I wanna be the very best.
Whenever I take a book out of my "assault pack", people around me ask, by courtesy, what book I'm reading, the genre, the author. I don't really know how to answer all these questions and I don't know why they do these things. I cannot bring myself to judge another person by the genre he's interested in, and I don't see any value in putting in my opinions about any particular genre. It angers me and puts me in a defensive mood whenever someone says "I don't like this kind of books", and then I feel stupid about having felt defensive in the first place.
Whenever someone takes a book out to read, I like to think of myself as a literate person and I'd invade that person's privacy by reading the title of his book. I think it has something to do with me not interested in asking the obvious. If you're wearing a name tag, I won't ask you by your name, I'd choose to simply call you by what your name tag is saying. Isn't that why name tags are there? If you can't respond to the name on your name tag then you're quite a bit of a retard and I won't waste my time trying to get your number.
Name tags identify the name of someone. Book titles identify the title of the book. It's that simple.
I automatically deem people who ask me for the title of my book as idiots. If you have to ask the obvious to start a conversation, I'd rather not have anything to do with you.
I don't really know how I choose books to borrow, really. They always say "Don't judge a book by its cover", and I try my best to stick to that adage, but let's face it, I don't want to wake up beside a monster every morning. I try my best to flip a few pages and look like I'm busy reading in the words, but I think I'm simply scanning through the book to a certain optimum length of time to hold onto the book for before placing it down without looking like a complete moron who doesn't know what he's doing in a library.
I don't choose books by supposed famed authors, because someone once said something about treading the path less trodden and being rewarded by..new sights? Doesn't matter. I just don't like to follow the crowd. I don't have to choose a certain author simply because everyone else is all over him. I read what I feel like reading.
Reading is tiring. It becomes more like a match of sophistication--who's books' author is more famed and more sophisticated wins, and is automatically the Chimp king. He'd then demand the respect and awe of other readers and utter wise words while experiencing the best fellatio a man can get. I've had enough of this race where I get judged for reading what I like to read.
I don't feel like joining this anymore. It's not that I feel insecure, it's that I am disgusted by what reading has become.
Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.
Either way, I've decided that I might as well drop my pretense. I mean I'm unsophisticated, so I might as well stop trying to be. No amount of books can change the way I perceive things, and instead of reading the accomplishments of others, I might as well embark on a totally new journey, one that'd be much more fulfilling and rewarding than reading.
I am going to catch up with my childhood and play Pokemon all the way through my driving course. The past week had been difficult, I'm not used to booking out on Saturday and I'm not used to wasting my time doing 350 MCQs 4 times. If the Organization is part of a bigger plan, then by extension, I can safely conclude that meritocracy isn't evident in the framework of said bigger plan, and I can do nothing but kick shadows and suck thumb...
...and buy a shiny new Nintendo DS just to play Pokemon Black.
(Then, the same inquisitive people would go "What game you playing?")
I officially have no life, and even if I had one it would degenerate into something less substantial than it has been already.
-- 9/25/2011 02:57:00 AM
