Hike in civilization.
We hear about people wanting to 'be himself' all the time. But how often can one be true to oneself?Society is run by, more or less, conformity, and it remains a fact that people who are not self-reliant and booze all day long are shunted by society. Like, who the fuck wants to go near somebody who reeks of stale beer and isn't employed and most probably unshaved and unkempt?
There is hardly space for 'individuality' in societies, so it is impossible to 'be yourself'. Who are you, really? And more importantly, who really cares about who are you? The way I see things, humans are judged by usefulness in interrelationships with other humans. The only currencies a human can have which attracts other humans to him are like 'Humour', 'Care and concern', and basically that's about it. Perhaps the 'Fun and adventurous' could kick in, too.
But people make friends for a reason. It could be that they don't want to appear to be antisocial, it could be that they don't want to feel lonely, it could be so many things. A friend is there just to satisfy the user's needs. In a way, 'Friends for sale' on Facebook makes sense here. Friends are bought and sold, and in a way it shows the choices of the person purchasing his friends--If I only had enough money to buy one, I'd buy my best friend instead.
There is a level of prioritisation in a human's social circle. Like, 'I want to talk to someone more than someone'. In Travian terms, it'd be like 'I want to protect this village more than this other village because it's of strategic importance/9c/15c'. Friendship, in a way, is very business-like. You talk to the people you deem more important to you, and the rest who are more of acquaintances are shunted.
I tend to have this fetish of saying stuff out loud even though it's more or less a social taboo. It's like people don't talk about this openly. And before I go on I must declare that my post isn't against anyone or anything, it's not sparked by any events in my life recently. It was just me musing on my thinking chair(toilet bowl) when I realized that there is no such thing as being yourself in this world.
As said, friends are only tools which are judged according to usefulness. As a child, I doubted my sight when I read the saying that goes 'A friend in need is a friend indeed'. Even then, I thought of the severe repercussions this would have on stupid people. Imagine the magnitude and frequency of swindling that were to occur if everyone believed in that.
The concept of 'Favour' is quite misleading too. It becomes more of a trade of emotional debt, and also a form of psychological warfare. You don't do things for others because you want to help him/her, you do it because you want the recipient of your 'kindness' to do something for you in the near future when you call for it/when you have any need for anything.
Should anyone blackmail you into doing anything for them simply because you owe him a 'favour', I have 2 words for you: Stay away.
But even if that someone doesn't blackmail you, you'd feel emotionally indebted to that person. Your mind would go like 'Hmm he helped me out of this before, so I should probably do this shit'.
The question here would be 'How many people are really true in helping out?'
There are no friends, only tools, and humans enjoy using each other. Because like I said, interdependency is what humans strive for. If I rely on you, I am a parasite, and no one wants emotional attachment, or in fact any form of attachment, to a parasite.
Like an old tool which has never failed you, you might feel the same way to your old friends, that you don't want to lose them. Because you know that you can rely on them and that feeling is mutual. I guess that's trust--that you know you can make them work for you, and that they could make you work for them. Trust lies in that interdependency between humans.
So..yea.
And like I said about 'being yourself', conformity is the basic rule of society. You conform to societal norms, and you are no longer 'being yourself'. If everyone yearns to be 'himself', we'd be seeing more intense public display of affections. People would be humping and getting all over each other on MRTs, which isn't that bad a thing actually because I'd get my free show.
I remember a case of a guy getting a blowjob from his girlfriend on the bus(and got caught, that's why it's called a case). I guess that guy is truly 'being himself', but it's not socially acceptable(nor legal), so in short...
he screwed up. Being yourself isn't that sought-after in society. This is proven in computers and systems as such. They don't have any deviations. They have a set norm. They work together to allow me to type out these pixels and upload them onto blogger. If they had any 'individuals', blogger might screw up on me, my keyboard could PMS all over me, and my mouse might be busy copulating to allow me to click.
To be able to be true to yourself in whatever you do? What constitutes being true to yourself?
Like, you do and say whatever you like? Or is there a deeper meaning to it? I'm not very sure either. Onoz, guess I've always been lying to myself.
Aiya, all in all, it's impossible to 'be yourself' because of social inhibitions and the ones you impose on yourself. You might inhibit yourself by thinking 'If I do this, my friends won't like me =\' when it's not true. A hypothetical form of social inhibition, and I'm thinking that this is what everyone tells everyone else to 'be yourself' about.
But one has to realize that should the preached change inherently because of the preacher, the preached isn't really acting on his own accord, is he? It just means that the preached has been, well, preached, and thus persuaded(goaded) into 'being himself'. How can a person persuaded to 'be himself' be himself then?
Which reminds me of those 'Be yourself Day' schools normally have to tell students that 'It's OK, we don't give a fuck about what you wear to school for one day, but don't reveal too much flesh and no tattoos and no miniskirts and no slippers and no...'
Face it, we're all students. To 'be ourselves' would be to be students. So just turn up for school in your own school uniform, why bother the fuck about such frivolous bullshit?
I'd just say that be comfortable with what you are and what you do. Or 'be natural' but that borders on being 'yourself'.
Walked the long road out of Eden with 2 of my tools yesterday. Yesterday meaning 18.6.09. Long road meaning from Parkway to Suntec City. Was walking along the beach, then the park, then the road got cut off by a construction site. We, uh, forgot to take the bus 36, so we had to walk. And we got lost in the concrete jungle in the middle of nowhere, and there was a tunnel(used by cars, duh) which led to nowhere in sight.
Here's a picture:
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So yea. And then we ended up having to walk along the expressway, and that was scary because I was recently informed that I've been cursed, and that I'd die of a freak accident. I was also the lagging strand, meaning the tool that was the most behind. And the cars just whirred by like nobody's business(OK it is nobody's business indeed), and I could feel the wind the cars create as they whizz-jizz past me. Around 20minutes on the expressway before we found the pedestrian sidewalk.
It was scary. But sexhilarating all the same.
Yea so we got to Suntec after like 2hours of walking around. It was a great relief when we finally found civilization though. The concrete jungle was rather much like a normal jungle please, it's like there are cars, but cars don't talk. There are lampposts, but they don't converse. There are roads, but they are treacherous. Even though we were in civilization already, it's just a different form of a jungle.
The cold steel knows not to talk. Come to think of it, it can't anyway.
When we got to Suntec City, we marveled at the number of pedestrian rules we broke. We hunted for 7-11 it's a store and more before getting on the MRT ride home. It was tiring and time-consuming but..
fucking fun.
-- 6/19/2009 12:43:00 AM