Too young to tyre.
I've always wondered why hearts wouldn't stop beating. Isn't it tiring to keep beating? I've always had a low stamina for things, and I've wondered why throughout the course of my 17 years on Earth does it not cease to beat. It has been beating for that amount of years and isn't it tiring to keep this repetitive cycle up?
No this does not mean I'm suicidal. I just...don't really understand teenagers. We're supposed to be youthful, we've only seen 19(max, coz 'teens') years of Life, we can't say that we've seen life, or the world in general. I feel flattered when people tell me that my way of viewing the world is unique, but to be honest I haven't seen much and have seen things I'd rather not see.
Aren't teenagers always trying to put themselves on par with adults? For example, when we were all still kids, we used to go like 'let's hide from the adults'<--my cousin used to play that with me. We used to go like 'don't talk to adults they can't understand kids'.
Then in the rebellious stage we go like 'Fuck adults I can take care of myself(despite not having any financial means), they don't even bother trying to understand how much hardship I'm going through(even though I've only lived for 15 years), so I'm leaving home.'
Then after that stage we'd think that we're on par with adults, because we're only a few years away from adulthood. So we start trying to act like them, and trying to think like them, and trying to act like we've done/seen the things they have done/seen. We start organizing committees, start running elections and campaigns, start doing weirdass stuff almost as if we're trying to run a country, run all those UN models, etc. We start QUESTIONING why adults do stuff in a certain way, and we try to consider all these in a deeper perspective, but we always fail because adults are on an entirely different spectrum. We cannot compare. We always take into consideration the visual impacts, like in the Sri Lanka war, many teenagers thought that 'omg war is so cruel, this is pointless, this is no victory'. We don't know the workings of the world yet. We hold onto age-old qualities, like 'war is bad, period.' 'Violence can never be justified.'
That's why song-writers of the supposedly more profound songs are never teenagers. They've seen enough to write about it.
Teenagers normally try to emulate adults as I've already said. And their perception on adults can only be moulded from what they know about adults, and they learn about adults from the media. That's why young girls are all dying to get their 'perfect' body, while guys are dying for a bigger penis.
What's on reel isn't real. But most humans fail to realize that the world is a scam.
I'm flattered by the comment, but that's about all it could go. I can't accept it because I haven't seen the world, and simply seeing isn't enough--you have to see through it.
Which brings me to my next point.
I don't understand how teenagers can feel jaded by life. You're a teenager. You've hardly seen the world. You've the whole world opened up to you, you have the world at your feet, you haven't made your first step out into society.
You have choices to make, you have things to accomplish, and you have all these to do before you die.
But people normally get demoralized in the face of death. Why bother with all these achievements when you'd die anyway? When people bring in the death card I normally get stumped.
Why are we always looking so forward? Is this something we picked up while trying to learn from adults, except that we're doing it all wrong?
What are you living for?
I know my answer. I don't have to blog about it but I'm sure that although it won't bring me to greater heights, and that I'd screw up, at least I know I have a reason to live and it's not for anyone in particular. I won't say that I'm assured, because I'm not, but that at least this would keep me living, knowing that it's all worth the carbon footprints I'm leaving behind with every letter I type.
Do you know yours?
-- 4/08/2010 11:53:00 PM
