Pointless pursuits.
Yea well, that's testament to how much of a dick I am--doing things just because I could. Yea, it was really a 'OK I will prove that I don't need Runescape to survive' thing and so I didn't login for 96 days just because of that random notion.
Which makes me wonder about the rationale I have behind doing things--am I really doing things because I want to or am I trying to do them just because I can and want to show that I can? What of the goals after I achieve them then? Would I give up on them, would I still persevere to retain what I've achieved after achieving, or simply give up and say 'I got it before, I don't need it anymore'?
I need to be sure of what I'm looking out for before looking.
I saw this really hot girl just now, and she walked over to me to ask me for some help--to take care of her stuff for her while she went to the toilet (possibly to masturbate to the thought of me). When she walked over to me my heart fell out of my mouth and I simply murmured an 'OK, will do', before trying to hide my face behind my (arguably sleek) handphone and immersing myself with Pokémon Crystal trying to defeat Sabrina from Saffron City Gym.
When she came back she gave me a smile which I hastily returned while trying to rearrange my face such that I don't look too surprised or shocked or unhappy with her lack of sincerity of giving thanks (ie, a blowjob), but I think I did manage to return a good-enough grimace. I can't really smile, I can only smirk, and as is the case of smirks, be condescending. Sigh. Men and their characteristic plank-like face.
She turned over from time to time and when our eyes met we smiled and went back to what we were doing--she with her iPad and me with my phone.
When she left she didn't even say bye =\
Are you just another pointless pursuit of mine? Another goat I'm attempting to sacrifice for my own ego?
Do I really mean what I said? There's only one way to find out, but the consequences.. =\
-- 8/25/2010 12:16:00 AM