Leave him alone.
I saw a real man in school just now. I never really knew him, never really talked to him, never really liked him as a person(probably because I don't know him well enough), but I did enjoy threatening to squeeze his nipples. As I did with almost every other guy that I kinda know.
I never knew that he's such a manly man until yesterday. It's Saturday, 2.14AM now, 24th October. I never knew that manly side to him until 13hours ago, when he came out and shrugged his shoulders helplessly, fighting back his disappointment and panic/labels of what was to come, and managed to afford a weak, wistful, smile to all who inquired. He wasn't inhuman enough to remain emotionally isolated, but he managed to shake his head regretfully to all, almost as if he has let everyone else down.
He managed to have a (small) talk with me, and I really didn't know what to say to make him feel better. I was helpless. To a real man like him, what am I to say? What is there to say? What is left to say? What would he rather hear? Would he rather be given his peace and quiet, away from prying eyes and unkind/overly-kind tongues? Would it have been better to let him have that bit of dignity? Or would concern be of use?
He didn't express much verbally. It was all in the non-verbal cues. There was no laughter in his eyes when I tried to crack some jokes to cheer him up--the sinking feeling is too much for him to laugh truly, but he laughed anyway.
I like to think of myself as someone who can see much from eyes, because I'm guud, but I didn't like what I saw. As mentioned, I don't know him well. But I was affected by his mood.
And there was nothing left for anyone to do for him, the die is cast and nothing anybody said would be of help. Concern is an euphemism for destruction of pride. Are we to bestow it upon him then? And if we did, then what?
I think he'd rather we leave him alone.
-- 10/20/2009 12:35:00 AM
