Cher's day 2010.
Was largely uneventful. I remember going back last year to be greeted by throngs of same-batch people and raping and getting raped et cetera. It was fun, I loved last year and how we all simply turned up without prior arrangements.
This year's turnout was quite disappointing though. I know I'm in no position to say this, but I just...miss everyone and I think that gives me the reason to be..frustrated by the fact that this drift is really tearing us all apart and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it. People are busy, exam-nervous, and probably bored already, but still..there's just this lingering sense of regret that the people I've spent 4 years with in Cat High are probably going to just remain as memories, people who wouldn't be in my life anymore despite this sense of regret.
On bus 13 to Cat High I was thinking of eating the laksa. I loved the Cat High laksa despite the rather frequent appearance of the uncle's chest hair (he bares quite a bit of chest when preparing the food), but well that's much better than the laksa in AJC definitely. I remember buying laksa illegally during free periods (because it was illegal to buy canteen food during free periods somehow), and eating at the back of the canteen. It was fun, and very filling, so I was like 'mm OK must eat laksa this time'.
But I went to buy Auntie Meng's burgers (2 of them), they only sell on Tuesdays and Saturdays and as today was a Tuesday I bought what I needed to buy. And after that I was too full for the laksa, if they were still around in the first place (I can't quite recognize the stall owner).
Memories are like food--you can't have too much of them even if you've a high capacity for them. It will overflow one day and you're inundated by this influx of memories that you can no longer absorb or be capable of any rational thought processes. It's impossible to take in everything =\
I left after awhile.
Was on bus 88 to Rivervale Primary School. Damn noisy, damn loud, damn crowded, damn slow. Damn infuriating.
When I got to Rivervale, again, not much to do so went to lepak with WK and sat there talk cock.
I am hungry and quite angry and frustrated with myself for not being an asshole. I want to be an asshole, I want to morph into an asshole and go around doing assholic stuff but I can't bring myself to and Indiana won't react anyway. Why are there people going around spoiling the market? Can't they stick to a 1:1 ratio, you pick one and not more? There are things I hold dearly and it's irritating in the sense that it inhibits me and there I engage tripping myself with my own conflicting thoughts all the time. Throw in certain values, and conscience and you have a lethal dilemma between organs. I've gotten headaches from defining myself and my values and wondering what is the point of holding on when there's nothing left to hold onto, and when there's no on else who holds the same values as me for me to wish to carry on holding onto what I am currently holding onto. It ultimately begs this question--what's the point? I've had enough of having this label but it's no easy feat losing it and I want it to go off with a bang. Given a choice, I'd love to spoil the market for the guys as mentioned above but I can't and I can only beg for fair play, which isn't happening because all guys would love to spoil the market.
I am really tired of being so inhibited, so scared of everything. I want to loosen up, but I find myself lacking in balls to do that.
Do teachers teach us these?
-- 8/31/2010 10:14:00 PM
