Google: The new bible.
Facebook is addictive and depressing at the same time. It's addictive to find out that some of the people you dislike but still have on Facebook are idiots, and it's depressing to find out that everyone's an idiot ultimately.
On what grounds do I make this statement?
Here's something depressing that came up:
FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn’t repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.
Even Google her name – you’ll find this to be true.
If you don’t repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you’ll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you."
Yea I made bold the statement I have the most amount of beef with. Google was thrown in in a bid to boost the credibility of the chain mail (armour much), and the blur-cocks on Facebook will just take it as it is--that this is true because it's on Google.
Google has evolved from a search engine into a fucking bible. Next time you need any extensive information on birds for a project, you'd go on Google. Libraries are obsolete. Fuck humans.
I mean, that's what I'd like to do but can't because I'm not attracted to humans enough.
Then, there are the concerned humans around who go around liking pages of missing people in a bid to help spread the word.
I find it strange. Out of the thousands of idiots who use Facebook, how many can remember the number of pages he'd liked, let alone the content of the pages?
Also, I could start a page with my picture and label myself as missing, and then ask my friends to look at the page and spread it around with their friends, who'd spread it around their friends, who'd spread it around their friends, until everyone knows of my existence and sudden "disappearance" before realizing that I was just trolling them.
Fuck trolling. What if I don't like someone and used a picture of him for the aforementioned act?
Let us put away our cynicism of the human spirit away for a moment. Let's just assume that the missing peoples' pages are real in the sense that the people depicted are really missing.
Which brings us to this question: How does liking a page help?
Let's face it, we're not trained spies. We are not able to memorize at a glance the face of someone we completely don't know. Even if we do meet that person on the streets and find that person familiar, we'd not be able to point out where or how you got to know his/her face.
And even if you do know quite certainly if that person is indeed a missing person, you might not have the balls to go forward and bring about a happy family reunion, because there'd be a part of you that says "If he's walking around in the open then he's not missing what, confirm his family already found him."
We're all afraid of trouble and we'd rather avoid such stuff. Liking a page is easy. Spreading the word is easy. Executing something is on a completely different level though.
You can never commit to a virtual page--it's just too much work and you can't keep tabs. So why do people use all these pages anyway? Is it to act like they give a shit about other people when they don't? Is it because they want to make a statement that they are actually very nice people so that when others look under their "info", they can be impressed by the amount of
Sometimes I my circuits are shorted out and I tell someone random more about myself than I'd normally do. Then they freak out and leave the conversation prematurely, or try to digress because they can't come up with an appropriate response.
I guess that when someone is asking for advice, he expects a response appropriate to the situation he'd depicted. It's demoralizing when this expectation isn't met, so much it's a turn off.
That's probably why I don't really enjoy talking to people because they can't solve my problems.
And what problem do I have?
Somehow, I can't get laid.
Good luck A level students. Don't rely on Google, you won't get it during the examinations itself.
-- 10/29/2011 06:08:00 PM
A good way to make your children assholes.
Sometimes I stalk people after I masturbate, which means I'm totally naked with a shrivelled dick while I'm clicking away at pictures. Then I feel bad about stalking those people because they are friends of friends, and are actually humans who should be treated with more respect than being stalked by a naked pervert.
Scant consolation.
Really, Apple products are taking over the world, or at least Singapore. Want a new handphone? iPhone lor. Want a new entertainment device? iPad lor. Want a new laptop? Mac lor. Apple is all about creating a niche market, and making people in this supposed niche market feel all unique and special...
Which is really weird because most of the time people masturbate after stalking others. I guess my source of arousal doesn't come from them.
Scant consolation.
I stumbled into Popular just now and I came across large piles of books on Steve Jobs. OK, he died of cancer, that is most lamentable but can we move on?
I don't really care about what he invented because all I know is that apples are rotten to the core--I know, I bit into one before. I never felt the same again.
