A good way to make your children assholes.
Sometimes I stalk people after I masturbate, which means I'm totally naked with a shrivelled dick while I'm clicking away at pictures. Then I feel bad about stalking those people because they are friends of friends, and are actually humans who should be treated with more respect than being stalked by a naked pervert.
Scant consolation.
Really, Apple products are taking over the world, or at least Singapore. Want a new handphone? iPhone lor. Want a new entertainment device? iPad lor. Want a new laptop? Mac lor. Apple is all about creating a niche market, and making people in this supposed niche market feel all unique and special...
Which is really weird because most of the time people masturbate after stalking others. I guess my source of arousal doesn't come from them.
Scant consolation.
I stumbled into Popular just now and I came across large piles of books on Steve Jobs. OK, he died of cancer, that is most lamentable but can we move on?
I don't really care about what he invented because all I know is that apples are rotten to the core--I know, I bit into one before. I never felt the same again.
Really, Apple products are taking over the world, or at least Singapore. Want a new handphone? iPhone lor. Want a new entertainment device? iPad lor. Want a new laptop? Mac lor. Apple is all about creating a niche market, and making people in this supposed niche market feel all unique and special...
...which doesn't make sense if you're holding onto the same gadget as 40% of other Singaporeans around you.
What we see of Steve Jobs is him spewing sweet nothings to convince you into parting with your money for his gadgets in a manner that suggests you're an idiot:
I can hold a fucking laptop, buy it so you could do so too.
Apple products are useless. I tried playing Monopoly on my friend's iPad, we all got bored and gave up. I never tried playing Angry Birds because I already have one, but instead of angry it's horny.
My primary school has this noticeboard encouraging entrepreneurship (what a chim word I can't believe I typed that out without auto-correct jumping in), and one of the posters features Steve Jobs. I don't know what sort of values they're trying to inculcate within the young ones, but I'm guessing it's not their intention to teach the boys to claim that they're sterile when they accidentally impregnate someone.
Are you reading this shit and the implied meaning? Yes, Steve Jobs once claimed to be sterile in order to shirk paternity. I'd rather have a gigolo or something worse for a father than such a sorry excuse of a human. At least a gigolo is a victim of circumstance (or maybe just someone who enjoys a different lifestyle and occupation), not a chronic sufferer of Irresponsible Asshole.
Go on. Lap up all your Apple products. Know that you're just part of statistics, you're not unique to Apple, and Apple doesn't give a shit about you because even if you don't buy from them, another 39 would.
Go on, lament about how much of a loss to the world Steve Jobs is, even though you don't know nuts about him, only his products (which cannot be completely credited to him). If the others who'd had a hand in creating your iPhone died, would you even know or care? Naw, Steve Jobs is the face of Apple and now the face is gone.
Feel sorry about the face.
Apple has done nothing but tear my family apart. During family gatherings, all the children huddle in their separate corners playing their iPads/iPhones/iTouch/iDick. There's less human-human interaction and I find that lamentable. Last week I attended a wedding dinner and there were 2 kids, brothers, and they were playing "Shrek Kart". Fuck you, there should only be Mario Kart _|_
So anyway, both were playing and playing and playing and playing, all through the night. I'm guessing they'd never learn how to share, seeing as they don't even need to ration their "iPad time". My cousins at least have to share the damned thing.
Go on, rich and successful parents, spoil your children with Apple products so that they'd treat you like shit now and forever.
-- 10/26/2011 02:53:00 AM