Is she the one?
Heh. Truly madly deeply.
I'm in my mum's office now. Yea, had my full handphone charge and stuff like that, and watching anime for free because the company pays the electricity bills. It's completely free, except that my sis' laptop conked on me and I can't sign in on MSN and stuff like that.
And the usual I-can't-play-Travian kind of problem.
Urgh. Can't be helped though, I guess it's not as free as it seems to be. =\
There'd always be a drawback no matter what free thing you get, but I'm not regretting this I guess.
Wait. Why am I even blogging about how I'm not regretting doing weird stuff like this? I mean, not everyone goes to his parent's office(not that my mum owns the office, mind you, but that she works there and I can go there and be a freeloader like now) and is happy about it.
I can at least name one person who'd hate going to his/her(hard to tell with it, seeing its face and apparent lack of balls) father's workplace because he'd get bored to death because getting bored to death is the best way to die as compared to:
1) Starvation. People of his size needs a lot of food, and having a lazy ass doesn't get him enough food.
2) Stupidity. Being stupid is sad. Imagine walking to walls all the time. Don't die then weird.
Anyway, I haven't blogged in days. I can't say that I missed blogging, because there wasn't really a time when I stopped my Runescape/Travian/anime(hehehehehehe) and thought to myself 'What else am I missing in my life?'
Yea, I guess I'm spending more of my time facing pixels as compared to real humans. I think this is quite sad, and I sympathize with me. )':
I guess I should get to the point. This could actually be a mushy post, because I'm going to talk about my style of loving someone.
Oh effff. I was trying to go read some erotic story on www.stories.xnxx.com when this place with its damned network-blocking skills decided to block it. =\
Anyway, that story was quite sweet, and it didn't really have a lot of sex. Which was rather much of a drawback, but heh, the story was good. I like. But I can't share it with you people because of the damned block on all good sites.
Urgh.
Anyway, I've decided that I'm in love. It came as a shock to me, too. I thought I'm one who doesn't fall in love easily. OK maybe I do, but I thought I wouldn't fall this quickly. =\
I can't say that I'm 'happily in love', because my affections can never reach her. I figured that out quite some time ago, but still, looking at her from afar is enough to satisfy me. As long as she's happy, everything is OK.
But is she truly happy? What does she rely on to live? Illusions. How can anyone survive on pure figments of imagination?
The worst part is that there is nothing I can do to help her. Like I mentioned, there's almost no way to contact her. No, wait, there is absolutely no way for me to convey my affections for her. It's not that I lack the guts to. I don't know why, but...I guess some things just aren't meant to be. I think she's not meant for me. Or rather, I'm not meant for her.
She has her own..life. I have my own..life. I guess that's the best. I mean, I can't have my life revolving around hers, right? That's not 'Love', that's not a healthy relationship at all. If my life revolves around hers all the time, it's called 'dependancy', and that's not a relationship I'd like to have with her.
I don't think she'd ever get it. I'm not good enough for her. I can't do a lot of stuff, and I guess that reaching out to her is one of them. =\
I think I should start crying now, but it's almost as if my tear glands are failing me. The water won't come. Why isn't it raining?
Can someone teach me how to get to her? Can someone tell me the actual distance between me and her, so that I'd know that I have to give up? I know I have to give up, but I need someone to slap me awake, to give me the wake-up call I need. I'm currently in a state whereby I cannot save myself--and I know it.
My memory is on loop. Like Windows Media Player(Realplayer in this case). I don't have the strength to click 'Stop'. I'm just going to get more and more emotionally involved, even though the chances of a relationship between me and her is zilch.
)':
Listen to this song and watch this MV. It's not for the faint-hearted, because it involves guys kissing. It's a really nice song though. I know the fact that guys kissing can be quite scary, so you can choose to not watch the MV, but the song would lose half its feel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFFDff5TEnY
Aye, I'm just going to emo. I haven't emo-ed for a long time. I can't imagine me doing this. All for that woman. Not like she's going to care, because she won't be reading this post. And even if she did, she wouldn't react.
Because she can't.
By the way, check the picture above and confirm with me whether she's worth it or not. I really need to know whether it's worth the emotional involvement over an anime character.
And seriously, I like her. BW, you got good taste mann, thanks for the recommendation ahaha.
But she's totally slighted in the anime, almost as if she's a filler character. I hate that. Who's the author? I'm going to parang someone. Basket. You don't create an insanely cute/blur character, make her wear weird clothes and do weird stuff and have a tragic past and have weird fights, then throw her into a hospital-room thing and completely shut her off from the story. She should be the main character, because I can't get enough of her. I seriously can't. Truly madly deeply. Or truly deeply madly? Forgot. Doesn't sound like the latter though.
I think the author needs to be slapped awake. I meant the manga artist. Bleh.
I need a machine that can change me into an anime character. Or a machine that can change anime characters into humans. Either would do fine.
