Be Manly, like me.
Here are some stuff from Pokemon Diamond, which I've been playing for the past few days:
Kirlia, when I first got it:
Others say there are people who aren't very nice to Pokemon. I wonder about XXXXXXXXXX... Will XXXXXXX look after Kirlia nicely? Will I get to go all over with this Trainer? Can we be... Friends?
Then it evolved into Gardevoir:
This adventure with XXXXXX is lots of fun. Gardevoir gets to go places where I can't go by myself. I get to battle pokemon I've never ever seen before. I'm gonna get stronger and stronger for XXXX
And now:
Gardevoir and XXXXX make a perfectly matched combo! I've seen all sorts of people so far... But XXXXXX understands Gardevoir's feelings the most! I'm a little hungry... You can tell, right?
By the way, I XXXXXXXXXXXX-ed away the trainer name because...I'm a pervert and as you could guess, it most probably is the name of a porn star and being reluctant to let others know of this fetish of mine, I'm not naming her.
Oh background information: My Pokemon team, all females. Except for my starter, which I named after myself. I guess I get to injoy a lot, with a chiobu for a trainer and many chio-Pokemon as my...playmates.
Yesterday was hilarious. I forgot whose iFea was it to watch porn in the library via veoh.com, but Gran logged onto his account and we just did it. I've never watched porn with others before, and I've already quit anyway =.= sort of, so I felt a bit weird sitting down there appreciating the pixels that laid bare to me. Then I called my son over for his viewing pleasure, and he was a bit reluctant to move at first, but he respected me as a father and came anyway.
Upon seeing the marvellous stuff, he called his friend over(they were German-ing. I'd rather practise Frenching) and his friend blushed. And yes the friend's a male. He muttered something along the lines of 'First time'. He looked so shy I could've blushed due to the hilariety of the situation.
We were all worried about the librarian and her prowling. Somehow, I felt that she shot a knowing look over to our side, and smiled. Then walked out. Then we got worried that the boys around us would..I don't know, take the cue and make Cat High an even more morally degraded place(quite a feat). Ah well. I was just stoning there. OK I did watch, but heh. Technically it wasn't porn. I'm coming up with excuses for myself and I'm feeli
ng useless enough.
I can't say that I quit porn for 4months already =.=
I think I shall blog about manliness, a topic that has been naggin
g at me for a long time. Like, when I'm shitting at J8 I'd be thinking of how manly I am and how testosterone oozes out from me even though that's nearly biologically impossible. But then again, impossible is nothing.
I made daily observation on men that I feel are very manly(I monitor myself. A lot) and I came to this conclusion:
1) Real men brush their teeth only once per day.
2) Real men take a shower only once a day.
3) Real men shit everyday.
4) Real men leave goatees(though it ain't shaved) till the eve of O levels.
5) Real men are egotistic. They go around blogging about how manly they are.
6) Real men fart out loud. (Updated on 18.10.08)
5 is a healthy number. So I guess I'd end what I see in myself as a m
an there, and proceed to what I need to achieve to be a better real man. This is my definition of a real man, and your definition can be something along the lines of 'must be cute, skinny, good-looking, clean and shaven, no smell, skinny jeans, blah blah blah...'
But this is my definition and I'm always correct:
1) There's no need to speak. One look from a man and others know what to do, how to react, blah blah blah. Even if the golden mouth has to open, he is concise. The 'strong silent type'.
2) Is in control of every situation. Not agitated or otherwise affected by anything else, he sets the pace and follows it. No one can disrupt his thoughts.
3) Doesn't need to tell the girl he admires that he likes her. His, um, uhfection can be felt without the use of words.
4) Knows the difference between manliness and sloppiness. Like, he can go place lik
e Orchard in slippers. And in random shirts and pants he woke up in. Then just go out like that. Yet he knows when to dress up properly, like to proper functions and
all.
