Crimewatch states that I am a ninja.
So I was sitting around in front of my computer on my not-so-nice-to-sit-on throne when my father turned on Crime Watch. My computer faces the television, so I have to turn around to watch what's going on.
Crime Watch then went on to explain how "pornography" is "undesirable".
That's blasphemous. The God of Porn should smite the producers of this show for such desecration of the art of pornography, and teach them a lesson on English, because...
...how exactly can porn be "undesirable"?
It doesn't make sense on so many levels. Why would people want to do something "undesirable" then? I mean, if I don't like something, I don't have any "desire" for that thing, and thus I will shun it. Why are porn sites getting so many hits a day then? Apparently, such sites aren't altogether "undesirable" in every sense of that word.
The show then went on to explain to the audience (us) that pornography turned a promising young man into a molester, because he was "swayed". What a retard.
Think about pornography as a religion. Just because there are terrorists, it doesn't make the religion all that bad. What are the producers trying to insinuate?
Porn is something good, as long as you don't get too obsessed. Contrary to popular belief, it's not detrimental to social morals because humans need some form of release. It's like watching horror movies--you watch just to kill the curiosity, and hopefully not unleash this curiosity of yours into real-life situation such as you running around scaring the shit out of people and killing them.
Saying that porn should be banned is like saying that horror movies should not be watched. It's a fallacy. Porn is like food, it's a form of sustenance, it nourishes the mind and soul and body.
The huge lie otherwise known as Crime Watch then went on to spread its propaganda against pornography by saying that the "swayed" boy went around molesting girls, and how he finally got caught because his last victim saw his face and noted the fact that he boarded the same bus as her from the interchange where his face got shot by the CCTV.
What a load of garbage. If I were a molester, I won't pick my victims from an interchange. I'd pick my victims from somewhere more secluded. I won't take the same bus as my hypothetical victims, because OUR EZ-LINK CARDS WILL GIVE US AWAY. I don't quite know what Crime Watch was teaching us back then, but I sure as hell knew the Basics to Molesting long before this episode came out. And I don't really know what Crime Watch was advocating--was it trying to educate potential molesters how not to get caught?
Who the hell takes the same bus and alights at the same stop just to molest a girl anyway? It doesn't make economical sense. Taking a bus costs around $2 (not sure, but approximately lah, fuck you) if you're not a student from junior college and below. After the deed, you have to get onto another bus, which makes it even more expensive (unless you're talking about distance fares, then you're being a bitch). From this, we can conclude that this guy doesn't take economics. OK, I don't either, but I know Frugality.
Another thing about this guy is that he is fucking stupid. When he molests his girls in the elevator, HE COVERS THEIR MOUTHS. What the hell. C'mon, grow some brains. The lift is rather sound-proof. Muffling their screams and is UNNECESSARY. What if she bites and he loses his fingers in the process? It wouldn't take Crime Scene Investigation: Singapore too long to put together the fact that you're a serial molester.
Why didn't he try to cover her eyes instead? Stupid stupid stupid. Not only does he deviate from the normal porn-watching group, he deviates from common sense and logic too. Please, he is not representative of the porn community, ignore him and references to this loser.
There were several interesting things about this episode though. Firstly, I was very interested to see who he chose to molest (in the show lah duh). I was interested to see if Crime Watch bothered finding pretty teenagers to get molested on the show or not, but I didn't want to make a conspicuous swivel with my throne to look behind, so that I don't have to attempt being an owl (owls can turn their heads 180 degrees, much like in The Exorcist). I mean, much though I'm interested, I can't let my father hear the creaking of my throne as I turned around to observe the molestations of their bodies. It'd be embarrassing if either of us spoke out about the awkwardness of watching near-porn on national television, and it'd be awkward if I made noise that he cannot ignore but chooses to ignore just to avoid the aforementioned awkwardness, thus making the situation even more awkward. In such a situation, I'd rather be an invisible entity, a presence not felt, just to let the moment slip by.
I did manage to turn around though, they even censored the images. I guess it got too graphic and that there might have been lingerie shots (the molester in the show must have been really passionate).
I didn't get to see a lot though, because the girls depicted were not that attractive, and I got very pissed whenever the guy did it all wrong. The episode ended with the female police staff sergeant going through a few dubious points about how to stamp out pornography from one's house:
1) Computer should be placed at somewhere everyone can see. The user must secretly be a ninja if he/she can watch porn without getting caught.
2) Parents should monitor what their children are doing online.
3) Parents should limit the number of hours a child can spend online.
I was blushing. Blushing from holding back all the laughter that would have erupted have I had lesser self-control over my buccal cavity, throat, lungs, and every other organ involved in the act of laughing. I have too much freedom, I spend so many hours online, I have no life, my computer is in the living room, and my father didn't make noise about it nor make any reference about my computer-hours in the face of the show. I'm guessing he was sleeping, but I can never be sure. I'm just glad no awkward moments occurred, because he didn't try to summon me back from my plane of existence of being an "invisible entity", or an unfelt presence if you prefer that expression.
But the list was plain boring. YAWN. My computer is in the living room. It's a fucking desktop, I don't have a laptop, I can't watch porn in the comfort of my room. But I still do it in the living room. I haven't been caught.
5 years.
I'm a ninja. As attested by Crime Watch.
-- 1/07/2011 01:41:00 AM
