11 tips to save money.
Well, the O's have been orgasmic for this whole week. I feel so satiated and thoroughly spent that I don't know why I'm blogging.
Oh wait. I was shitting just now when I thought about saving money.
If you're a rich person, you wouldn't need to read this because you won't even feel the pinch of the electricity price hike of a whopping(or whoooooooping? I forgot) 21%(or 20?).
But if your parents are typical Singaporeans with the kiasu mentality, you might hear them whining and cursing the power plants for sapping so much money on top of the GST-s and ERPs. I somehow feel like something is leeching my parents of my money, and I have a nagging feeling that one of the many reasons is me and my inconsiderate use of the computer(spammage).
If you're like me and would like to atone for your mistakes while maintaining your computer usage, here are some tips by this streetwise inconsiderate shithole of a person:
1) Charge your phone in school. I think that I've saved enough money for my mother to last a lifetime. OK maybe not, but it is a thrill to see your phone getting charged and filled with the love juice from your school. Although it's not really allowed, I always feel strangely happier after my phone gets a full charge in school. I'd bounce around, seriously, and everything bad that happens that day when I get a full charge would be taken in my stride.
Try it! You save...I don't know how much you save each charge, but it's fun and makes you happier, and the thrill is beyond description. It's orgasmic, so why not?
2) Use your phone to play music. Or watch porn. Or solve your need for music and porn simultaneously with the use of 2 phones. Well, it doesn't really save money if you charge your phone at home, but as I mentioned in 1), you bathically play music and watch porn for a grand total of $0. Isn't that orgasmic?
3) Go around hogging power plugs. Even as I type, I'm charging my phone. If you didn't know, I'm at my mum's office, using my sister's laptop, and the air-conditioned room is freezing my fingers. All for a total of $0! See, now you can add 'Using laptops in a place far from home'. Also, you can use your school library for the gratification of your batteries. There's some saying that goes something along the lines of 'Recharge your batteries at so-and-so'. Maybe I made that up, but I take such stuff very literally.
More often than not, it's an elaborate scam. You pay money to charge. On top of that, you have to stay at that area for 150minutes for your phone to charge fully. And you pay for your transportation. Might as well charge at home.
4) Purchase a laptop instead of a desktop. Why? So you can go home, use up your battery, then go somewhere else to charge. How much would that cost? Zilch. OK you need to pay for your laptop, and laptops lag often, but other than that it's an orgasmic feeling, to see your electricity bill.
Better still, you can use other people's wireless internet connection illegally. You don't even need a modem. You save on the modem money, you save on your electricity bill for the use of computers, you save a bloody lot!
5) Nice places like Starbucks, I-don't-know-where-else, and MRT stations all have sockets. Not referring to the ones we have all over our bodies, but the ones with an orgasmic load of electricity potential. You can bring a multi-plug piece of shit and charge your GBA SP, PSP, NDS, laptop, handphone, digi-vice, random rechargeable batteries you use to play your gameboy colour with, blah blah.
I charged my handphone at Raffles Place MRT station once. I think I mentioned before, but for the benefit of those who didn't know, I did that. I wanted to contact my friends, and my phone died because I calculated to get to the Victoria Theatre shit to charge at the backstage(was doing CIP). So when my phone died, I went a bit mad and had to charge there and then. The stares that I invited weren't very friendly. I felt very paiseh, and that says a lot for someone with my hide.
But then again, all for free so why not? Hog lah. They give cake you don't take for what?
6) Go your mum's office. Or your father's. Offices always have sockets and internet connection, which explains my presence online right now. OK maybe you can't play Runescape, because it's been identified as a gaming website which is totally irrelevant to commercial gains and stuff like that, but you get to blog for free. OK I can't go on MSN, but the gains outweighs the costs. OK there aren't any costs at all, so why not?
Oh the exact term my mum's office used to block Runescape:
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But you get free water, hot or cold, your choice. And you can make tea or coffee. You can do anything you like. A lot of sugar, too. They give cake, don't take for what?
7) Go other places to shit. I shit at J8, I shit at my mum's office, I shit all over the place. So why not? I mean, I save my mother's water bills, and toilet paper. And the experience isn't bad.
The only drawback is that the office toilet is big, multi-cubicled, and the door closes with a bang. It always startles me. Then there are hardly any other people around, seeing as I come during weekends only. The loneliness of the toilet would be such that it might pounce on any random males that enters it.
The mere thought is scaring me. I won't dare to shit here at night.
8) Take your showers in places like your school. It's free, you save on your water bills, and you won't need heaters(not provided in schools anyway). Save so much, why not?
Alternately, you can choose to take your showers with your heaters off. It takes awhile to get used to, but ultimately it would mould you into someone of high integrity and robust character, who is passionate about life, learning, and service to others.
Oops. Occupational hazard.
