How to destroy a school.
So Christmas ended quite fruitfully, as in the family gathering was good. And then it was yesterday, Saturday, and much moping ensued.
Retests: Next Monday and Tuesday.
I didn't prepare well. I just hope I could scrape a pass. Seriously. Two 45/100. Tolong. And I'd be rid of this bullshit.
I hate AJC. I hate it because given me results, it's bad enough to be in the group A-D list, but not bad enough to be in the group B list. I'm only missing one fucking mark to be clear of any of these lists in the first place, but if the teachers are oblivious to it, I have nothing to say.
I mean, well, if they count a student's 44 marks as 45 marks, then students with 43 marks should also be counted as 44 marks, and they would whine even more and thus get 45 marks.
The vicious cycle goes on, and so adding of marks didn't ensue. What to do? Can't do nuts anyway.
But what I really don't understand is why I'm not in group A and instead in group B, which has to do retests. I have nothing to say if it's really a teacher who sabo-ed me, because I'm really a slacker through and through. But even then, I should be resigned to my fate as a person who has to take retests.
I am OK with being labelled as a person who is nearly slated for retaining. I mean, I would love to be rid of this prestigious title, but what can I do? I have no way out.
Education is such that everyone has to survive and study hard and survive and study hard and study even harder to survive against those who study hard. I'm not the diligent kind, and I'm not whining about the lack of resolution in my bones, because it's a system that works, and a system that's easy to work out. Why bother changing the entire system such that the entire student population benefits? It's impossible to believe that such a thing would become a reality, because 'studying is itself a rite of passage', and it's too troublesome to change a system when the price is only unhappiness. And perhaps a few lives due to stress. No one gives a shit about those poor stressed-out and suicided students, because they have effectively eliminated themselves from this vicious food chain. It's not exactly a bad thing either. And a system which works for majority of the student population who have learnt the game rules would not be changed for the really small numbers of suicidal students.
Life's like that. Suck on it.
Like in authoritative countries. They all have a system which works. They develop well and fast. Look at Nazi Germany. Germany became very strong in a few years shortly after all the shit it had to pay for war damages in WW1. Because there's only one ruler, Hitler, and with less democracy and human rights there's more efficiency and effectiveness in policies and industrial schemes implemented by the authoritative government.
Do you really think that Democracy exists? It's impossible to think that happiness, human rights, freedom, etc, all these random abstract human emotions and ambitions, they count for naught as they are personal and individualistic in nature. Such people are not worthy of his/her country's attention, because why should the country, or governing body, bend its rules or go out of its way just to satisfy said abstract human ideals?
Everyone wants to do things their way. In a government, there are many parties, and within each party there are many people. Duh. If one party wants to do one thing its way, all the parties in the government would clash and want things done specifically in their way.
Democracy is when these parties reach a common consensus and are able to compromise, and strike a deal to do a certain thing in a certain way.
How long does it take for the many people who form the numerous party to reach a common ground for the one single government?
Democracy is really just an ineffective way to govern any country. It's just a name that is normally associated with the aforementioned human ideals, and just to scam people into voting for the party. Who wouldn't want to enjoy power alone?
Why am I even talking about governing bodies and the like?
Because even in schools it's the same. I'm finally getting to the main point which I did not further elaborate on just now.
Why I hate AJC.
It's because every school is authoritative.
This is a governing system which can be found in most schools:
The Principal > Vice Principal > HODs > Tecahers > Student council + students.
Of course, there's always the school board of directors or something, but I'm really not sure where they fall under.
So the principal decides on something, the vice principal announces it and perhaps tweaks it abit, passes it on to HODs and they in turn pass on to the teachers, and you get the flow.
So in the case of this retest, the principal explicitly stated that the dates would not be changed. Even if you're sick, in the hospital, you're supposed to give a call and take the RETESTS in the hospital itself. In short, there's no escaping 28th 29th Dec 2009 for the 100+ retest students.
Isn't it retarded? Retests is like promos, I have a classmate who ponned the whole week of promos and he still got to sit for the promos eventually. He got to sit for the same papers some more, so he already knows what's going to hit him.
Fair?
And really, the reason the principal stated for having this set, iron-cast rule that the retests be dated 28th 29th Dec and not changeable, is that it's a 'training for A levels', because in A-levels, if you miss a paper, you missed the paper. Take again next year.
What the fuck? What the fuck? Does it even sound sane, that such a thing requires 'Training'? If I so happen to fall down a week before A-levels and like break my left hand(choy ah), what can I do about it? The lapse in logic is so appalling I can't even begin to barf.
I do understand that teachers need their breaks, and by having this iron-cast dates, students come back for their retests, teachers also only have to come back once to invigilate, etc.
I am a reasonable man. I know that teachers need their breaks too, and that the college is 'doing us a favour' by even giving us a second chance to take our retests.
But don't make it sound so selfless. 'This is training for your A-levels.' What the fuck.
I have this extended family trip to Genting. It may not sound like much, but the tickets were ordered before the release of the promo results. And it's with my extended family. Which means that my grandparents, and basically the whole of my mother's side of the family, would be going. And I'm the only person in my generation(of 10 kids) who is unable to attend. There's actually another cousin who cannot go because she has motion sickness, but I don't have motion sickness. I am a 'can't go because of fucked up retests' case.
I don't get to spend time with my family.
I don't get to enjoy holidays as much because there are times when this nagging feeling that I've still got retests resurface.
I feel this regret that I cannot accompany my family on this trip.
I feel that this would be a lifelong regret because such a trip was never organized before.
I just hope they organize something similar next year such that I can go.
But even if they did organize something next year I'd still feel that 'Fuck, I missed last year's.' Kids grow up fast, really, and one year could change kids a lot. For example, I used to be able to carry one of my toddler cousins. But she grew up, and now she wants to talk instead of being carried. And because she can recognize people already, she doesn't allow me to carry her. I remember I had to coax her into letting me carry her. =\
They are setting off this morning, 7AM or something. I felt it since Saturday night, that I really would regret not being able to go for this outing. Really. Fuck my life.
AJC is taking away all this from me. I understand their rationale, but I understand my own emotions too. Just because this governing system works, and just because I'm resigned to fate of retests DOES NOT MEAN that I would live happily with the thought of retests. In short, it just means that I have to suffer silently, though it's not that silent since I'm blogging about it. Wonder what could happen should any teachers read this.
But then again, what can they do? Between a student's reputation and the school's reputation, they'd rather keep things in check and not blow things up, which could be done by a simple phone call to SPH XinMin Daily. Any gossip that is detrimental to their reputation should be avoided at all costs, so I hope they won't bother with me. Coz I'm not sure of how I'd respond to this threat either. I WILL bite back. I have nothing to lose.
AJC. Stay away from it.
I had this weird idea a few weeks back. It was 'How to destroy a school'. I was thinking that if I were influential enough, I could perhaps stop this year's sec4s from enrolling into AJC because of my wide(non-existent) network of friends. And then AJC would have to close shop because it doesn't have a J1 intake. Then the torture ends at my batch.
Think it'd work? It's very extreme and completely impossible to achieve though.
-- 12/27/2009 02:55:00 AM
