Bring Your Own Trolley Day.
I think that 95.8FM is interesting. They were discussing on shopping trolleys, the kind which you insert a 1-dollar coin to free it for use.
A trolley like that costs $130. Doing my maths, I can conclude that it would greatly benefit my economically, as I'd have gained a profit of $129 every time I grab one of those.
Being a black-hearted man, why not? If I, uh, borrow without returning a trolley a day, I would not have to work at all.
Let's say your monthly salary is $3.1K.
That would be around 100bucks everyday for hours spent in front of the computer, staring at pixels and digits from 9-5.
Isn't that a bore?
Compare that with a trolley-'borrowing' man. He grabs a trolley, and perhaps buy some grocery(because it's convenient anyway, seeing as he won't be returning the trolley), and makes off with the trolley, leaving the supermarket to wallow in its own self-pity.
Then he can go home, with the trolley and the grocery still inside the trolley, and sleep. Booze. Wake up and Travian. Restaurant City. Runescape. Sleep some more. Wake up. Goes to the supermarket. And the cycle repeats.
Of course this is provided he can sell the trolleys at $130.
Which makes me wonder how trolley-producing companies earn their keep. You see, there is around 100 such missing-trolley cases per year in Singapore. Or at least that's the figure for one supermarket, I forgot. Which means that you add up and stuff and you can come up with a rather modest amount.
Let's cap this number of missing trolleys at 500. Which means that there is around a loss of 500 trolleys per year in Singapore.
How can a company earn from 500*130 per year? What's there to earn? OK, perhaps the trolleys are imported, so they have other markets to sell to. However, this number is limited. I mean, there's only so much a company can buy and hold, right? There's hardly any point in buying 1million trolleys for like, say, one of the 2 branches of Carrefour in Singapore. Not sure how you spell it but yeah.
In times of recession, one would think of ways to earn a quick buck. Supermarkets are always viewed in the bigger, more powerful, got money, should fleece, kind of light. So trolley companies and people are always out to fleece them, be it by theft or sextortion, as people believe in the spirit of Robin Hood.
I don't know if it's already being practised, but I think that trolley companies should encourage people to steal trolleys. Monetary incentive always works, making the average man quit his original job to lop onto the steal-trolley-get-$129bucks-and-get-more-incentives-from-trolley-company kind of job. Which would rock.
Let's say he gets 5 bucks for every borrowed trolley. That'd be $134 fucking dollars, which is a lot per trip.
Why bother smuggling drugs when there's such a safe way to earn money?
If you get caught along the streets, you could just say 'Oh I asked the counter people already, they let me because I'm sick =\' and give that wistful face and look innocent and then you're safe and $134 richer.
You can't say the same for drugs. 'I, uh, woke up with them in my pants. I don't know why are they there.'
And by kouping trolleys, you're helping with the Robin Hood cause. No, it's not like supermarkets are fleecing us, or are evil and stuff, but because you think that you're less-privileged(which is probably true), and so you..sobs..have to do this and not work your ass of for money like every other loser has to.
With such moral superiority, what's there that stands in the way of trolley-kouping?
Nothing until one becomes rich himself. Living off supermarkets sounds like fun, and I'd love to sexperience it one day, but what if you realized that you could actually set up your own trolley company, except that you don't have to manufacture any trolleys--you could simply steal, and sell back what you stole to your victims. That'd be great! And you could always employ the help of others to help expand your business and the income and output of trolleys.
Transport companies also use this idea of trolleys to transport goods. Lorries cease to be lorries, they are simply the motor of a long chain of trolleys which can transport goods, and thus you can shift houses with those. Trains are no longer made up of carriages/compartments/whatever fancy name you have, but are substituted with trolleys.
And no this time I'm not joking. Someone used 3 shopping trolleys to shift houses. Quite epic.
Moving on, others start to wise up and they all start their own businesses, and the Robin Hood cause is long-forgotten. They no longer have a common goal(which is to fleece and help each other when in poverty), because they are no longer in poverty. Then the fight for territory and trolleys commences and blah until the supermarkets decide to stop using trolleys altogether, leaving the commoners to live and die by themselves through the grotesque way of getting crushed by goods they are trying to purchase because Singaporeans always bite off more than they can chew.
Then the market for trolleys crashes, as there is no longer a demand for it because all the supermarkets do not use trolleys anymore. All the hoarded trolleys are sold at a dirt-cheap price, and recession sets in.
Why bother going through all these when you can just work for your own keep?
Don't be this lazy. Bring your own push-cart.
I'm not complaining about the Singapore culture by the way. I do recognize the flaws of Singapore's gracious society, but I do understand that there's no point complaining. Complaining is another Singapore culture.
I am immersed in this culture. There is no point ridiculing it, because I am Singaporean after all, and proud to be. There are always the extreme cases, like the one above, but there are nice and gentlemanly Singaporeans too(such as myself).
I think that Singaporeans are quite gutsy, to be honest. You don't see such balls from other people in other countries.
Take for example the pushing that occurs during rush hours. The people who are supposedly more high-classed, or foreigners who are not steeped in Singapore culture, would stand behind, be gentlemanly(stupid), and stone and wait for the others to squeeze in before attempting to enter, only to have the doors close on them, leaving them to wait for the next train and for the same scenario to repeat.
If they got the point, they would become kiasu themselves. If they haven't, then they are being stupid. If they got pissed, but they do not become kiasu themselves, then they are being hypocrites.
Which is why I think that Singaporeans are gutsy. They dare to fight for their own rights. Or at least, these kind of rights. The 'I paid 55cents for a train ride so I will not yield' kind. Which isn't too bad. You don't see such stuff happening.
It has never pissed me off before. I am more or less amused. I understand the need to stand closer to the people in front when trying to squeeze into a train, but I won't be like pushing.
To quote the Hossan Leong song 'It's not perfect living, but at least it's interesting'.
Uhh. Yeah.
-- 5/21/2009 09:21:00 PM
