CataLessons.
This is a post filled with regret, remorse, resolve.
Travian madness once more.
I've been playing on S4, and I think I played quite well and climbed quite fast, but because I attacked a guy from a very big alliance, the alliance members and leaders and co-leaders, and wings are coming after me.
I feel quite useless being unable to protect my capital well, because...
Which is why I find things scary these days. I've grown so attached to the computer, and virtual stuff, that I begin to feel for them, and not be as involved with my family members. I believe that this is true for most teenagers--they forget about the real life they lead and the family members and relations between family members.
I do believe that I've been neglecting my family members, too. I'm always on the computer when I'm at home. Is this the effect of technology?
And things are really weird for people. I remember going home thinking about playing travian, what to upgrade next, what's best for my village, who to attack and who to not attack, and stuff like that. And I was thinking--what a fun game travian is, and how addictive it is. I have plans on quitting travian, especially because school is starting soon. I don't think that I have the energy to stay on travian anymore, seeing as how tough the going can get.
If you're not playing 24/7, you're not playing at all. That's what travian is like, and that's what I can't afford when school reopens.
Anyway, I think I can see that my capital would be rather battered after the attacks, and I can see that a lot of stuff would happen =\
Reminds me of Runescape. What if my Runescape account got deleted? What would happen to my years of training? Is there a point in playing such a game then? But my worries here are unduly.
Maybe I should seriously go out and get a life. I'm lacking one. I must kick this gaming addiction.
I remember telling my mum that I only play the computer because I'm bored. It doesn't seem to be the case now--I'm always playing the computer. I can't leave the computer even if I'm not bored. I know that many people are already past this stage of gaming, where they realize that they've been wasting their lives stoning in front of screens waiting for stuff to happen, but please remember that I'm an immatured boy. I do believe that even if I play travian after this series of attack, I wouldn't play until so hiong.
Because when you spend a lot of time on something, you'd actually develop a kind of bond with it, like duh, and dependency. The dependency part is something that not many people can grasp. I didn't use to think that I was dependent on the computer, but my flashes of anger at my computer for failing to start earlier on was proof that I am dependent on the computer, no matter what I say. Seeing as things are, it's time to move on from my shell of an existence and grow up.
This sounds like a post full of resolve, but I know that Runescape would be back on the cards later on. I mean, it's already on the cards. And what's most disturbing is the fact that this is an entire post on my gaming addiction. I've always tried to deny that I'm not an addict, but as things are, I know that I am. If I am going to huddle in one corner and cry because of one game, it sure is an indicator of gaming addiction. Not that I'm going to huddle in one corner and cry, but that I'm feeling like it.
Feeling like it and not doing it makes things worse actually, I know that I'd feel better if I were to go to bed now and cry myself to sleep over pixels that don't matter at all, but hey, I've already formed some form of a bond with it. You can't blame me =\
I'm glad that Kaisheng is willing to throw all his troops to death by reinforcing me with his troops and stuff.
I hope to change all these on Server6, where I'd play more defensively =\
Ah, my heart goes out for my villages on Server4. Come to think of it, I must admit that there's some form of humour left in me. I changed the village name under heavy attack to 'Cata-ed'. You think it's funny? I think so too.
Big fish eat small fish, small fish eat shit. Unfortunately I'd have to eat shit =\
It's never good to be too attached to anything in the world. I remember this book I read 4 years ago, about militants trying to liberate Africa from the white men. This quote remains in my memory, because I find it damn(note the use of damn and not dang) true:
To love is to be drawn into time. Everything is pervaded by mortality.
Pervaded by or with? It remains a mystery..
I love a lot of things. That's why I'm aware that they would disappear some day. I guess that's a part of the package.
I don't want to be so drawn into a game that I spend hours on it and miss out on the finer points in life. Why should I sacrifice everything else for pixels? I have a lot of other things to do. Perhaps I should really get out and start doing voluntary CIP.
Whoa. And I thought that I'd be having a good new year. =\
Maybe it's a blessing in disguise--I learnt not to play so much?
Question is, did I really learn? After all, it was I who stayed up till 5AM to watch after my travian account. I don't know what to say anymore. It's time to change. And I hope that I can.
By the way, cata = catapults. The only unit in travian that can destroy buildings. Which means that the effect can be very disastrous. Not that I can do anything about it, seeing as I have a very low troop count =\
-- 1/30/2009 01:45:00 AM
