Secrets, spoilers, defects, and...free pens.
Here's a more zoomed out version of the spoils of war (I just found out that I left one pen out of the equation, a Navy pen, one of those boring plain blue ones that come plentiful, because I didn't keep it properly and it was in the bag and I didn't fish it out for this family portrait):
And here's a more zoomed in version of it:
We had this career fair thingum on Wednesday, and there was an exhibition showcasing many scholarships available for everyone, and sign-ons and stuff. I didn't really pay much attention, I fell asleep during the 3-hour 'lecture' from different groups of people from different backgrounds all trying to spread propaganda about how their school is the best for us.
It was damn boring I tells you, and I didn't get any take-home messages at all, except that some AJ teachers really suck. There was one teacher berating us for being restless, but fuck you, even snakes move every 3 hours...I think. Either way we're humans and we need to move and it's either we start grabbing the iPhones of others to go on Facebook or we start grabbing our own phones (or dicks) and start playing. There'd always be random bursts of activity whenever there is a change in speaker, because there'd be people rushing to the toilet. I wonder why, because young people should have strong bladders, perhaps the AJ atmosphere makes us all older. Much older. Fact: There was no toilet breaks allocated during the 3 hours. Another fact: Humans move a lot. Third fact: It is a given that restlessness would be part of the program simply because of fact 1.
USE YOUR BRAINS DAMMMIT.
Another interesting thing to note is that there was no air-conditioning for like the first hour. It was a ball-sweating experience. Yea, shure, the air-conditioner needs to warm up to cool the place, but if you knew that there are outside speakers involved perhaps it would be a good idea to, I don't know, switch on the air-conditioning earlier?? Like, common sense much?
I like to think of myself as a very reasonable man. I can stand it if I'm criticized, for even the slightest mistake I made. But I cannot stand the brainlessness of this whole shit =.= air-conditioners much? I know you don't really care if your students are suffering from sweaty balls, but your sweat glands do not get less active as you grow older. Some of your precious guest speakers are males, and you are depriving them of their ball-room dryness. Before you point your finger at us for being a disgrace, stop being so kiam =.=
Then there was this exhibition thingum. There were a lot of freebies, and I went around with Fi and GX to collect all the freebies available. There were lots of free pens and souvenirs and key-chains and the like, and we went around every booth to shamelessly ask for the souvenirs.
Fi was more tactful and he actually went to spend time at every booth with this algorithm:
Question 1: So how many years is the bond?
Question 2: What if I want to go overseas? How long would the bond be then?
Question 3: How much is the allowance?
Question 4: Are tuition fees included?
Question 5: Thank you (: can I have that as a souvenir?
And there was this particular pen that we both wanted because it's from the Air Force and it shines and glitters and shimmers and looks more dicknified than the rest of the pens all put together, and it was tough getting it because you have to sign up first. Fi talked for a long time and I chipped in every now and then, and the dude appeared reluctant to give us anything because apparently, we need to sign up first before we could get the foolscap pad and the pen together, and being an honest boy I went like 'Um colour deficient = cannot sign up right =\' and the guy gave me a consolatory foolscap pad anyway (I asked for it). It was kinda intense, because I was like waving the foolscap pad at my friends' face and announcing with a rather loud voice: EH GOT FREE FOOLSCAP PAD AND VERY NICE PEN COME AND TAKE LEH. I did this at other booths too (;
So Fi said this: Considering the amount of time we spent on this booth don't you think that you should give us a pen (:
It failed. But we got it anyway, towards the end of the exhibition when they are all like spamming because they couldn't be bothered to take them back. Kinda fun.
Which reminds me of my colour deficiency problem. Whenever I tell people I'm colour blind, the first (and most normal) response would be 'Whoa really? I didn't know leh why you never tell me before? So what colours you cannot see?' I don't really understand why they make such a big fuss out of colour-blind people, it's not that rare, especially for males, isn't it? And about the 'why you never tell me before' part, I think I've told many people before. It's just that nobody bothers about it that much, and that there's not much of a point in like publicizing the fact that I've got a defect.
Some would also probe like 'Don't lie lah'. I mean like what the fuck? Why would I want to lie about a problem with my eyes? Is it very fun to deceive the world about what colours I can/cannot see? I get quite pissed off when they start questioning the very integrity of my person, almost as if I'm one to lie about such medical problems, but being a diplomatic man I always have to calm down and not do anything retarded like bashing the guy up.
But that's not the worst.
At this point, I'd have responded with 'I am red-green deficient, or so the doctor said'. And immediately after that, the people I'm talking to would start pulling colours out of their arses, ranging from folders to phones, to check what colours I couldn't see. Then they would take out their green pen and ask me 'Is this green to you?', while I start feeling like I'm some caged animal in a freak show (simply because I'm a fucking colour-deficient person) where everyone crowds around and pays a certain random unknown middleman a lot of money to ask me inane questions such as 'What's this colour', 'Can you see this', et cetera.
