| Name | Riatsala |
| Occupation | Sexaphonist |
| How old are you? |
*I changed the colour of the text in this stupid piece of shit as it sorta conked when I was posting. It was originally..pink I think. Other than that, all the text is kept and preserved as it was.*
there was once a girl named Ashley who had a boyfriend named Jack.
Jack was the most popular boy in the school.
The three most popular girls were Courtney, Ashley and Emma.
Jack thought of Ashley as OKAY, but he REALLY liked Courtney.
Courtney liked jack also. Well of course she did, everyone did!
Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Courtney tried to steal Jack away everytime she had a chance to.
One day, Courtney asked Jack if he wanted to go to the movies.
Ashley heard everything....
which movie theatre and what
time.
Ashley approached the movies that night and followed Jack and Courtney.
Ashley sat right behind them.
She watched them get close to each other and
kiss....not only kiss, but practically get it on in the theatre.
Courtney told jack 'Do you want to come to my place and skip this boring movie?'
He replied 'hell yes.'
Ashley had peeked through Courtney's window.
Jack and her were messing around and Ashley watched the whole thing.
The next day at school Ashley wasn't there.
For the next few days Ashley wasn't there.
A week later her mother found her in her closet dead...she commited suicide because she had loved Jack so much.
Next to ashley's dead body was a note.
A note that read:
My dearest Jack,i watched you at the movie and at Courtney's house and
I will continue to watch you. I never thought you would do something like this to me.
I really loved you jack.
I died for you just like Jesus died for us.
Always with you,
Ashley
Please foward this to more
than 15 people or Ashley will haunt you and try to kill you because she wants everyone to know about Courtney.
Thank you.
Please Scroll Down.
'In loving Memory of' **Ashley Halagey**
What ashley did to one person who did not send
this.......
One girl was looking through her e-mail and she deleted this message thinking it was another silly forward...
the next day she was found dead in her bed.
Of course u don't have to send this but I think
Ashley Halagey will come soon to get you like tonight when you are still awake just sitting in bed
Repost this as 'why boyz shouldnt cheat on girls'
or u will lose the one u love......
No, seriously, I get this kind of shit every now and then, as if the Mickey Mouse saga isn't enough of a pain in the ass. This was sent quite a few days back, but I didn't really bother with a debunking of it till now, because I've got better and less painful things to do like carrying people with my ferris wheels. Insider's joke, really.
Anyway, the first point: So who the fuck is Emma? Am I the only one who realized that Emma was mentioned once as one of the more popular girls, but fell out of favour as the 'plot' developed into a love-triangle bullshit akin to those of those K-drama and idol-TV-crappy acting? Never mind, since this email is bullshit, I shan't bother with that point.
Anyway, the 'author' of this chainmail has a pretty fucked command of English. Or rather, her punctuation is shit. I claim that the bullshitter is a girl as girls would want to put up catchy titles such as 'Why boys shouldn't cheat on girls'. I'd imagine the girl as someone who would really kill herself because she broke up with her boyfriend, and that that is the worst thing that could happen to any 40-year old virgins, and so she should simply take the plunge. But before she does that, she needs to get her revenge, and revenge comes in the form of such chainmails. I can really feel her hatred towards males, as can be seen by the 'suicide note' that Ashley left for Jack. Now I'm not religious, but I think that the part about dying for Jack as Jesus did for humans is a bit far fetched, to the point of blasphemous. Now I don't curse people to burn in hell, because flames are enjoyable stuff, but I really hope that the perpetrator would do something to end her life ASAP.
And the 'plot' took a turn to even deeper shit when the author tried to make us sympathize with Ashley and pass this email around to alert others of bitchy women like Courtney, who would stoop to nothing to hiJack. The suicide note made absolutely no mention of Courtney, and so who is the author to base her accusation of the spirit as vengeful when she is actually full of love for Jack? Fucker.
And something interesting to note: I think the example of a gruesome death as depicted in the story as comical. Seriously it is comical if you compare it with the Mickey Mouse shit, which I linked to on my links section as 'Tag, or rape.' Anyway, I feel that Mickey Mouse is a much more spooky thing as compared to Ashley. I think that I can come up with better chainmails, and send them to my rather stupid friends who can't think properly and shoots these emails off to other victims who would then perpetuate the cycle because birds of a feather flock together, therefore senders(who are stupid) would pass the email to receivers(who would be stupid too), who would pass them on to others, and so on. This shows that the Earth is populated by stupid people.
Scary thought, really. I must stress though, some chainmails are meaningful, but for these kind of chainmails with the Sadako-intent, no.
I especially enjoy the last part. 'or u will lose the one u love......'
I can't be bothered counting the exact number of dots, but I love this sentence. I'd presume that by 'the one u love', the author is referring to my hypothetical girlfriend. I don't know about her, but I know I won't be getting girlfriends anytime soon as I'd rather go through asexual reproduction than flash my Eiffel Tower, accompanied by 2 Ferris Wheels.
There you go, that's my answer for the unanswered question above.
Really, I don't have much to lose if that's the case, and so I'd rather wait for Ashley to appear on my bed. She's supposedly popular, right? I might get to have safe sex with her anyway, because ghosts can't transmit any STDs, can't get pregnant, blah blah.
An interesting prospect, really. I won't try to imagine a life after getting screwed by Mickey Mouse, but I can visualize the making of hot, sweet love to Ashley.
But then again this won't ever come true.
I think my friend is really insecure about his love, that's why he sent this chainmail to me. I guess I can't blame him. After all, I'm not wading around in the sea of emotions and so I don't have much of a chance to experience what he's experiencing and I think that there's a need for me to shut up and go sleep as I have quite a bit of homework to chiong tomorrow morning.
Not to forget the sexciting chemistry test. Come to think of it, I never had much of chemistry with anyone.
Sobs.
