Changi Coast Adventure Centre(or so I think)
We were eating at somewhere in Changi, on the beach itself. It was quite cool, or at least the breeze was.
Went to walk around after that, and there was a lighthouse structure around it on the rocks. I forgot what the beach-protective structure is called, it's been a year since I've last touched geography, and it was raining and there was lightning, and I was quite far from buildings.
Naturally I felt a bit scared. I contemplated death. It's like, it's not suicide, it's Nature hating me by striking me with lightning. But I realized that I cannot die now, just because everything seems pointless now doesn't mean that I won't lead a meaningful life in the future.
You can say that people hang on for hopes of a better future, which is probably what I'm doing right now. Which is probably what everyone else is doing.
Which is commendable.
I can't help but feel that life is indeed quite meaningless. I know there are people out there suffering from hunger and dying of malnutrition, but whatever the case is, they are too distant to be real to me. What matters to me is here and now, what I'm doing and what I'm going through. Isn't that true for most people? If you only hear of it, and see it through the media, it just isn't as real as going through the motions in school, or at work.
Why do we do all these, and what do we get out of it?
But I know. It's all about a better future, which like I said, is still too distant to seem real.
That's a really childish way to look at things. I am undermining the point of investment.
So anyway, I don't want to die, so I went back.
On the car, we passed by the Changi Coast Adventure Centre. I think that's what it's called.
In case you were wondering, yes, that's the OAL training place.
I was fondly reminded by the entire camp experience, which involved walking there from Bishan.
I remember carrying Jason Quek on my back and walking an entire 200metre(or so) because he was supposedly a 'casualty'.
I remember that it was at 7.30AM when we got there. Which means a 10hour hike approximately.
I remember running the Sec 2 camp, and SMSing someone who was quite special to me at that time using John's prepaid card, and I still have all those pictures with me.
I still have a picture of cute Timothy Lim Jun JIe acting cute.
I still remember a lot about that place although it wasn't that long a stay there.
This sense of nostalgia visited me as fleetingly as the glimpse I caught of that place. Even in darkness I can recognize it clearly.
Then I'm brought back to reality. There's always a stark contrast between memories and reality, because memories get distorted with time, and some things just appear in the memories which may not be there. You know that your memory is perfect, because it happened and it seemed like the best way things could happen. Memory is a form of documentation of one's life, in short, history. And you know it's perfect because it happened, and you don't know what else could've happened besides that?
And this perfection, this experience, these memories, made life in Cat High meaningful.
Perhaps years down the road I'd be in love with AJC and pine for its touch, but until then I'm still quite indifferent about school life in AJ.
Teachers' day tomorrow. I don't really know what to look forward to. No one really gives a fuck about it I think. It's like there's no apparent planning, people come and go like they do in my life, and things happen, things don't, and everything ends.
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-- 8/30/2009 10:58:00 PM
