, pagers are all dead and gone already.
I don't like them much. Why dress up like a ghost? SC once met a ghost in the lift. Black hair, white gown. Hair covering gown and all. He still stepped into the lift and travelled 10floors down, risking rape and a certain death. If it was you, what would you do? Would you step into the lift when you see a scary image?
I conclude that that person, if it was a person, is Gothic/Emo. They both got nothing to do on their hands, and so would search for cheap thrills in scaring the life out of living people. By living people I mean the humans with lives. I'm lifeless, forget about me.

But never mind. Who cares about whether emo=the above definition of WX's, or simply a substitute for those who are too lazy to type 'emotional'. Me included. Never mind. This post is simply a post to bring awareness to the fact that hey, it is a culture (or sub-culture), and not a feeling.

Bullshit. Which reminds me of orientation.

Orientation is bull shit. CCA orientation is lagi worse. Yes, it's quite fun preparing everything, blah blah, but that does not stop the whole program from being more worthless than a pile of bat droppings. We have to scam our way through and get the students to join, laugh as the doors close behind them, and rape them without their knowledge. It's a profound art, CCA hooking-up.
I'm proud to be one of the rapists. Bring down all special equipment and show-off huh. Cool mann, we'd come up with programs that don't even exist. I mean, nobody knows that we never had a 'Kick-your-ass course' before, right? What's to stop us from bullshitting a whole load of crap?
By the way, if the Sec1s read this, they still have to go for the CCA orientation. And they would join NCC(L) just because of my writings. And if they stumbled upon this blog after sometime and found this post, they'd have already joined the CCA, and the Sec3s would be laughing their heads off because they've got people to rape.
NCC is like this, 4years of perpetual raping. Now, we get to sodomize some asses, so why not?

I'm hungry for some shithole, and some food. Now don't cross the 2 iFeas together.

By the way, don't get too besotted by your looks. Looks is secondary. Who in the world would go for the chio-est girl? For all you know, she might have been screwed more than it takes to build your computer from scratch. And handsome guys are normally gays, or flirts, or horny bastards who would 'fuck and go'. Either way, it's normal to be worried about one's looks. I won't worry about mine though, I know what I am. I'd worry only if I get into some trouble or lose my world because of skin-deep stuff.

So don't worry dear. Be happy. Stay happy. I'd make you happy anyway, so never mind. (:

-- 1/06/2008 01:12:00 AM

Hello, screw you.

So I was simply going through the motions of a mundane school day. Yet I could not help but feel jealous. The Sec3s are going to facilitate the Sec2 camp, and that's exactly what we did last year.
Brings back fond memories. And then after seeing these Sec3 OALs faces, I can't help but feel bit sad. Some of them look like faggots, and that may be a bit rich coming from me, but that's the truth. I can't believe I took them for the training camp and didn't notice. Never mind. Looks can be deceiving.
Damn. I'm just jealous that I can't get to go back to Sec3 life and relieve the Sec2 camp experiences once more. It was damn fun, the 30+ of us, cooped up in the CCAC for 5d4n. I'm just jealous. I apologize.

Speaking of faggots, I'm reminded of this plump guy who can't walk to save his life. And he's from Cat High, Sec1. I feel damn disgraced by his lack of brains and plain ineptitude. He was waiting at the bus stop, and then he flagged down the bus 156, in which an angsty me was in. I looked at his face and body and I knew that the OALs were in for it. Out of 10 Sec1s, I think at least 4 are fat. Perhaps the smaller ones were blocked from view, hence this outrageous gauge, but then again it couldn't be this bad. Cat High is screwed. We are a bunch of intelligent, horny, slack slack, fit people. Not the 'I am so fucking fat' kind.
I don't hate fat people by the way. I only hate this trend. It's disturbing. Go away.
Which brings me back to the point. I'd assume that he took 88 to that bus stop, and then took 156. Certainly much more time-consuming, and a bloody waste of money. He could have spent that time wanking in his toilet while bathing, but no. He chooses to wait and quiver in anticipation of what was to cum. I mean, come.
Another thing. He might have went to his friend's house to do project. But what sort of project would be done in 15minutes? I can only imagine one, and that involves him banging his friends' shit hole, while coming too fast. Feeble and unable to stand, he decides to go home, and take a bus from there.
This is just plain stupid. If he came too fast, he should just screw himself, or with the hair that I conveniently removed from my friend as mentioned a few posts earlier. Of course, I'd already been screwed by it so many times it's soggy, but still, hair dryers should do the trick. Or perhaps he should just cut off.
And since he came too fast, he might as well WALK HOME. It's just 10 bus stops, and he's fat and impotent. Walking might be good training for his sexuality problems and erectile dysfunction. Of course, I'd start laughing at him on my bus 156, enjoying the air-conditioned temperature and going into a trance, because the sight of that turtle walking and sweating like a pig would certainly be a sight to behold.

There you have it. Our juniors are getting from bad to worse. Cat High should go IP asap, if not our prestige would be lost. The Sec1s have no brains. Or at least haven't proven themselves intellectually-abled.

Speaking of intellectually-abled, does anyone have any problems with Microsoft word? I think my English is far too powerful for Microsoft to handle. I'd explain.
I was using Microsoft word to write some letter. Doing homework for a friend. I had this sentence 'My sincerest apologies for leaving so abruptly, and without any form of notification.'
Does this sound grammatically correct? Does it make sense to you?
If it does, good job. You are on your way to greater heights.
If it doesn't, screw you and get out of my site. Appreciate my English.
The sentence was underlined with the characteristic green zigzags, and it kindly informed me that I had a 'Fragment (consider revising)'.
What the fuck?
Never mind. As long as I make sense to myself, I don't have to explain to others.