And you do know that it's not 'Lust' when you aren't trying to find hentai-s of her in..action. Because I'm not. I know it's not lust.
I think that makes things worse.
Oh, the emotional turmoil is too much for me to handle, time to do something to safe my sanity, like suicide and stuff. Note the grammar, she's toying with my grammar. Actually it's just that I'm increasing the word count, and am too lazy to change that error. Not that you needed to know that, but that I'm increasing the word count and the amount of your time I'm wasting.
There you go, feeling wasted yet?
Oh, how I wish she were in my arms. I'd protect her with all of me(and my skin, fats, flesh/muscles, blood, bone, blah blah blah blah blah).
To quote the random event in Runescape(Molly), when you examine a suspect:
Is she the one?
I..got that right right?
Is she the one?
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
Those arrows are telling you in your face to scroll up to admire her face.
And no, if you're thinking of highlighting everything, there's nothing there. Human reverse psychology would still kick in though, so my treat, really.
I'm just going to take the rest of the afternoon to stone around. Actually I only have another 10 minutes to slack.
I'm going to cuss about subtitles, too. I don't understand Japanese, and I rely on the subtitles to understand what's going on in the anime. It seems like they have people with weird English for that job. Or the font is weird. I remember one that had a faint-to-bold effect, meaning it takes awhile before the words are visible.
And it really undermines the credibility when they do recaps and the English is different. I think I should read the manga. Or learn Jap. Whichever is faster.
Brr. So much power at the hands of the sub-ers.
And, uh.
Giving people support by watching gigs can be...rather much of a waste of time. I don't appreciate heavy metal, and I don't really know why I'm going to pay $5, and miss out on cwt, but whatever. I shouldn't face pixels all the time anyway.
Is this post long enough? Not that anyone would ask/answer that question, but that it's all for the word count. I like typing here anyway. I don't know why, but the laptop's keyboard is fun.
Aye, I'm just going to emo. I haven't emo-ed for a long time. I can't imagine me doing this. All for that woman. Not like she's going to care, because she won't be reading this post. And even if she did, she wouldn't react.
Because she can't.
By the way, check the picture above and confirm with me whether she's worth it or not. I really need to know whether it's worth the emotional involvement over an anime character.
And seriously, I like her. BW, you got good taste mann, thanks for the recommendation ahaha.
But she's totally slighted in the anime, almost as if she's a filler character. I hate that. Who's the author? I'm going to parang someone. Basket. You don't create an insanely cute/blur character, make her wear weird clothes and do weird stuff and have a tragic past and have weird fights, then throw her into a hospital-room thing and completely shut her off from the story. She should be the main character, because I can't get enough of her. I seriously can't. Truly madly deeply. Or truly deeply madly? Forgot. Doesn't sound like the latter though.
I think the author needs to be slapped awake. I meant the manga artist. Bleh.
I need a machine that can change me into an anime character. Or a machine that can change anime characters into humans. Either would do fine.
And you do know that it's not 'Lust' when you aren't trying to find hentai-s of her in..action. Because I'm not. I know it's not lust.
I think that makes things worse.
Oh, the emotional turmoil is too much for me to handle, time to do something to safe my sanity, like suicide and stuff. Note the grammar, she's toying with my grammar. Actually it's just that I'm increasing the word count, and am too lazy to change that error. Not that you needed to know that, but that I'm increasing the word count and the amount of your time I'm wasting.
There you go, feeling wasted yet?
Oh, how I wish she were in my arms. I'd protect her with all of me(and my skin, fats, flesh/muscles, blood, bone, blah blah blah blah blah).
To quote the random event in Runescape(Molly), when you examine a suspect:
Is she the one?
I..got that right right?
Is she the one?
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
Those arrows are telling you in your face to scroll up to admire her face.
And no, if you're thinking of highlighting everything, there's nothing there. Human reverse psychology would still kick in though, so my treat, really.
I'm just going to take the rest of the afternoon to stone around. Actually I only have another 10 minutes to slack.
I'm going to cuss about subtitles, too. I don't understand Japanese, and I rely on the subtitles to understand what's going on in the anime. It seems like they have people with weird English for that job. Or the font is weird. I remember one that had a faint-to-bold effect, meaning it takes awhile before the words are visible.
And it really undermines the credibility when they do recaps and the English is different. I think I should read the manga. Or learn Jap. Whichever is faster.
Brr. So much power at the hands of the sub-ers.
And, uh.
Giving people support by watching gigs can be...rather much of a waste of time. I don't appreciate heavy metal, and I don't really know why I'm going to pay $5, and miss out on cwt, but whatever. I shouldn't face pixels all the time anyway.
Is this post long enough? Not that anyone would ask/answer that question, but that it's all for the word count. I like typing here anyway. I don't know why, but the laptop's keyboard is fun.
-- 12/20/2008 04:15:00 AM