Really, Apple products are taking over the world, or at least Singapore. Want a new handphone? iPhone lor. Want a new entertainment device? iPad lor. Want a new laptop? Mac lor. Apple is all about creating a niche market, and making people in this supposed niche market feel all unique and special...
...which doesn't make sense if you're holding onto the same gadget as 40% of other Singaporeans around you.
What we see of Steve Jobs is him spewing sweet nothings to convince you into parting with your money for his gadgets in a manner that suggests you're an idiot:
I can hold a fucking laptop, buy it so you could do so too.
Apple products are useless. I tried playing Monopoly on my friend's iPad, we all got bored and gave up. I never tried playing Angry Birds because I already have one, but instead of angry it's horny.
My primary school has this noticeboard encouraging entrepreneurship (what a chim word I can't believe I typed that out without auto-correct jumping in), and one of the posters features Steve Jobs. I don't know what sort of values they're trying to inculcate within the young ones, but I'm guessing it's not their intention to teach the boys to claim that they're sterile when they accidentally impregnate someone.
Are you reading this shit and the implied meaning? Yes, Steve Jobs once claimed to be sterile in order to shirk paternity. I'd rather have a gigolo or something worse for a father than such a sorry excuse of a human. At least a gigolo is a victim of circumstance (or maybe just someone who enjoys a different lifestyle and occupation), not a chronic sufferer of Irresponsible Asshole.
Go on. Lap up all your Apple products. Know that you're just part of statistics, you're not unique to Apple, and Apple doesn't give a shit about you because even if you don't buy from them, another 39 would.
Go on, lament about how much of a loss to the world Steve Jobs is, even though you don't know nuts about him, only his products (which cannot be completely credited to him). If the others who'd had a hand in creating your iPhone died, would you even know or care? Naw, Steve Jobs is the face of Apple and now the face is gone.
Feel sorry about the face.
Apple has done nothing but tear my family apart. During family gatherings, all the children huddle in their separate corners playing their iPads/iPhones/iTouch/iDick. There's less human-human interaction and I find that lamentable. Last week I attended a wedding dinner and there were 2 kids, brothers, and they were playing "Shrek Kart". Fuck you, there should only be Mario Kart _|_
So anyway, both were playing and playing and playing and playing, all through the night. I'm guessing they'd never learn how to share, seeing as they don't even need to ration their "iPad time". My cousins at least have to share the damned thing.
Go on, rich and successful parents, spoil your children with Apple products so that they'd treat you like shit now and forever.
-- 10/26/2011 02:53:00 AM
Geisha wins.
I really wonder if I should continue driving. I'm too easily distracted and I'm a hazard to other road users.In the Memoirs of a Geisha, it is said that a true geisha can stop a man with a look:
(68th second)
It's proven correct in my case, except that
1) she's not a geisha
2) she wasn't looking.
I nearly entered the bus bay for her when she was just minding her own business with her cleavage greeting me.
No wait...she wasn't exposing her cleavage...that was me undressing her in my mind.
Damn.
-- 10/15/2011 10:25:00 PM
Teach me the basics of living.
My driving instructor was faced with an interesting dilemma a few days back, and he shared it with me. If you were expecting driving tips, you'd be disappointed.
He found a pair of cool-looking shades on top of the letterbox area, and he was hovering between picking it up and not picking it up. He finally decided to take it, since someone else would take it anyway.
He also told me that in the lift, he was madly giggling at himself boyishly for being a naughty boy. (He's not that young.)
In fact, you can even rationalize the addition of the money into your coffers as "extra means to contribute to society".
Would you pick the money up then?
What about someone else's wallet? Or something else impossible to identify the previous owner, so the convenient excuse of "also cannot find the previous owner, might as well take" can be exercised?
Temptation strikes when one is at his weakest. Sometimes I wonder why I don't exploit when I can, and what holds me back. It's not that I'm infallible, mind you, it's just that I'm too scared to exploit when I can. I get slightly depressed whenever I think that someone else might be exploiting what I chose not to exploit, but this doesn't make me feel like I'm a better person, or a more morally upright person than the someone exploiting whatever I chose not to exploit previously--it only makes me feel fucked up, bitter, and sore.
