叫我皇上！
I had a rude awakening to my very own sexuality a few nights ago. I was in camp of course, and I had this dream that shattered almost everything I thought I was.
I know that people talking about dreams are boring and that everyone who blogs about their dreams are narcissistic pieces of shit who have nothing better to do than blog about what goes on inside their screwed up brains--oh wait that's what I do even when I'm not dreaming anyway.
So..in this dream, I was in an army camp with a pleasantly plump lady. She offered to give me a blowjob, and I accepted it readily, and adjourned to the toilet where she promptly showed me her dick.
The most natural reaction is to zip up and run out, but I unzipped and carried on.
Thankfully this did not result in a happy ending as I woke up before the dream ended on a stickier note.
I swear I'm traumatized. Maybe I'm bisexual after all. Which probably isn't that bad a thing...but I don't really want to think of a future filled with testosterone. I know females fail me pretty often, and that I, too, feel females pretty often, but this doesn't mean that my sexual orientation should change.
If someone can decipher my dreams, please do, I will pay.
..with my mouth.
I suck.
I probably will swallow too.
"My point is, there are a lot of people in the world. No one ever sees everything the same way you do; it just doesn't happen. So when you find one person who gets a couple of things, especially if they're important ones...you might as well hold on to them. You know?"
-Sarah Dessen
I haven't really found anyone like that, and people I've found don't value what I find important in them, and I never want anyone more than they want me, BECAUSE I'M A BLOODY 皇上. I have more pride than to grovel around finding or holding onto friends. I will be a dick as much as I find reasonable, and those who remain are friends.
I want to be an Emperor. I think I can be one, too. I'm proud. I have a small dick. I have the stature and powerful killing aura and I'm immune against common causes of Emperor deaths like assassination. I think I have royal blood in me, as well as that little bit of womanizing genes.
If you're interested in joining my harem, you can register at www.marryahuangshang.com.
No, don't. That site doesn't exist. I'll tell my non-existent technician to rectify this problem later. I do need a harem. What's an Emperor without his subjects and slaves and concubines?
One day, all my delusions will drive me mad.
I have so many things I want to do but don't dare to. I am horribly limited, and this is hitting me so hard I've lost the drive to even masturbate.
I can see the appeal in having a group of girls to idolize--they'll never fail you, they'll always smile at you regardless of what you've done, or did not do, they'll always encourage you, they'll always be the warriors, the heroines of the day, fighting away whatever darkness looms over you, like your salty pillow that had weathered more than it should, the stuffed toy you talk to every time you have a secret you can't tell anyone else, the dildo that had explored more of you than anyone else did.
The appeal is there. A bunch of cutesy beautiful bubbly girls singing, dancing, posing, just for me in my world.
I pick the dildo.
-- 12/04/2011 12:11:00 AM