Which brings me back to the post title, which is 'Hello, screw you.' I'm sure you readers can read.
I'm talking about the NCC(L) meeting. It was quite encouraging to see almost everyone turning up, and ready to help. I mean, if I were a girl I'd be having sex with these guys just to prove that I'm eternally grateful for this bunch of help.
But no, they disappointed me. I mean, majority of the people were immersed in their own small talk, unwilling to move and help, unwilling to even contribute iFeas. They can't be bothered to think, so screw them. Homework was even brought out and done. It was not intended to be a study session, so fuck off and go do your homework at home.
I'd prefer the 'call a few people down' way of doing things. I mean, well, too many cooks spoil the broth, and too many humans in the store clogs the place up. It sucks to have so many people yet so few contributing.
I wasn't contributing, but I could see that people were getting pissed off by the lousy attitude perpetually given to them from the addition of such extra cooks.
Never mind. It was largely uneventful. And boring of course, since it's uneventful. The only eventful thing was when the tables dropped, and one nearly crushed my skull. I had the aura. I was protected.
The only other eventful thing was when I got a boner, and started wanking for all to see. Nah, just kidding, I fell asleep.

Had dinner together with...WX, YC, SC, BW, WL, LS, CDD, Pehwee, RY. Cool mann. Never knew that the NP people also holds their trainings till 8+, and that band-ers are hardcore people. Had fun shouting names nevertheless.
J8 is our home.

Oh. And I cut myself with the penknife. I have yet to claim money from Miss Chow for the purchase of crappy items such as 3styrofoam boards and 3penknives. Forget it.
The penknife sliced through my finger =.=
Pain. I guess that's a form of self-mutilation, accidents. They are, after all, inflicted by the carelessness of the person, and since carelessness is part of the person, well, it's self-mutilation.
Now I'm not suicidal nor do I have any thoughts about slashing wrists. But have you every mutilated yourself? Judge, from my definition.

And I played with the Andy Chua Kian Yew once more. I think that's how his name is spelled.
Heck.
I'm sleepy. I should just go to sleep.

There you have it, a nice long angst-filled post.
Should I reply my tags? Like a lot to reply. Dang.

Waking up around 5hours later. Good luck.

-- 1/05/2008 02:30:00 AM

Second day of school.

I don't plan to blog about school, because I'm not much conscious to take note of what happened in class.
All I know is that I'm still Ok with school work, simply because there isn't much of work currently. That would change, I know.

I simply chose this title because I don't want my titles to repeat.

I don't exactly like to go emotionally gaga. But I think I have my limits at times too.
I hate my handphone. I hate it for the note that's can be seen in standby mode. I know it's set by me, but I hate it all the same.
I hate those 6 words, yet I can't do shit.
I never leave my messages unread if I can help it. I couldn't help it today. I don't even know what kind of reaction she had (if any) for my reply. I know I'm most probably faking it, since I'm a pro at faking almost everything and getting away with it.
I can even act high when I'm not. I think I've perfected the art of patronizing people. Maybe even bring it a notch higher. I always thought I had hit rock bottom.
Today I stand corrected. It's not so much about her. It's more of myself.
Why the hell am I feeling so down now anyway. I shouldn't be. I killed my eyes, making them dead. Dead eyes won't water.
I know it isn't because of her so quit fussing.

And the strange fact that I can somehow cheer most other people up while being down myself isn't helping.
The only reason for you to talk to me would be when you have nobody else to talk to, or in need of a walking paradox such as myself.
Or in the unlikely event that you were somehow cheered up by me, it must have been because you've been through something worse than me, and that speaks volumes.
You most probably would know it too, because I won't get mentioned on your blog or anything, because I'm best described as a condom. Dispose after use.
Or After Sex Throw Condom. ASTC. The trigo stuff. I might as well not sign on to MSN. I might as well throw away my phone, and stop using the computer, because I'm born from a rock and won't need friends.
If I'm going to write a book I'd write about how a machine goes around being other humans' punchbag and emotional rubbish bin.
The twist would come in when the narrator wakes up and finds that he is a mere object, and not treated as a human as he should be. And that the robot is himself in real life.
Man. I love myself for my twists.

Sometimes I hate people. Simply because they are selfish. I'm not selfless, and I won't bother acting ego. They take everything for granted, and throws me into their 'granted' territory, forgetting that I am human.
It doesn't help that I don't bother reminding them either.
Forget it.

If I'm a character in 1984, I'd have perfected 'doublethink'. My mental capacity is as such.

Seriously, I don't think you'd even care if I died today. Of course, I shan't do that just to prove my point. I'm not that stupid. I love myself. That's all that matters(?).

I don't want to go on anymore, not because I don't feel like it, but because even if I did, no one's going to care and I might as well slit my wrist and use blood for letters instead of typing out pixels.

Apologizing for the incoherence of the post. I can't think. I can't think now anyway. Feelings can never emanate from my words, so shut up and get a life.
If you hate reading crap, don't read the above.

I need a shower.

-- 1/03/2008 05:25:00 PM

Name	Riatsala
Occupation	Sexaphonist
How old are you?