Teeth.
Yea well basically it was a boring movie.
Not boring in the boring sense, but because I couldn't catch most of what they are saying. I can't afford earphones to connect to the computer, and I couldn't possibly blast the speakers for myself to hear and risk waking the entire family up. So when they murmured a bit, especially the males, I cannot fathom what they are trying to say, and I end up having to pass it off as something trivial. So it kinda sucked that way.
My mum kept walking out at the most inopportune of moments. She walked out to watch me watch a shower scene, in which the males were walking around strutting their stuff while towelling off. And then she walked out during the gynaecologist scene. That was WTF so I paused the video, changed the tab, and passed the noise from the speaker off as 'I was playing a song'.
The dick-chomp scenes were epic though, the males have this look of excruciating pain. HMm to be honest it wasn't excruciating. It looked more of...exaggerated, and because the thing that is happening to them is fictitious, we cannot relate to it as much and thus it is more of comical than of pain.
And really, "Teeth" itself is a name of the movie I just watched yesterday. It's about vaginal dentata, which basically means a toothed vagina.
Imagine having sex with a girl who has teeth lining her vagina. If she deems you lousy at sex, she can simply bite off your dick with her vagina, leaving you dick-less and unable to exercise your bad skills at sex on others.
"Teeth" was about a girl who was afflicted by this, but realizes soon enough that this isn't much of an 'affliction', since she can use it as a gift, as a blessing.
This is basically what happened in the story
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Well she first dick-chomped her boyfriend who tried to rape her. She realized that the dick snapped into 2, and she was shocked, and she went to find a gynaecologist who decided that she's horny enough for him to finger, and subsequently got his fingers chomped.
She then realizes that her boyfriend died (drowned I think, couldn't make it past their accent) due to something as silly as a loss of his dick.
Then she wanted to turn herself in but wanted to go home to tell her mother everything that had happened, but found that her mother was unconscious on the floor while her step-brother was indifferent to her plight and was busy pummeling his girlfriend with his pierced dick (Prince Albert ring, whatever it's called).
Then she goes off to find another guy who was quite nice to her, and they ended up having sex. The guy, of course, thought nothing of her 'confession' that she has a 'toothed vagina', and just went ahead. The second time they did it, before she went to turn herself in, his friend called him and he proudly told her that he just won a bet about how he'd get into her pants.
Dick-chomp time.
Then she went to visit her mum at the hospital to find that she's already dead, and she got very angry with her step-brother for having neglected her mum when she was lying unconscious for a long time.
So she went ahead and seduced him and CHOMPed his dick off, and the step-brother's dog subsequently ate his dick, leaving behind only the Prince Albert ring and some remnants of 'dick' left behind.
Then she wanted to cycle away, but her bicycle spoilt and she hitched a ride from a cheek ko pek, who wanted some kind of service from her (coercion: locked the door so she couldn't get out) when they reached some weird place.
Then she smirked, and the movie ended.
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I think this teaches men several very valuable lessons.
1) Never put your dick into any hole, however desirable, if you don't know the nature/content of that hole. I'm pretty sure all those diseases you can get pales in comparison to getting your entire dick bitten off, but still, don't adhere by the 'hump anything that moves' theory. It works only when your girlfriend is moving. Not the car, not the exhaust pipe.
2) Don't be a dick. If you're being a bitch and you make your girlfriend angry, the next time she offers you a blowjob you ought to refuse.
3) Well let's just start of with this joke. A little boy always competes with a little girl over silly little things like supremacy. The boy cycled up to the girl and told her 'I have a bicycle, only boys have bicycles'. The next day the girl bought a bicycle and cycled up to him and said 'I can have a bicycle too!'. So the boy bought a scooter and did the same, to which the girl responded with similar zest. Then the boy showed the girl his penis and said 'Only boys can have this!' and the next day, the girl showed him her vagina and said 'My mum said that as long as I have this, I can have as many of THAT as I want!'
Don't see the moral of the story yet?
Guys are usually under the thumb of women. There are nymphomaniacs and there are horny women but they aren't part of majority yet, and even if they are horny they don't show it, and it's always left with the guys shouldering the blame of 'overpopulation'. Women, it's time for you to know the power you have over men--their dicks.
This also teaches women some very important things, which include point 3 for the men.
1) Don't hesitate. Bite if necessary. Women are born with teeth for a reason. Heck, all humans are born with teeth for a reason. Bite to prove your point.
2) Males are naturally dicks. They think of all sorts of ways to get into your pants, and they are creative this way. It is game over if you think they are serious.
3) A little humiliation goes a long way. The seduction of the step-brother exemplifies this point, no further elaboration shall be given.
I am sleepy, I am sleepy, I shall sleep, I shall sleep.
-- 10/24/2010 03:46:00 AM