9) I'm running out of iFeas. I still have to last till 10. So, um. Oh ya. You can choose to not on your air-conditioners and shit like that. Being a primitive man, I don't use the air-conditioner installed in my room. It's rather much of a hassle switching it on. I'd rather wank or something. So I won't switch on my own air-conditioner. I think it's going to spoil soon. I'd like that.
One compelling reason why I don't use it is that I like my fan better. Which says a lot about my skin and the treatment it injoys. The brutal lashing of wind on my skin turns me on, rather than some gentle caress of some cold slow-moving air. It didn't really make much sense to me, but whatever.
Also, the funny thing is that humans always cover themselves with blankets because the air-conditioner is cold. I don't see a point in making your environment cold, then insulating yourself against the cold. It's like adding fireplaces in your house, then air-conditioning your room with the fire burning away.
It doesn't make sense. Ah well. Humans hardly make sense anyway. That's the orgasmic part.
10) I ran out. Shit. How? Um. Let my ingenuity fill my entire vessel...
OK. Deep breathing. Ah I got it. People who want to watch porn can save their special stuff into thumbdrives and bring to their school libraries to watch with their friends. Or they can go their friends' house to watch with them.
I really can't imagine a bunch of males wanking to porn together. It disgusts me. And that says a lot. Collective security? Mass orgies more like. I don't like that iFea. Ew.
11) THE SPECIAL TIP! I just thought of it, and it works for orgasmic people. So scroll down because I don't feel like copying and pasting.
OK so those are 10 tips. I hope you'd instill the values of frugality into your lives, and I hope that I've enlightened you lost sheeps on what to do to become better human beings in this lifetime. I am glad to be of service..
That made me feel like some saint. Or the Oracle in Runescape, whose 'Who guards the guardsmen?' invited some Spanish on my tagboard. I forgot which language already. I forgot what it sounded like in that foreign language, too.
OK. I think that I seriously don't act like an O level student. I think I'm effing slack. =.= but I did study lor. Ah well. Things can change one I guess. Effing a lot of C5s and C6s and B4s to convert to A1s. So yea.
But then again I have a thing for staying up late. Especially if some people are online. I don't have to talk to them, but just seeing them online would compel me to stay online, just in case I could be of any enlightening services. Why?
Because I love you.I don't exactly have an answer for that.
I didn't exactly watch the last part of the 9PM show. I regret. Oh ya, watching TV and soccer and stuff like that. For that, you can go watch at kopitiams, Macdonalds, and stuff like that. OK I shall change this post's title to 11 tips to save money. I think I'm dang genius.
I can't be bothered to reply my tagboard people leh. I think that's because it accumulated too much. Ah well. Let it rot.
Here are some thoughts my Pokemon have of me. Well, I'm just going to copy and paste. I forgot which Pokemon said what, but some are very obvious:
Some wild Pokemon frown upon others for traveling with humans. They jeer that the caught Pokemon have 'forgotten the wild.' But that view is mistaken. They have just never met a Trainer who could be a great partner. A great partner like XXXXX, in other words...
XXXX and MILOTIC are alike in some ways. In humanspeak, we match up well. Does XXXX think so, too?
XXXX is very impressive, especially for a human. The Trainer lets MILOTIC use every bit of power properly. It is a shame that XXXX is only a human...
If a Pokemon were to travel along, it would be limited as to where it could go. But traveling with a human, a Pokemon would be able to travel farther afield to more distant cities and lands. Traveling with XXXX has been rewarding and reassuring.
Aww... XXXX only plays with other Pokemon... RIOLU feels neglected... Maybe XXXX doesn't like RIOLU very much? RIOLU will try harder for XXXX. Please be nice to me!
For the RIOLU, I kept making it faint, giving it some bitter shit to revive it, then making it faint again. I don't like its face. I wonder if it'd hate me even more than that.
Oh yea my sis bought the Eason's album. I instigated her to do that. And I like quite a few songs. Which says a lot, because I got good taste. Well, here's one that I played on loop for quite some time: 倒带人生.
I like this part the most, that's why part of this part is up as my nickname:
偶尔想起你
自言自语 点点滴滴
幸福是个秘密
享受却不知情
深夜里重播的旧黑白片
想启示我什么人生真言
我都感激已经很随性已经很随性
如果再做了有没有可能
另一份碗盘是你的
时间不小心停格了
别在意了 会过去的
Here's another: 7. I like the lyrics as a whole, but refer below for the reason why I won't spam lyrics.
Anyway, I think 7 is his favourite number. I prefer 3 though, and you didn't need to know that.
And I won't bother to post lyrics because there really isn't much of a need to do that. It's not like posting it here would make anyone more interested in the song. When I see blog posts with lyrics and purely lyrics, I'd just close the tab. Or the window, then go play Pokemon.
Well that's a rather abrupt ending, and I'm like ending this post now. Hope you injoyed the read.
Shit, I'm obsessed.
-- 10/25/2008 11:56:00 AM
