Q: What's worse than being murdered? A: Being murdered by your middle school bully.
Well well well. That was utterly humiliating. I don't know if she's playing some sort of scandal game, but whatever it is, the stakes seems too high and it seems so vivid that I can't help but be jealous. No, don't get me wrong, I don't like this girl anymore, but the fact remains that she went ahead and got attached to someone who celebrates Deepavali.
Now that turned out slightly condescending, but believe me when I say that that's not part of my agenda. I'm not a racist, or at least I'm not that much of a racist. But when you place Race and Relationships side by side, you'd find that reactions can be quite polarized. I have F as my male sex partner, my boyfriend/girlfriend (depending on mood and hormonal changes), I have another F as a Travian buddy, and I'm very very comfortable with them in my life.
But I'd never marry someone of another race.
So seeing this happen on no less a public medium than Facebook makes me go WTF, simply because I'd rather perceive myself to have lost to a Chinese than...some other race. I think there's a slight tinge of race supremacy, but I'd rather think of myself as someone that's..racially tolerant/acceptable, except when it comes to relationships, especially when it comes to someone that I've hmmm admired for quite some time.
URGHHH. It's just frustrating. I'm just being brutally honest here, and not being racist. It doesn't really matter to me, I don't really mind who she dates, but the fact remains that there remains a slight shade of resentment over her choice of boyfriend, and over her overt sexual expressions.
There is the mafia in Italy.
There is the yakuza in Japan.
And there are gangs in Singapore.
Do you see the stark contrast? In Italy, the mafia is feared. In Japan, the police doesn't mess around with the yakuza. Both deal with vices--prostitution, trafficking of drugs, humans, arms, et cetera. Both rakes in millions and contributes to the economy.
What does Singaporean gangs do? Loiter around void decks, get involved in 'territorial fights', earn money through petty crime, and the like, none of which is as outstanding, as lawless, as what their counterparts do in other countries.
I don't really know why gangs exist, and I don't get how they exist because there is no point in their existence. Basically, they want to break the law by doing something illegal, but they don't dare to break too many laws at once because they don't have the balls to do so. I'm not exactly belittling our gangs, since they've become so intrinsic in our landscape, but I just feel that if they want to carry on with their existence in Singapore, they should do bigger things, more lawless, more ball-ful. They are not feared nor respected--just disgusting, the way they are now.
I quote The Straits Times: Youth gangs are probably a more recent phenomenn, and they mostly just want to fight... It's not widespread problem.
Another quote from the same: swift actions must be taken, lest they become like the organised gangs of the past, which dabbled in drugs and gambling and sought protection money.
Really, youth gangs? If you want to fight so much, join some sparring competition lah =.=
Which leads us to this comic:
There's this furore over the murder of Darren Ng Wei Jie, some 19 year old student. I don't really get this whole furore though. Yep, he got brutally murdered in public, by around 10 other people in the so-called 'gangs' of Singapore, because of a 'staring incident'.
NEWSFLASH: Being killed because of a 'staring incident' ranks up there with other epic reasons like 'choking on your own shit', and 'drowning in your own saliva'.
To die because of a staring incident is both epic, and retarded, and it's the only way to marry those 2 descriptions together.
Really commendable.
Reports say that he's from Republic Poly's water-polo team or something, and he was with 4 friends when the attack happened. I don't know what truly transpired, but it takes 2 hands to clap. There was a scuffle, there was a fight between thie Darren's friends and himself vs. the gang people, and I can imagine the whole event unfolding in front of my eyes. A random member of either group catches the eye of the opposing group and then a scuffle starts:
Gang members: Anzua? Kiampak ah? Kua simi?
Victims: -refuses to apologize-
According to eye-witnesses, Darren and his friends were winning the fight. Gang members are never going to live with losses. They have pride, and they'd defend their pride..
..by calling reinforcements, and the reinforcements came with parangs.
I don't really know who you'd judge as the one who started it all, but I'd just say this: It takes 2 hands to clap. If Darren had apologized, the gang members would not have hacked him. They'd probably slap his face, spit on him, suan his whole family, but they'd not resort to physical violence of such a magnitude.
It is as simple as that. They would not. They are only out to humiliate others, while defending their 'pride'. They will not hack people randomly.
Straits Times reported that Darren's sister said something to the nature of 'Darren always made us worry'. I don't know how you'd interpret that, but I didn't have a very good impression of this Darren after reading this comment of his sister.
I am not celebrating or mocking him in death. I am just saying that there are other ways to die that does not involve the loss of one's dignity. This is a very good way of going out with a bang, and I am sure his parents and himself regret it totally. Moral of the story? Don't go around staring at people (read: asking for trouble).
Got hacked because of a staring incident.
Also, I don't really understand the point about Facebook groups and pages on deaths, too. I cannot understand why people would go ahead to 'like' a death of someone they don't know. Even if I did know someone who passed away, I won't start a Facebook page on that person just because I can. Imagine this
Y likes these pages:
"Commemorating the life of X, who passed away on DATE', 'Here's a condom. I figured that since you're acting like a penis you might as well dress as one.', and 13089 other pages.
I think that deaths are solemn affairs. By placing such pages on Facebook, creators of such pages are effectively making Facebook more morbid than before. Either that--or demeaning the passing of a life itself.
