Don't defeat your purpose--leave me alone.
We were supposed to take some school quality survey shit in the computer lab during civics just now when the survey took a turn towards being dramatic.Q: Do you like your school?
Q: Does your school encourage creative thinking?
Q: Given a choice, would you still choose to go to your current school?
Q: Does your school inculcate within you moral values?
Q: Are your proud of your school?
Q: Do you talk about your school with pride?
et cetera.
I chose 'Strongly disagree' for all these school-related questions, and I think I kinda announced it. I really don't like AJC, it's so stifling, the atmosphere is so suffocating, and my intelligence is asphyxiated. I cannot breathe and I would love to get out of here. Another 3 months. Another 3 months, and I won't have to go back to this rickety building which has cracks on staircases.
Really, no joke, I'm going to take pictures and show you guys some day.
And as usual, when they give surveys they have to ensure that each student does the survey only once, thus they are bothered enough to generate a password for every NRIC, in the form of stickers. I took my sticker and pasted here:
How characteristic of me. But that's not the point. When one wears something long enough, he'd forget that he's wearing something. How often have you 'lost' your sunglasses only to find that they are nesting on your crop of hair (scalp hair)? I've seen retards running around asking their friends to help them find their sunglasses when it's on themselves, and I guess that's human nature as usual. So..
..I naturally forgot that I had that piece of sticker pasted somewhere conspicuous, and as you can see it isn't exactly blending into my pants anytime soon. So it came to me as a surprise when a teacher suddenly flagged me over to talk to me about it. The conversation went something like this:
T: Eh boy, come over.
Me: Uhh...yea?
T: Are you advertising something?
Me: Huh? Advertising what?
T: -gives meaningful look at my groin- That.
Me: Oh. AHAHAHAHAHAHA SORRY I will remove it.
T: What's that for?
Me: Oh, some quiz, it comes with the password for me to access the survey.
T: OK. Can you remove it?
Me: Yea, done. This is so embarrassing, I'm sorry ahahahahaha.
T: ...
Then I scurried off...and placed it back to where it belong. I made sure she (YES, IT'S A SHE, and she was talking about me advertising my dick, and giving me meaningful looks to my groin...wait why was she looking at my groin in the first place?) didn't get to see it when I walked by her again.
I am such a childish ass, little wonder I failed 2.4KM by 4 fucking seconds :c if not I'd be spared of the trouble of taking yet again another retest. FML, if I don't do it soon I'd turn 18 and things would become significantly tougher (10seconds faster). On a brighter note, at least I improved <3
I think there'd be people trying to surprise me, not knowing that it's quite tough to surprise me. A close friend of mine would know, my heartbeat was steady throughout a rather intense situation, and the comment that 'why isn't your heart beating faster?' kinda made me realize that I am too inert that it's unhealthy. I wanted it to go faster there and then but you just can't will such stuff and I didn't manage to, so the situation came and went (largely) uneventfully.
There are reasons why I don't enjoy letting people know where I stay, because if that happens people can stalk me, not knowing that I don't like to be stalked and even if they knew they'd want to stalk me anyway. I'm telling you guys, don't bother, don't bother at all, I won't be home when the day comes so you'd be knocking on the door of an empty house.
There are reasons why I don't tell people things, because when you tell people things you're giving them pressure to do something appropriate in response to the thing you first told them. And should they not do anything appropriate, or be lacking in their response, I'd turn out very disappointed. This pressure is not something I want to feel on both my friends and myself, because it's tiring being a giver and it's tiring being a receiver too. I'd rather dispense with the formalities and not bother with this whole thing at all, but people kick a big fuss out of it because it's supposedly important.
It's better for them to not know, let the whole issue pass, and I'd feel good because I managed to escape an otherwise awkward situation, rather than having them disappoint me totally by a lack of response. I have very...high standards despite my sloppiness, and if such high standards can't be met, don't bother at all please. It's a plea. Don't bother, really.
Because this whole thing, it doesn't matter at all. It's not like I'm suddenly going to be empowered after the thing itself. I've been doing things I could after the thing even before the thing itself. Having such issues on weekdays is tiring. And the fact that people half-know is even worse, now I'm wondering if a response would be made at all or not, and I don't want to be disappointed so don't bother at all thanks. I can do without it.
Everyone has cards in their hands. I choose not to play such cards because I don't like to force people into doing things they otherwise won't. That's why I don't publicize it, that's why I make a mockery out of it, because I really don't care. By caring you're making me have to care, and you're giving yourselves a whole lot of trouble. Try not to bother with me and I won't be bothered. Seriously. Don't plan a response.
I am either apathetic, or very serious about things in general. Don't make me turn serious and expect more, because you know I'd turn out disappointed, thus defeating your purpose in the first place.
-- 8/16/2010 08:52:00 PM