Confession of a slacker-bitch.
No, really, just because I made a pre-prelim post does not mean that I am prepared for prelims or that I am arsed enough about prelims to start studying. No, it does not mean that.
I know I should be like mortally afraid of prelims and be fearful enough to start studying. This fear reminds me of the time when Mr. Lee HB quoted Napoleon about how there are 2 ways to drive a man--by interest or by fear.
Clearly, prelims or A levels is not something anyone could possibly be interested in. Studying? Naw, how could that ever be interesting when compared to the other distractions in life ? Studying is not interactive enough to be called interesting, and really it's just a chore, you simply have to push stuff aside to store more shit and absorb and absorb and absorb.
And this is what happens if one were to absorb too much:
That aside, I am really really worried, and quite disturbed by my indifference towards prelims and perhaps A levels. I keep thinking along the lines that it is OK and perfectly normal to do badly, or not fare very well, for prelims because there's 'still time' to study for A levels. I am especially emboldened by the fact that my L1R5 score of around what, 30, for my Prelim 3 in Cat High managed to shrink drastically to a 10. I keep thinking that if a miracle could happen 2 years back, it definitely could happen again and that even if it wouldn't, with my 'superior intellect' I can definitely catch up.
As such, I keep pushing this topic to a later date, because I keep thinking that I can catch up anyway, 'One topic a day also can'.
I keep pushing everything back. I keep thinking that I can catch up.
I can't be arsed.
Why am I not stressed? This isn't a declaration of victory over emotions. I need to feel stress. I need to start studying. It's just another 2 months before the start of A's. I need to feel the heat. I need to start studying. And no matter what I say I know deep down that I'm not prepared to put aside all the time I need to buck up. I need to do well enough to get straight B-s. OK actually the entry requirements are BBC/C, but kiasu abit.
My friend said that if I could feel stressed about not feeling stressed, then I could start feeling stressed. It better come now.
And as of this writing and throughout the course of it I was, and still am, fishing on Runescape.
-- 9/14/2010 09:43:00 PM