Also, there seems to be a strongly positive linear correlation between publicity of a death and the number of Facebook pages spawning from said deaths, and subsequently the number of people liking the page. Does this mean that publicized deaths are worth making pages of, while those that go unnoticed, unpublicized, are not?
And does this mean that people whose deaths are 'liked' on Facebook have led worthier lives than people whose deaths do not get on Facebook?
Millions of deaths go unnoticed every day. In Singapore, there is approximately one suicide a day. There are people who are pushed into the surgical room, never to wake up again to their loved ones waiting outside. There are parents who are denied the chance of watching their children grow up (and consequently, children who could never grow up with the company of either parent(s)). There are spouses who have to make the painful decision to unplug their brain-dead soulmates from life-support systems, and subsequently to donate the organs of said soulmates.
And there are parents who have to live in much regret over their kid who died because of a 'staring incident'. I really sympathize with his family. Really. One brash move, one moment of pride, and there goes a life.
Can you see the stark contrast behind the reasons for these deaths of people? I don't know man, there are 2 sides to this: Darren either wanted to live life fully, or waste it. Live life fully because fighting is exciting, and is a shade of life that he'd like to experience. Waste: because he did not know to back down, that pride is not as important as his life, and his loved ones. Especially pride when fighting a bunch of gangsters over a 'staring incident'.
Life isn't meant to be lived or died that way. He had a choice on how to live, he didn't consider the repercussions, and chose to fight.
Another interesting thing about such Facebook pages: They are never made by close friends or family members. Recall the student in university in England or something, from RJC got scholarship go there study medicine then a bus tio her and freaking dragged her corpse around 3km before her body dislodged itself from the bus.
That, is a wrongful death. Did Facebook pages sprout for her? Well, to be honest I've never checked. But I remembered reading on Straits Times something her father said "Leave us alone to mourn." Or something to that effect.
When Madam Kwa Geok Choo passed away, what did the Lees say? They requested that no obituaries for her be made. Why? Because it's a family thing. Grief is not something people would like to publicize.
Facebook pages for her still sprouted.
When the media tried to get some reports on the deceased Darren's wake, they were pushed away by his friends. As the adage goes, 'Birds of a feather flock together', and if his friends were so emotionally charged and ready to rage, I think that's quite a testament to the deceased's predisposition to rage too.
I'm not saying that his life isn't valuable. All lives are valuable, because everyone deserves a chance to live fully. I'm just saying that his life, or death, shouldn't be celebrated, or glorified, by Facebook--because death is definitely more solemn than Facebook and should be accorded the same due respect than being placed on a medium as flippant as Facebook.
You may accuse me of bigotry, but I am a bigot. I think that life is much more than gangs and being involved in gang fights, and finding trouble. I think that life has much more significance than that. I think that life should be treasured, cherished, and not spent pursuing such 'pride'.
I think the deceased could definitely have lived a much better life than he did. I believe that every life has the potential to be something more. He could not realize this potential, or perhaps had his life forcibly removed before he managed to realize this potential--but the bottom-line remains: he was killed because of a staring incident.
Not a vehicle crash, which cannot be controlled by Man. Not a physical defect/ailment, which is against one's wishes. I don't know what to say.
Basically, there are 2 points to my post:
1) Don't bother with Facebook pages--it's just disrespectful to the dead. If you really wish to commemorate the dead, there's the Qingming Festival, there's the actual process of going to the wake, there are so many more respectful ways to do so other than to 'like' a page on Facebook. It's so much easier to like a page, it removes the due respect in commemorating the passing of a life.
2) He didn't live a life worth commemorating, nor do I think he wishes to be commemorated. Given a choice, he'd prefer not to die (at least, not in this way). If one wishes to commemorate his life, what about the thousands of others dying everyday? Are their lives any less significant than one lost due to a staring incident?
I don't know a lot about the world yet, with my 18 years on Earth. I am in no position to state that I know depths that others can only imagine, because I don't know such depths.
But I just can't accord him the same respect as I would to any other deceased person, simply because of the reason behind his death.
I really feel for his family. I really feel for his friends. As in, I sympathize with them for their loss. I am sure that Darren did not want to be killed, but I think the circumstances of his death makes his way of life rather negative. He did not deserve to die, and the gang members were too over-zealous and parang-happy in this case, but I don't think that his death is honourable or glorified. I don't think that it was an 'unprovoked attack', because staring itself is a provocative act (at least to gangsters), and I know that Darren and his friends knew that, thus the engagement in said staring.
It'd have been much better, and much less wasted, if he had chose not to stare (back) at them, or simply apologize and be humiliated (to the point of near-emasculation), than:
which is quite possibly the worst humiliation possible.
UPDATE:
I've never liked STOMP!, nor do I particularly enjoy using it to substantiate my posts, but here's an article that would do so, and prove that the deceased..doesn't live a rosy life as painted by the media. Just because he's a victim of circumstances does not mean that he is not responsible for the circumstances itself. It's like if saying that if I chose to jump down the building (a situation I got myself into), I am pitiable because I am a victim of my circumstances (getting my brains, or lack thereof, sprayed all over the floor).
"The teenager was brutally attacked by a group of 10 youths armed with choppers at Downtown East, Pasir Ris on October 30 after getting into a heated argument, reportedly over a 'staring incident'."
"Heated argument."
And you don't need me to point out what the report (frivolous though the medium itself may be) stated about the deceased's friends.
-- 11/04/2010 08:05:00 PM