400th post.
There are people who are just not liked. I remember coming across a Jap song with lyrics along the lines of how 'Everyone is born to be loved'. That is utter bullshit.Have you met someone in your life that you just isn't pleasing to your eye? Not that you even know him, but that seeing him just turns you off from speech--you just don't want to talk to him.
And why? Because there's 'something' about him that you don't like, even though you can't quite put a finger on what exactly it is that you don't like about that person.
It's not that that person is damn ugly, or appear to be damn stupid. This dislike stems from something that's intangible, and perhaps that's why you 'just don't like him'.
I'd attribute this to 'aura'. There are people that you simply like, not because they look good or smell good, but that there's something to them that just draws you to them.
It's not animal magnetism, it's just different from animal magnetism. I think that animal magnetism differs between people, ie A can like B, but C may not like B.
What I'm referring to is when everyone likes B.
OK it may be animal magnetism after all. Except that B has a lot of it.
I'd rather attribute it to 'aura' though. Not that it could be scientifically explained at all.
I had this experience with a guy whom I didn't like. It was very weird. It was just me stoning around doing nothing when he suddenly came up to me and started asking me random questions about my CCA.
I didn't like the experience at all. I disliked him, from his face to his paunch, and I didn't dare to venture below the waist.
When my friends asked me why I don't like him, I couldn't come up with an answer. I just made some vague reference to his 'aura' as I've mentioned several times earlier.
And not surprisingly, my friends agreed with me. We didn't like him one bit.
And because we didn't like him, we started exaggerating his stupidity. Face it, everyone has a bit of stupidity within themselves, like doing epic fail things, and missing out on stuff, being blur, doing stupid actions after doing well in a certain thing, almost as if it's a victory sign, and we laughed at that too.
It's not that he pissed us off, or intentionally pissed us off. It's just that we didn't like him in the first place. We didn't like him, we weren't receptive to him, we ostracized him, and we basically didn't allow him to enter the Men's corner. Or at least we were very averse to that idea, and when he did join we were turned off.
And whenever he cracks jokes, we don't bother recognizing his efforts to integrate with us. We laughed at him silently, and not at his jokes.
I'm not sure if the others went through this thought process, but I was like 'Eh I think I'd have done the same thing too'. Like, crack the same stupid jokes and do stupid stuff and things like that.
But why am I not ostracized? Is it because of my 'aura', or simply because of my own, more socially acceptable, disposition?
Or is it simply because I've known this group of friends for a longer period of time, and thus they are able to accept my weird behaviour?
It is interesting how the same person can react differently to the same thing done by other people.
One starts wondering 'why', and there's no definite answer. Or at least I've yet to find one. Perhaps charisma?
I don't really regard myself as a social animal. I stick out at times(quite often. OK most of the time), and I don't really see a need for me to stick to any particular groups. I don't have the 'sense of belonging' to people, but I won't attribute that to being a 'lone wolf', because I am a tiger.
It's more of a 'don't need' kinda mentality. And people who are like me, or at least act like me, try to attribute this to 'loneliness'.
They forget that they are only acting cool. I don't have to act cool--I am cool. But that's not the point.
Loneliness is being affected by a depressing feeling of being alone. Which means that the victim isn't actually enjoying his 'loneliness', because there's nothing to enjoy about being lonely.
No one can enjoy loneliness. It's either
1) A valiant attempt to look cool. But it can only remain an attempt because it's stupid.
2) A fatal misunderstanding of the word. Which ultimately converges on the point of 'stupidity'.
If you think you're enjoying 'loneliness', it's probably 'solitude' you're feeling--that you're independent of the world, that you are OK, and can live without, and perhaps enjoy living without, other people around your life when you're doing certain things.
Like, I like my peace and quiet on my way back home alone. I like doing certain things alone, and there are things that one can only do alone, ie wanking.
And it's not like solitude is a 'cool' thing to do, it's a normal thing to do. There are social animals who cannot live without others, and there are sociopaths who cannot live with other people around. We are considering the case of the average human.
There's nothing 'cool' about 'loneliness', nor 'solitude'. Everyone can have a solitary existence, and everyone has their private time alone when nature calls.
'oh...i was alone at home, facing the four walls, and then i realized that i am all alone in this world. what is this feeling..? is this loneliness..? it's supposed to hurt right..? why am i..enjoying this moment? have i gotten used to it? i am cool..'
That is utter bullshit.
'i was on my way home and i was alone. of course, i'm always alone. it's not like i need friends, because i'm too cool for friends. i don't need them. i enjoy my ride alone. i am cool...'
That too is utter bullshit.
Everyone can see how bullshitty those 2 statements are.
Bullshit reminds me of something epic that happened on Monday.
I was playing Travian in the school library when...
And I know that I can never see computers the same way again =\
Oh yea and as title suggests, this is my 400th post. Big deal(do)
-- 7/22/2009 07:32:00 PM