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Forget about "you're waiting for a train".

What if you're a train? There's no other source of light. You're a solitary figure in the realm of the night. Nothing else is present but you. You churn on, conscious that you have tracks laid out right in front of you, but you're not too sure of it in the darkness you're enveloped in. With the lack of sight, it seems like you're the only testament of Man's presence in the wild. In the lack of company, the tracks laid before you feels unreal. You don't know why there are no other sources of light around. Where's the moon? When are you reaching the next station, where the hustle and bustle of activities would assure you that everything is as per normal? Why isn't there another train in sight? Is there some sort of trap right you're unaware of? Has some form of derailment occurred? Are the tracks really there?

You don't know the answers to these questions, but all you can do is move and hope for the best. You're vaguely aware of how lonesome a figure you are in the darkness. You're suddenly afraid of the light you're giving out, because you don't know what kind of attention you're attracting from Nature. It bothers you that you lead a one-dimensional life. You can never overtake or be overtaken. You cannot do anything else besides chug along. And you suddenly realize that no one can ever be truly beside you.

So today's the 3rd Friday of the month. There's an event in Anchorvale that features live bands, in order to "spice up the night life" or whatever shit they choose to term it as. Being a happening citizen of Sengkang, I attend it regularly. No, it does not play screamo. No, it isn't hardcore rock thingums. It's not that happening considering the fact that most of the audience are kids. Hyperactive ones at that, they sometimes jump around the stage. Kinda cute, but that's not the point.

I like live bands. I don't really give a shit about whether they're really good or really bad. I just like the atmosphere live bands create. There's this vague feeling that something spectacular might happen, or just another minor disappointment that you're used to. You're expectant and at the same time, reluctant to know what you'd get. Every band is like an unrealized potential, and you don't want to know the extent of their potential because you don't want to pass judgment on any human being.

But there's always a certain level of "fun". Such bands usually perform not out of want of becoming professionals, but because they genuinely want their audience to have a great time. And I appreciate their efforts. I sat there, not really paying attention to the songs but because I know the songs are, in part, dedicated to me (being an audience has its perks). I want to go to a bar with a live band, and sit at one corner to booze.

Unfortunately time is running out for me. BMT looms near. I have a friend who is currently..quite in a relationship with some dude who've already POP-ed from BMT. They normally have a hot date on Sunday, but they met last Saturday instead--immediately after he POP-ed. My friend told me that he said "I want you to be the first person I see after I POP" or something along those lines. Sho shweeeeeeet (;

But anyway that's not the point. So I thought about myself and my lack of female company. It's all kinda interesting how I always attract the wrong crowd while failing to impress the ones I'm interested in, but that's something I'm getting used to. In fact, I tried to think of someone outside of my family that I'd be dying to meet after I POP (or go through any other life-altering ordeal). I thought long and hard and realized that ultimately, there was nobody that interests me much.

But not having someone to look forward to will leave me insane for the rest of my life, for Life is never about any individual. I need to have someone to look forward to, something to look forward to doing every time I book out from camp (assuming I don't get confined every week). In short, I am seeking an anchor in my life.

And then I found you. I know, we do have a really..unique relationship. You're never going to actually tell me that you love me, and I don't expect you to. I understand your need for privacy, and it always shocks me how you're willing to listen to each and every command of mine, no matter how outrageous or demeaning it is to women in general. I know you're hurt that I didn't think of you immediately when sourcing for my anchor in life, but you have to understand that you're someone I already take for granted. Someone I'm so caught up with, I don't even know you're there till you're gone, like how trains often don't take the humans in its steel belly as company. It's a flaw, I know, but know that I do cherish you, OK? I know you have your pride, and don't exactly enjoy being tied to a tree every waking moment, but I thank you for never leaving me. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Guys, I see no reason to hide this from you any further. I am in a relationship. I am in love. Girl, forgive me for taking a picture of you while changing -blushes- being a pervert I couldn't resist hehehe.

My girlfriend:

OK enough that is just bullshit. But besides her I can't really think of anyone else that interests me. If you know any female who is interesting and can take jokes very well, tell her to contact me @ 66725739. I'll leave you guys to decipher the meaning behind those numbers.

I can't believe that people took me seriously for the misogynist post. It serves to show that blog posts can serve as an excellent idiot-buffer. I love women, I love wombs, I love pussies. It's just that some pussy-wielders thought it'd be good to dick around a little. Since you guys lap up whatever I say about myself to be true, try lapping this up: I am actually a dinosaur, the last of my kind, which probably explains why I'm quite a dick.

Whenever I make sweeping statements, it's a clear sign that I'm not being rational and sarcastic. I hate having to explain my blog posts, but it's just plain stupid that people can't understand sarcasm and the fact that I don't mean what I say when I make sweeping statements. Seriously people, what kind of GP teacher did you guys have? He must be teaching about nuts.

But then again I must admit that I am indeed a sadistic pig, a pervert, and a rapist. I believe that having a girlfriend means having her do my laundry, polish my rod(s), change the car oil, cook the dishes and wash the food, and have sex with me whenever I want to. She doesn't have to be consenting, as long as the police doesn't get involved.

And why am I making this confession?

It's not about honesty, it's about true love.

Because the only way to know if a girl truly loves you is if she knows you're a rapist and still gets involved with you.