Fark you.
I was in the lecture theatre just now and I farted out loud. I don't exactly know why the people around me were so averse to the bomb I set, but they started defying gravity(I've always thought I was the centre of the universe. No wait, I am.)
So I was left alone with a 5-seat radius in nearly all directions except for the front(Julian blurred).
Then I was sitting alone there, thinking about life and A. Maths.
Isn't farting a natural occurrence? So people around me were saying stuff like 'You should go somewhere else to fart lah!' Or something along those lines. I was quite disgusted by that comment. It seemed to imply that there are right places to sneeze, to cough, to yawn, and to breathe.
Does that sound reasonable? No.
If you're breathing with me in the lecture theatre, if you can yawn loudly, if you can cough and sneeze like no one else is there, why can't you fart?
Just because farting stinks? OK, fart stinks, but what germs/viruses are in there? I know I can catch a cold from some other persons' cough/sneeze, but I don't know a shit about catching farts or any disease from someone else's release of flatulence.
I watched this drama serial many months back, and I remember Tay Ping Hui and Huang Bi Ren acted in it. Some show about marriagel, and the show name escapes me. There was this scene in which the two of them were inside a lift with 2 random neighbours, and Tay Ping Hui farted.
Then the show flashed something along the lines of 'Men farts an average of 12 times, women only 7'. I can't remember the exact figures, but it was along those lines.
Point? Males fart more.
Therefore, I can conclude that I'm a male, through and through, and the manliest of all the males around me, who fart but are too shy to admit they do.
I don't see people trying to cover up their coughs. One of the reasons is because they can't, but no one seems too apologetic about releasing a mind-blowing load of viruses and amylase into his/her surroundings. Neither do people feel embarrassed by their sneezes.
So why be apologetic and embarrassed over your fart?
I mean, your body created that flatulence and as the owner, you should be proud. There's nothing to be ashamed of, after all. People who try to fart as quietly as they can, then blame it on someone else, well that's the worst kind of human being to be a friend with.
I can't say how proud I am to be able to fart out loud. I think that there should be a new acronym, FOL.
People who dare to FOL are normally the most truthful and honest of the lot, because they don't try to cover up for what others perceive as a societal taboo.
There is never a wrong place to fart at. I don't see why some people view themselves as beings of higher moral values just because they don't fart when people are around. That's just bullshit. You're not being considerate when you catch a cold and not wear a mask either. Nor are you being considerate by blocking the roads of others when you walk. Nor are you being a considerate person to drivers when you cross the road even when the green man is on.
The examples cited above doesn't make sense. So does the notion of 'I am holier because I don't fart'.
I can't emphasize with mere words on how proud I am of Mother Nature for granting me this ability to let wind off my anus.
But now I know of this very useful biological weapon which I can use to clear places around me should I need some time alone.
It says a lot about the quality of males around me.
And the fact that they would run away when I fart, that truly is disconcerting.
There was this case in China or something, in which a woman fell into some sewage thing. The people around her just looked at her and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and you got my point. They didn't go up to help her, but the most kind-hearted of the onlookers called the police or something. Basically they just left her there to rot and stink and left the job of pulling her out of the shit to the police.
Linking back to why I feel disturbed--I can't rely on these people. If I were to get into deep shit(literally), they wouldn't bother to try to pull me out. Sobs. They would just run away and get help because 'It's too smelly'.
Just joking.
But Terence(again) is a male I respect in this aspect in life. He farts out loud. I think I'm more or less inspired by his actions. He'd go up to you 'Eh wait. Keep quiet', then fart in your face. Very loud some more.
A man. Seriously a man.
Anyway, some woman sent me a message on Friendster. I find her weird.
This is what they use to find me:
Hobbies and Interests:
sex, alcohol, drugs, gba, anal-ing people on their birthdays, tau pok
I made my account a female because I am a pervert. So this woman sent this message:
hey girl. i have a 17 year old guy friend who is looking for a girl to spend the nigh with. he is available on saturday or sunday night 18 and 19 ocotber(sic), and he is willing to pay $50 for a great sex experience. interested? message me back here
http://profiles.friendster.com/user.php?uid=79090945
That is the supposed woman who sent me that message. Upon further inspection, I realized that she had a lot of female friends, some which might be chio. If I were to search for soft porn I'd refer to friendster. Thanks, Sheryl Tan.
So who wants to have sex with her guy friend? It's $50, it should be worth it. Interested parties just tell me, SMS and I help you get to know this woman. I demand $25 because I am a pimp.
=.=
I am losing hope in humanity. First they defy nature(as illustrated vividly by farts). Then they indulge in carnal pleasures. Oh, the world is going to the dogs.
I updated on the Manliness post, adding the farting thing to one of the many factors which define men.
And here's an interesting video. I don't think any of you can view it though. http://www.veoh.com/videos/v923633kkSpeMDf
It's fun.
And having played Pokemon for some time...
If a Pokemon is treated as a friend, it will return the sentiments. We grow fonder of humans that treat us with kindness... Does XXXXX even like MILOTIC?
If I said there can be friendship between Pokemon and people, will GARDEVOIR'S friends understand? But if you see XXXX and GARDEVOIR, you will understand. Because XXXXX and GARDEVOIR are friends!
Humans can't understand the cries of Pokemon, nor our feelings. However, there are some among us that understand human speech... Hehehe, XXXXX, you're not bad for a human.
I think some got updated already, but heck.
-- 10/18/2008 05:46:00 PM
