Sorry is the hardest word to accept.
Sometimes, your body is filled with energy and you feel like you can take on anybody, you can take on the world. That feeling is exhilarating.Sometimes, your body is sapped of energy and you feel like the whole world can flay you alive and you won't even flinch because you can't even be bothered.
Sometimes you have so much fight.
Just last week, my parents had a gathering of their secondary school friends. De javu much? Naw, it's just that this time, we're the host and it's a different clique.
All of the people invited have children, and one of them, my age, decided to bring his girlfriend along. I don't really know what's his point in doing so, maybe he's bored of just sitting around not contributing to the conversation or trying to make himself enjoy/appear like he is enjoying the occasion, so he decided to cut all pretense and just whack his girlfriend into the situation, but he did it.
And the damnedest thing about this is that his girlfriend simply clammed up.
There's a difference between being socially awkward and being fucking rude, and she crossed the line.
If I'm socially awkward, I'll probably say the wrong stuff, maybe screw up my speech or greetings, and blush and be embarrassed.
If I'm fucking rude, I'll hide behind my boyfriend and not shake the hands extended in front of me, and not exchange greetings with anyone at all.
I was trying very hard to close my eyes to this scene because they were rolling so much.
I cannot fathom how someone who is probably going to be 20 this year (our age) can be so....rude. If we are talking about a child, like a toddler who always clings onto his mother/older sibling and refuse to engage in conversation with the adults, I understand that it is, to a certain extent, cute.
But this? THIS?
You're a teenager, for fuck's sake. Grow up. It's not cute. It's a turn off.
I really don't understand why that guy chose her to be his girlfriend--no other choice? Too lonely an NSF?
If I were to get a girlfriend, she can be socially awkward. I mean, I enjoy watching people screw up. But if she's of such a quality I'd rather throw her away. Someone I can't bring home isn't someone I can hand in as homework done.
My family is important, and if someone's rude to them...no chance.
Speaking about rude reminds me of the current furore over Taiwanese/Japanese singer/actress Makiyo. Recently, she went clubbing with 3 friends, one of whom is a male Japanese friend. After getting slightly tipsy, they got onto the cab, and the taxi driver asked them to fasten their seat belts, which they refused, and subsequently alighted. Here's the report:
http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/front/archives/2012/02/12/2003525256
There are many other reports of course but this is the first that popped up and I'm lazy to do anymore research.
I wouldn't go into the moral issues on how public figures should behave, because I'm not such a moral creature myself. I wouldn't get into how heartless she lied, because there'd be people raving about it already.
What's truly scary about the case is that it highlights 2 aspects of modern life:
1) Big Brother is watching you. Always.
Her lies fell apart only because of surveillance cameras installed in both taxis and shops. Of course, if I were her I wouldn't dare to lie in the first place, because whacking a taxi driver in the middle of the streets isn't the smartest thing to do. Let's face it, even though it's midnight and all, there are still people walking around. There's always people walking around, and as exemplified in this case, invisible eyes.
We live in this climate of fear--we always toe the line not because we want to, but because there's this innate fear that somehow, in some obscure way, your transgressions would be found out.
We never dare to test the system because the notion of the system being completely foolproof is drummed into us so effectively that we're paralyzed with fear.
Often, even when we aren't afraid of getting caught, the punishment promised if we do get caught is too high for us to risk for the seemingly small, insignificant potential benefit of transgressing. For example, if I was thinking of becoming a career snatch thief, I'll think about the consequences of being a snatch thief. If I snatch an old lady's handbag and get like $50, I'll be happy. It's a few minutes of stalking and waiting for the perfect opportunity, so the work I have to put in isn't that huge. Most people don't even earn $50 per hour.
But if I get caught, I face a jail term of N months. So this makes me think, should I risk N months of my life for this $50?
And then I'll get cold feet. And go "This isn't worth the risk."
Is this what life is truly about? So many inhibitions, because our culture promotes it? Because it's a very effective way to get people to toe the line?
I'll applaud Makiyo for having the balls to lie though. I mean, it's definitely a desperate attempt to salvage her reputation, but yea, to have the balls to lie so blatantly is commendable.
2) Humans like to watch other humans fall.
We're all sadistic and it gives us a sense of satisfaction knowing that someone more popular, more well-known, more seemingly accomplished than us as a human being are proven to be human and lousily so. We like to know that we're all the same and we all make mistakes. We like it even more when some people make a mistake so big you feel better about yourself.
Let's face it--we're all insecure dicks.
If it were just any random drunk in the same scenario, it probably wouldn't be so publicized. It wouldn't polarize the media, artistes, and the normal civilians.
3) Sorry is not the hardest word to say, it is the hardest word to accept.
Makiyo went ahead to apologize to the taxi driver's wife. She just kept sobbing and apologizing and sobbing and apologizing and going like "I lost sleep the whole night because I am feeling so guilty" and that kind of crap. See, another case of a female trying to cry her way out of something. It's supposedly much more powerful, this Cry method, when used by a desirable female, but
3.1) I don't have a fetish for Japanese girls, and
3.2) this is too severe a matter.
 |
| The haggard look is recommended for appearing sincere. |
She lost sleep because she feels guilty--or because her career prospects are now bleak? Of course, she can reinvent herself as the repentant girl or something, but that'd take a lot of energy.
But she will get to move on.
What about the wife then? Her husband was in the ICU (I believe he's better now) because he sustained serious head injuries, 2 broken ribs, and a concussion.
How do you expect the victim's wife to accept the perpetrator's apologies, the perpetrator who callously beat her husband up?
"Sorry" is so easy to say. It's one of the easiest way out of anything. If you don't know what you did wrong, you can simply apologize and then everything is fine because it's the magic word. Let's say that you promised to have dinner with your friend, but at the last hour, you pangseh-ed your friend, and left him high and dry and without a dinner mate, leaving him looking stupid because he alighted at the previously agreed upon MRT station and not the one that is closer to home.
All you have to do is apologize. All he can do is accept your apologies, because then, he'd lose a reason to be angry. If he doesn't accept your apology, you can simply say "Why so petty?"
Let's say you stole someone's husband. You apologize to her. But what then? What does it achieve? By apologizing, you're effectively saying "I'm sorry, I didn't want things to turn out this way but it seems that your husband, oops, ex-husband, wants to be with me instead."
And how do you expect your victim to simply accept your apology?
If I hit you and apologized, would you accept the apology and not retaliate?
You know the cliched joke about the word "sorry"?
A: I say sorry already what..
B: You say sorry so what? Then we need the police for what?
A: To catch people who never say sorry lor.
You apologize, because you did something wrong. People accept your apology because you did something wrong to them. Sounds like a good deal to me, paying lip service after doing wrong to people.
Why should "sorry" be the hardest word to say then?
What Valentine's Day?
Valentine's Day is just another day in camp, spent with friends. Even if I do get to book out that'd be just pointless. Big yawn. I have no friends because they're either dating other guys or not gay.
Boohoo so much for it also being a friendship day.
I'm OK with couples walking around already. I'm used to that fact. What I'm not used to is the fact that everyone else around me is pangsehing me for balder pastures and I'm wondering why.
-- 2/12/2012 04:01:00 AM