I miss most of my opportunities.
"Some things should be seen and stored in your mind. Taking pictures either distorts the beauty, diminishes it, or lets you forget what you saw because you can rely on the camera to do it for you."
And even if I do seize whatever opportunity presents itself, I end up screwing the experience up because I'm always counting down to the end it. With a good movie, I end up squinting at my watch for a better feel of when the movie would end, because I don't want to be too surprised when it does. I'm unable to appreciate whatever good fortune/luck I have, because I'm always anticipating the moment it ends. I'm unable to live in the moment, inhale the spirits of what defines the moment, and instead I end up counting the number of breaths I'm not inhaling.
People sometimes ask me what I'm looking for, and now I can say with conviction:
I need someone to teach me how to breathe.
-- 10/08/2011 04:53:00 PM
Honesty: Social Suicide.
Having only Saturday book outs isn't that bad a thing after all, not when I have my entertainment in the form of a DS. Blissful productivity is a way of thinking that time spent on the game is not time wasted, unlike doing nothing, which makes one commit mental suicide.
For the record, if I hadn't purchased the DS, I would have spent 35hours doing nothing this week. So instead of doing nothing, I did something by playing Pokemon Black, and these 35hours were well spent or so I feel. I mean...definitely much better spent than stoning or reading books trying to act sophisticated and well-read.
Remember my grouses the previous post about people bugging me for whatever book I'm reading? It happens on a much more uncontrolled scale when one plays Pokemon though. People really breathe down my neck just to watch a Pokemon battle, which is about as sophisticated as a BattleOn battle.
There are times when I can feel a sudden presence behind me, like the slightest bending of the back of my chair, or the gentlest breath on my hair, or the infinitesimal dimming of the ambiance, and when I turn around, I won't be disappointed with the bemused look of a friend, coupled with his incessant preaching on Pokemon and how to do battle, how to catch Pokemon, what type of ball to use, et cetera. It befuddles me to no end, but I don't really know how to turn down their kind advices without being offensive. They mean well after all. Or so I hope.
Seems like the power of Pokemon lives on, so much that Pokemon is a proper English word recognized by even Blogger.
We do learn a lot from simply playing Pokemon though. We learn that in life, you're egocentric--there's only one hero in the world and that hero is definitely you, whether you like it or not.
We learn that life, despite being in a 3-dimensional plane, has a 1-dimensional plot. Whether you like the options or not, you have to say Yes for the game to continue, for the plot to develop, for your life to go on. There is no escape.
We learn that in life, there'd always be nosey fucks (as phrased by WK) around exerting peer pressure on you, breathing down your neck in such a way that you feel you should respect their opinions and not form your own because as long as one person sounds strong and confident, people tend to lean towards him.
We learn that in life, words of wisdom comes whether you want it or not.
We learn that in life, thumbs are there for us to suck.
We learn that digital lifeforms don't have a mind of their own and thus would never pangseh us. They make better companions than your friends.
I'm starting to feel really restless though. I kinda miss chiongsua-ing. It's a real shame that just when I'm starting to get used to the SAR21, I don't really have to use it anymore. It makes me kinda depressed to be honest. And that's really weird.
I think the world would be a much better place if we didn't care about our image that much. I know I don't have that much of an image myself, but I don't admit to masturbation or watching porn to my family--I don't even use vulgarities at home. Sometimes, however, this isn't such a good thing--I can't tell my family members to get out of my room "because I want to watch porn and shake my dick".
If I were able to admit upfront my urges, perhaps I won't be as tortured as I am now, having to keep the door slightly open while listening to the slurping noises with only one earphone (the other ear being preoccupied with defense) and doing my hand sexercise with my pants half-down, with one hand read to ALT+Tab away at any hint of danger.
If I could admit upfront my needs, I could lock the door without any guilt. Heck, I could live without any guilt.
Then I wouldn't have had to fumble open an envelope.
-- 10/02/2011 02:35:00 AM