If I ain't got you.
And when I got onto Travian I was notified that the server has already ended. This is exactly how long I've played on S6:
Population: 14,692
Registered since: 28/11/08
Playtime: 374 Days
One whole fucking year. Back then I was with Kaisheng and Delwin, trying to find a foothold when it was a dog-eat-dog world out there with raids coming in all the time and us having to be online ever-so-often to avoid getting our villages pillaged and our women raped.
Ah, it's been a year. I've been playing Travian S6 for a far longer time than I've been in AJC. And now I'm about to lose it. All my 18 villages, and 14292 villagers(womenfolk I presume, because I'm a sexist). I know I'm not the best Travian player out there, but for a non-gold user I reckon I'm pretty good.
In Travian, as long as you're devoted and smart, you can play well. But in other aspects of Life, it's not that simple, and I lack in luck. I don't know why I can't succeed either =\
Shit man. So many hours spent on this game which would be deleted next week because the server has to reset. I'm not going to start a new server but the fact remains that I will miss this game. Even though it's frustrating at times, when you see attacks landing and you can't do shit about it, even though you know it's just pixels and that the real you aren't getting hurt in any way, YOU STILL CAN'T HELP IT.
It's a relieve that the server ended, that I won't have to play this troublesome game anymore, but still...
And I finished reading 'Pretty Face', which has like 52 chapters. I started on Monday. I don't know why but I read things fast. And I hate to have a manga series end on me like that. I don't like the tone of finality with the ending of manga-s, because I like to look forward to them. Like how I probably won't be able to take it very well when One Piece ends, because I'd have been chasing it for the past N years.
It's really depressing when a series end. I hate final episodes, it's much like Travian. Everything has that tone of finality, a conclusion, and that's not a very happy thing.
But then again, because everything is pervaded by mortality, one learns to cherish things. And when you hold something so close, so dearly, it'd hurt when it ends.
And when things end you'd feel empty. You don't know why you're here, because you don't seem to be succeeding in anything. You don't excel in anything at all, and although you may seem to be a proud person, you realize that you actually have nothing to your name. You have nothing to be proud of, but you remain proud anyway, because that's your way of living, that's your source of dignity, and when this illusion is destroyed by that sense of emptiness your delusion falls apart, you realize that your source of dignity is non-existent, thus you don't see why you need it at all. Then you start to want to flail about because flailing is good for health, but you don't want to appear to have 'fallen' so you go about acting normal.
And like your handphone which is telling you 'Low-Battery', you ignore your handphone because you just want everything to end.
If I ain't got Travian.
Damn.
-- 12/09/2009 03:06:00 AM