5) Doesn't have to be too neat, but is able to find his stuff easily. Like provision shop uncle like that. I can't do the second part =.= where's my notes, where'd my chem textbook go, etc etc.
Ah once again, 5 is a healthy number.
And for people who exhibit the 5 qualities mentioned above:
For point 1, there are the Strawhat pirates =.= at least when they're about to fight.
And for the other points, I don't know anymore =.=
Here are a few stars, just for your reference:
Keanu Reeves.
He has a tragic story, his pregnant girlfriend died in a car crash and his sister is dying of cancer(at least she was a few years back). I remember one picture my sister showed me of him in a very rotten state, with an unkempt beard and stuff like that. Sloppy lah, but he cou
ld
It's OK to wallow in self-pity over the fairness of Life(maybe even
Sexy), but he's here simply because his hair is short. As you people already know, I'm against long-haired guys.
Oh another thing about him: He's the strong, silent type, too. Lo
ok at his facial expressions when he acts. He's like a block of wood. That's a quality in real men, too. I can't be bothered to scroll up and add that in now. Why is being a block of wood good? Bec
ause people around you won't know what you're thinking or how you're feeling. Then they won't go horsing around. Win already.
Although I've never felt that good looks mix well with manliness, I can't think of someone more appealing than him(my mum and sis loves him even though I can't see how handsome he is). And I don't like Bae Yong Jun(I only remembered Bae, the other 2 we
re crapped up, phonetic equivalent, don't know how true)because he's rather much of a porn star.
I seriously don't know much about Daler Mehndi. But because Terence loves him, and Terence is rather much of a man in his own right(despite his lack of hair), I respect his taste in men.
You can see how crazy he is. I like zi-high people. And guys who act
cute even though they aren't cute, who are thick-skinned, blah blah. So yea. Here's an example. Maybe all Indian singers are like that, but anyway this is a real man.
Another real man, although I don't really see eye to eye with him for keeping his wife waiting for a long time because some random fengshui master told him to. But once again, at least his hair is short:
Here are some negative examples:
DOES THIS LOOK REMOTELY LIKE A MAN?! FUCKKKKKKK WHAT'S THE WORLD COMING TO?! What an eyesore. Even typing 3 sentences below it and seeing his eyes gives me the creeps. I don't even know why I'm giving myself such visual torture by digging up the ugly side of humanity, but I feel impelled to enlighten you people about the perils of media on youths.
That negative example is Danson, Tang Yu Zhe. I feel the creeps just typing out his name.
Here's another one:
Some Korean person. Lee Jun Ji. I remember he acted in the 王的男人, and I felt myself turning gay. He's scary.
Yet another negative example:
I can just see how manly he is with that flower sticking from his ear.
He disgusts me. What an eyesore. Does he even have any protrusion? Eww. I don't even want to think about it.
Yan Ya Lun. Brrrr.
I can name many more negative examples. But there's too many. There's no point. There are hardly any more real men in the world of celebrities, because real men aren't glamourous enough. I don't see glamour as an attribute to being manly.
The people I posted about are all good-looking right? Supposedly, at least. That's because looks is like the most important factor in starhoodism. If you don't got the looks, you don't got the personality, and you don't got good grammar.
I hate guys who love their hair more than their lives.
I hate males who hog onto basins. I remember walking into the toilet and after excreting all my urine, went to wash my hands(duh), and the guy who was
playing with his hand before I entered was still stoning there, styling his hair slowly, slowly, like he's got all the time in the world.
OK, but get out of the way lah, I need to wash hands one.
Besides, who're you trying to attact in Cat High? If you're gay then you'd do such stuff.
How can one derive confidence from something as superficial as hair? Urgh. Such people would get their asses owned in NS.
'Oh, I'm bald..I can never see the light again..'
While people like me would be like
'Ooh, free haircut.'
To express my gratitude to them for affirming my manliness, and my hatred to them for destroying the name of men, here's to them:
Gayshits.
-- 10/12/2008 11:25:00 PM