To fart or not to fart that is the question althought there are no question marks.
I watched a show on Channel8 once, it was 幸福双人床. They stated differences between males and females, and interesting facts that discern between genders.
An example would be farting. So Tay Ping Hui was in the lift with his wife whose name escapes me, when he breaks wind. The people in the lift looks at him, and he tried to look innocent and pointed vaguely at another dude in the lift.
Then there were words on the side of the screen writing something like 'Women fart on average 7 times per day; Men fart on average 12 times per day.'
I'm facing that problem these days. I don't understand why people are so disgusted when I break wind. It's flatulence, something I can't help, and although yes, I can choose to try to hold it in, there are times when my rectal muscles simply do not have the strength to withhold the inevitable, or when the pressure builds up so quickly that it comes out before I could respond.
Let's face it, everyone farts. I'm not the kind who'd mince over my words, and I'm not the kind who'd hold back my farts. Farting is like burping--natural. Farting is like blinking--natural. Farting is like breathing--natural. What's wrong with being the caveman I am? >(
So anyway, it's normal for guys to fart more on average than women. It is normal that all farts smell the same. Just because a woman lets loose doesn't mean that it's nice to smell, and just because a man lets loose doesn't mean that it'd kill you. It's like shitting, all shits smell the same. Public toilets discriminates between males and females--but not the smell.
For the slow, what I'm saying here is that farts from a male and female smells the same--do not think too highly of yourself due to more personal hygiene or something along those lines.
Another thing I'd like to say about this is that we are all polite around strangers. We keep our hair up, our dicks down, our attire proper in front of authorities.
Let's say that you're having a lesson with a teacher you're familiar with. You'd adopt your favourite position, perhaps comb your hair, make noise and ask questions when you feel like it, and charge your phone(OK that's for me).
But when your principal walks in, the class dynamics change. The atmosphere becomes heavy, everyone is sitting upright, no one would dare to comb his/her hair, and asking questions is tough because it's weird to ask questions in front of a complete stranger/authority figure. Charging your phone is out of the question too, because it's school electricity you're talking about.
Now let's change it to an everyday context. You're with your friends. You are slouching with them in Macdonalds, making noise and having fun and eating in the most unglamorous way possible because you're comfortable with them. You let loose a burp after a sip of your favourite drink--Coke, and they laugh at the mayonnaise(heh I spell correctly right?) at the sides of your mouth. Then you lick it away with your tongue because you're comfortable with letting your friends see the full length of your exposed shaft, I mean, tongue. Then you carry on eating and burping and licking away mayonnaise from the sides of your mouth.
Throw in a stranger, a friend of a friend that you don't know. Add in the fact that the person is from the opposite sex. You wouldn't be making noise and having fun eating in the most unglamorous way possible because you're afraid to create a bad impression on this random second-degree friend. You try to hold back the burp after drinking your favourite drink--Coke, because burping is rude. You'd try to make sure that all the mayonnaise and incriminating evidence of your food-consuming habits would be gone with every bite and swallow, because you do not want this second-degree friend to see you with food debris on your mouth/white-white stuff which could look rather wrong. Even if mayonnaise does get to the sides of your mouth, you would not stick out your tongue to lick it off, to consume it, because it's rude. You would take a piece of tissue paper and wipe the white stuff off your face.
Why this comparison? For the slow--I'm just saying that you won't be as natural as you are in the presence of people who make you feel unnatural.
So picture this: Alastair in his class, where everyone is his classmates and he is comfortable with everyone. He farts and laughs about it, disgusting everyone in the process but being indifferent about it because he's never apologetic when he breathes.
Then picture this: Alastair with a girl he doesn't really know, holding back his fart because he doesn't want to create a bad impression of him on her because they are unfamiliar to the point of being complete strangers. He can't really 'be himself' or 'natural' because of the unfamiliarity of the situation.
I think that being natural around you friends is the greatest recognition you can give them. 'Hi, you're my friend so I'd be frank', or something along those lines. You do not fear being around them, you do not fear offending them because they are your friends and you know that you have them as long as you do not offend them to an extreme extent.
A friend is someone you can truly let yourself loose with. Someone you are comfortable with. So yea, if you can't fart in front of me then perhaps you aren't that comfortable with me.
But then again it's a problem of threshold. Some people have a low tolerance for such 'comfortability' tests. Like, perhaps a rapist would rape all his friends because he is being 'natural' like that, but the raped friends of his won't like it definitely. It's a give and take thing and I'm not the kind to compromise my natural urges(not the sexual kind).
Hmm. This is definitely a more..balanced post than: http://rawr-barney.blogspot.com/2008/10/fark-you.html
Holy shit I used the same sexample.
-- 9/11/2009 11:43:00 AM