I get so tired of all this. But I'm never/hardly a spoilsport so I play along and go like 'No, it's red what', and appreciate their shocked faces before going 'Naw just joking'.
It still remains irksome though. A humane response, I understand how curiosity works, but an irritating one nevertheless.
Which reminds me.
Let's talk about secrets. It's normal for people to have secrets, regardless of the nature of that particular secret. Let's say that I've got this embarrassing secret that I don't really enjoy making public, like hugging stuffed toys to sleep every night. It's embarrassing but it's not a very 'serious' secret, because it's something people would laugh about (thus embarrassing). If I were to tell a close friend about it, I'd expect him not to spread around our immediate circle of friends, because that's what close friends are for. If I were to announce this secret to a whole gang of friends and tell them not to tell anyone else, I'd expect them to keep this secret too, because this is otherwise known as 'Trust'. Just because I shared something with a group of friends doesn't make it an open secret, like how truths blurted out in truth or dare sessions are supposed to stay within the group.
I cannot understand how people can fail to look at things in a vastly different way from me. I like to think of myself as a very reasonable man, and I happen to find myself a very reasonable man. Normally, reason agrees with reason, so when I find something reasonable while another doesn't that person is definitely wrong, because being a reasonable man I'm always correct. So if I find something wrong it is wrong and when I find something right while you find something wrong you're wrong.
I believe that secrets are shared between the sharer and the recipient of the secrets. It's a trust issue. It's never about the nature of the contents. It's not about the contents. It's not about anything. It's about the fucking trust one puts in when he shares information with another.
Say for example I come up with this cock-and-bull story about how another person is actually my cousin when she's not. It's not exactly a huge secret, nor is it a secret that could kill should it be let out. There's no need for heads to be rolled when the recipient of the secret blurts it out, and there's no need to be uptight over this seemingly harmless piece of information. But should this be let out I WOULD BE DAMN PISSED. You can think of it as a test of trust, and the piece of information given is not important at all. The fact that it's leaked is.
I've told people stuff I did which I'm not proud of, and sometimes they use the information against me. I remember once I told a close friend about it, and he went to bait another close friend of mine with that information. He didn't specify what I did, but it was enough to pique the interest of the other close friend enough to pester me about it and when that happens what am I to do?
I am forced to share, if not I'd appear to have chosen a 'closer' close friend.
And I hate being forced to share things. I like to share at my own pace, within my comfort zone. I don't need to share anything at all, I'm perfectly fine without sharing anything. I share when I'm bored, when I need a conversation topic, when I want someone to know more about me, when I want to show off, when I need to get it off my chest. People misunderstand sharing as 'need', like I share information because I need the recipient of my information.
That's wrong.
I don't.
Like I said before, there are always events in one's life. The people involved in these events feel something for the event, and when they feel they might make up their mind about said events and thus change their lives permanently. I don't normally bother talking about how I feel about events and it's a mighty honour to even get to know events in my life. I don't tell people about how such events change me, that'd be too close for comfort.
You're not doing me a favour by listening or probing. I am doing you a favour by telling you things about me. Don't take that as an endearing-attempt by me to you. I don't bother with such stuff. I'm too inert.
And I hate it when people backstab me as such. Like I said, it's never about the content of the secret, or rather, the information. It's not the nature of the information disseminated that I'm pissed about, but the act of dissemination itself.
It's like if I have a good joke and I get the punchline stolen away from me by a random passerby. I like to think of my information as things to trade with, like as if they are my bargaining chips. I use them AT MY OWN DISCRETION. It's not up to others to randomly stake my chips, for their own (diabolical) means.
This is why I get damn turned off whenever I get spoilered or when I get my punchline stolen from me. I will not want to talk anymore and I will lose interest in the show I'm spoilered in. I will be pissed with the person who spoilered me, but that's not the only effect the spoiler would have on me. I like everything to be kept a mystery from me, demystifying something makes it lose its appeal to me and I'd just not bother anymore.
I can understand the thrills of threatening with spoilers, I love showing off that I have knowledge in certain things. It's thrilling, really. But it's irritating when you keep making comments on how others don't know what you know, because y'know what?-we get the point, now shut the fuck up and get over yourself.
And no this isn't directed to K ahahahaha (doubt my classmates read my blog anyway) it's to people in general who keeps spoilering others. People who really want to spoiler others (with the malicious intent to) wouldn't make much fanfare over the spoiler, they would just add that piece of information in without the fun of you trying to avoid the spoiler.
On a completely different note I had an enjoyable Friday evening catching up with you, thanks <3 <--OK the heart is inappropriate but you get my point~
-- 7/30/2010 11:55:00 PM
-- 7/30/2010 11:55:00 PM