Bluff one lah.
Been a rather eventful week, what with OP and skipping of school on Thursday because I thought it was OP day for others and thus no lessons.
Ooops. Life.
And then there's the BBQs. First it was bowling BBQ at Grace's condo. Don't really know her well, but yea, it's a BBQ and I'm just attending because I'm not a sociopath.
I went swimming halfway through in my PE attire and it was damn cold seeing as it rained beforehand and I was cursing myself and stupidity and my tendency to do stupid things but thank the fire.
So..yea.
That was Friday.
Then on Saturday, we had class BBQ which wasn't that classy considering the fact that it wasn't the whole class but more or less so oh well. It was quite fun but I fell asleep on the function room table. I tend to sleep around a lot =\
So yea, and Chef Tan's cooking was good, so we gave him a birthday cake because he deserved it. OK it wasn't for him alone but oh well.
OK so random.
Sometimes I wonder if that relationship is true. I thought it weird that you liked one person for so long, but that's fine, I mean, yea. But then suddenly you're in love with another? It's weird, I really don't understand how you work. And why are you still so like that even though you already have one?
Is it because the relationship isn't real? Is it because you're just treating that person like a last resort out of your drought of love? I don't get how that match was clapped up so suddenly, and I can't see how the relationship would last, and I somehow don't see happiness in your eyes, not that I'm trying to observe them in the first place but the lack of happiness is staring right into me. I don't understand a lot, and I really think that you're just grabbing for the sake of grabbing, because that's your last resort.
Why not start by being honest with yourself? Don't waste your time and emotional efforts along with your victim.
Or maybe I'm just thinking too much. Bah.
The inactivity of holidays just gives me a lot of time to cool off, to think things through, and more often than not I don't come out of it as a better man or anything along those lines, I just...never mind.
To another you. You claimed to know the loneliness of the night, to enjoy it, to be consumed by it. But I've never seen you online when I am, and I'm sometimes online till 5. The birds start crowing and chirping and making noise at around 4.30am, and I'd always be left thinking: Are you experiencing this at your side of Singapore? Or are you just lying?
I like being online late. It gives you a chance to know other people better. Like, if I were online late and there's a friend of mine whom I don't really talk to who is also online late, and his/her personal message/nickname sounds a bit off, you have a topic to talk about and at night, all inhibitions are lowered. Seriously. You feel more at ease to talk about stuff because you're probably tired to think about the repercussions, so like I said, you get to know other people better.
That's probably the reason why I'm always online late, because I'm seeking a chance. But for tonight it's because I want to use my energy pack but I want to level up first.
So anyway, I always feel slighted, as if I was holding onto a promise that was not fulfilled. There was no promise from you to be online late anyway, but I've always thought that you would be. I'm normally mistaken of course, and I get used to it. But when the birds chirp for the morning I always get a bit disappointed as I prepare to go to bed--Where are you? Not that I need to talk to you, but that I need to feel the presence of someone else like me.
My posts are getting really substandard and I should do something to brush them up but I really have nothing better to blog about because my thoughts are getting really private(parts).
Travian's ending soon, and I'm quite glad this intrusion into my life is ending soon. I get my life back, I don't have to wake up at weird hours to send attacks, etc.
My life is coming back.
-- 11/16/2009 12:42:00 AM
