Nope, Starbucks isn't doing you a favour.
My posts seem to focus on the ongoings of Facebook pretty much lately, and the mass troves of people joining the event page of Starbucks regarding the free beverage (per person) on Christmas irked me somewhat.
I never liked coffee. I could never see the point in that bitter beverage--no way am I paying sweet cash for bitterness in a cup. I can never understand coffee connoisseurs, I don't understand how they exist, and I don't find their existence exceptionally meaningful.
Whenever I hear someone discussing about coffee at great lengths, where to go for such a drink (drink, should be patented for ALCOHOL only, not some weird bitter shit), et cetera, I know that I can never have any form of meaningful relationship with that person that does not involve rape.
I guess this brings out why I dislike Starbucks, and any coffee-related products in general. I JUST DON'T LIKE THEM.
So here I am, trying to get Starbuck's shit ruined.
Starbucks is NOT DOING YOU A FAVOUR with that free beverage of your choice. This is explicitly written:
| More Info | enjoy your favourite Starbucks beverage* on us
Yes, it's on the house!
We are passionate about offering the highest quality coffee to our customers.
We are also committed to contributing positively to the community.
=========================
Make a donation of your choice and 100% of the proceeds will go to The Salvation army. Come and enjoy your favourite Starbucks beverage* and make a difference to our community.
* One redemption per customer - Tall-sized beverage only - Bottled beverages not applicable - Event only in Singapore |
|---|
Yep, one redemption per customer only. One would think that Starbucks won't keep track on whether you, as a koupist, would koupe one beverage and proceed to another Starbucks outlet to get a second freebie. That is probably true--but only because Starbucks knows that their target audience, which is the average high-class-coffee-drinking idiot, would not want to associate himself with typical Singaporeans and the Singaporean koupist attitude.
Very true, that. If I'm a coffee connoisseurs, or just someone who loves drinking coffee at such classy outlets, I'd want to distinguish myself from the average Singaporean who does Singaporean-stuff like kouping more whenever possible. Starbucks is banking on the fact that people would NOT koupe more than one drink, and going by the calculation, they would've made a huge profit. Another thing that adds to Starbucks profits is the need for face--coffee connoisseurs will definitely buy another beverage just to show that they are financially capable of celebrating the end product of a bean.
Huge profit? Why? There are around 2000 invited guests as of this writing. More would join randomly because it's a "free", and because it's an open event. There are 67 Starbucks outlets in Singapore. Let's say that Starbucks have 20K customers in total on an average day, and that every customer consumes around $10 of diarrhea. That'd mean Starbucks earn around 200K per day (without deducting rent, workers' pay, electricity bills, etc).
200K can't buy much air-time on television in Singapore. I tried looking up statistics on how much it is to air a commercial, but alas, my searching skills suck. But for arguments sake, let's say that airing a commercial for a total of an hour in prime hours would cost probably around....100K? I have no idea how advertisements work, I'm guessing it'd cost more than 100K, considering it's prime time, but for argument's sake let's just stick with 100K.
This event page has been around for quite some time, but I never got to know about it, probably because of A levels and because I don't really pay attention to the live feed, but the fact remains--it eventually caught my eye.
Now think about the number of friends an average user of Facebook has--around 300. As of this writing, around 30 of my friends have clicked to express interest in the event itself. This means 900 people probably have seen this event on his live feed. At any time one person selects to join this event, approximately 300 "friends" might be notified. That's a freaking lot of people if you ask me, and the more people join the event, the more frequent it appears on the live feed of others, and the advertisement for Starbucks grows--for free.
So although Starbucks would lose around 200K because they are giving out free drinks, they'd have earnt 100K worth of advertising--a long-term investment. You can treat the 10-dollar drink they're giving you as a form of payment for your advertising of the event, and thus, of Starbucks. Very clever business gimmick, Starbucks, totally original.
So, people who've been invited, or rather, who have invited themselves into this event, you've been had. You're the one who got used. How does that feel? You've unwittingly shoved a whole load of advertisements into the back of your friends' throats, forcibly, and definitely gang-bang style. Thanks for nothing, "friends".
Starbucks have no rights to get this kind of advertisement done for it so freely. Facebook should start charging such MNCs advertisements fee.
And this brings me to another point. Note how they subtly brought out the donation to the Salvation Army? Like "COME, come get a free drink, and DONATE. It's like you get $10 free, AND you get to accumulate good kharma by donating! A win-win situation!"
This is something very weird. If I want to donate to a charitable organization, I will knock on the organization itself to donate, and not to leave my money at the hands of a random fast-food restaurant. Normally, people throw change at such donation boxes. And why would there be change in the first place? Because a transaction had taken place. Why would a transaction take place then? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T JUST TAKE THE FREE BEVERAGE. So Starbucks effectively word-trapped you with that, and if you don't donate, you don't accumulate good kharma, people will stare.
And so you donate, but you, not being that much of a philanthropist, decides to only give loose change, but it'd look pathetic if you simply fished out a few coins from your wallet, so you decide to settle this affair of donation with change dropped callously from the cashier, with a swift "Help me donate zat~", as if to differentiate yourself from Loose Change like it's a dirty word or currency not fit for your skin.
And thus, Starbucks earns.
Here are ways for you to foil this sinister plot of theirs:
1) KOUPE. Run around, koupe as much as you can. It doesn't matter, because in the CBD alone there are around 12 outlets. You don't even have to run that much to keep all that coffee in. You can even bring a water bottle to secretly conserve whatever you couldn't finish in your freebie-taking spree, and spread it out for the next few days, rendering their ploy useless.
2) Don't join the event on Facebook. Enough said.
-- 11/28/2010 12:05:00 AM
